Yankees Chick

2 More Weeks Till Opening Day!

2010-03-19T17:13:00.000-07:00

Howdy chickadees!

Sorry for my blogging absence. As mentioned approximately 912891230324 times previously, I have a hectic schedule between work and school.

The good news is that school is ALMOST OVER! Not just for the year - for good! (What's that, Steinbrenner? You want to give me season tickets as a graduation gift? Why thank you! Send them on over!)

You know what that means... more time for blogging!

I will return when the season starts in just over 2 weeks for more consistent blogging, I assure thee. I have no time right now, and let's be honest: it's pointless to waste everyone's time with thoughts on Spring Training anyway (stop trying to convince yourself that what you see in Spring Training will translate to the regular season - it never does).

In the meantime, don't forget that you can follow me on the TWITTERVERSE: Hit me up, I'm @yankeeschickmo. 50% of my tweets are baseball-related, 48% expose my WWE obsession, and the other 2% tend to be complaints about restaurants not having Dr Pepper. You know you want in on that!

Top Ten Tuesdays (srsly!): Play it Again, Boys!

2010-03-02T20:11:00.000-08:00

It's been a minute or two since I did a Top Ten Tuesday post, but back when I was blogging constantly (AKA when I had even less of a life than I do now), they were one of my fave posts to craft up - so let's bring 'em back!

As each member of the Yanks rolled into camp for Spring Training and were pounced upon by the media, every single one of them reiterated the same cliched sentiment: "we just want to repeat what we did last year." A lovely goal, but as history has shown us, a tough one to realize. There are so many variables involved in winning even one World Series - not just your own team's injuries, slumps, and luck (good and bad), but that of 29 other teams, too! - that winning two in a row is no small feat, even with a spectacular team.

The Yanks do have a spectacular team, of course - arguably even better than last year's championship roster. They've got about as good a chance of repeating as any team in recent history, but there's a few things that need to fall into place just right if they want any chance of back to back titles.

Top Ten Things the Yanks Need to Get Ring #28 in 2010:

10) A big year from Cano. Robby Cano Dont'cha Know had a dandy year last year in most regards - solid defense, stellar average, and a nice burst of power (25 home runs compared to his previous career high of 19). However... he couldn't always hack it in big situations and hit into 22 double plays. If he can get his act together just a tiny bit more, it'd be huge for the team. Let's just hope he's not too distracted by the loss of his BFF to play well - we don't want a repeat of 2008's performance.

9) A decent performance from the Gardner/Winn/Thames contingent. I've said several times that because of the depth of the rest of the lineup, having a mediocre player in that outfield spot isn't really that big of a deal. That may be true, but there's still no room for a wretched performance. Whoever ends up in that spot needs to at least be consistent and able to contribute to the team in some way - we can't have a .200 hitter going out there every day.

8) Minimal injuries. It's a "duh" one to even put on here, but really: some of these dudes ain't spring chickens, and we've got at least one guy that is particularly injury-prone (I'm looking at you, Nick Johnson. Try not to trip over a sunflower seed on your way to the dugout.) A rash of ill-timed minor injuries or a totally debilitating injury to a key player like A-Rod or Sabathia could be fatal. To their dreams. And anyone sitting near me when it happens.

7) We need the 2008 Granderson, not the 2009 one. Last year was a relatively rough year for Curtis, at least in comparison to his previous seasons - he only hit .249 with a .327 OBP (although he did hit 30 homers, which he can hopefully duplicate with the Yanks' homer-friendly right field). Worst of all, his splits last year were heinous - he only hit .183 against lefties last year. We need better.

6) No burnout for Sabathia. Sabathia has earned a reputation for being a workhorse, never turning down an opportunity to pitch one more inning or on one fewer day of rest. This was key last year, but can he keep it up?

5) Jobamania AND Hughsie need to be ON all year. Wherever they end up, they both need to finally live up to their hype - and stay healthy. Whichever one ends up starting is going to make a huge impact on the team every five days, and whoever ends up in the 'pen has the ability to be a stabilizing force on the team. Both are important roles, obviously, but it would also be a big morale booster for the team to see both of their young "future stars" finally become stars.

4) A drama-free A-Rod. I think after last year, we can pretty much confirm that A-Rod's attitude makes a WORLD of difference in his performance - and it also makes it easier for the rest of the team to relax and play their best, too. If A-Rod gets entangled in a baby-mama drama with a Real Housewife of New Jersey or continues to be thrust into the spotlight for past transgressions, all bets are off.

3) Jorgie MUST be able to catch (and preferably hit) as often as humanly possible - and he needs to hug it out with Burnett. No offense to Cervelli, but Jorgie better be prepared to play 140 games. Plus, with no Molina to fall back on this year, AJ's gonna have to suck it up and learn to get along with Posada - work on those signs, kiddos.

2) Mariano not to wake up and realize he's 40 years old and shouldn't by any stretch of the imagination still be this good. For a closer to still be this automatic at this stage in his career is obscene... and absolutely necessary for the Yanks' success. If the Yanks lose the luxury of being able to count on winning just about every game when they take a lead into the 9th inning, maintaining momentum and confidence will get a lot trickier.

1) Girardi needs to prove that his strategy wasn't a fluke. I cannot begin to count the number of times last year that I hollered and ranted about Girardi's "over-managing". By the end of September, the man was driving me insane - taking pitchers out when they clearly had more in the tank, giving people days off - I felt like it was killing the rhythm. Clearly, it worked... but I'm not sure I'm convinced it's the best way to do things. Girardi needs to pay close attention to his team this year and make adjustments if necessary (or not - I'm willing to be proved wrong again!)

What say you, YC-ers? Anything you'd like to add to the list?

Release 'The Steroid List" Already, for A-Rod's (and Gossip's) Sake!

2010-03-01T17:32:00.000-08:00

When I saw on Yankees.com today that A-Rod has been contacted by the FBI to discuss Anthony Galea, a sketchy Toronto-based sports medicine doctor suspected of supplying 'roids to a variety of athletes (his assistant was caught smuggling HGH across the border... but I'm sure that was just a coincidence), I initially was uninterested. We already know A-Rod juiced and have made our decisions about whether we give a shit or not. Do we need to hear every time his name comes up in a discussion about steroids? He got the steroids somewhere and presumably used them in the presence of others - it's not like he made them himself in a converted meth lab and did them in isolation - of course his name is going to come up in connection with a steroid supplier. That's not news, it's exactly what you'd expect.

I'm so uninterested, I'm interested again. About being uninterested about A-Rod.

A-Rod cheated. SO DID A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER DUDES. I'm so ill of A-Rod being the poster boy for early 2000's steroid use, just because someone leaked his name and not the other hundred-plus goons on that 2003 "anonymous" list of players who tested positive. Of course, that list is by no means the end-all be-all of who did or didn't do steroids - there are surely even more - but I really feel that it needs to come out in its entirety to give the entire era some context. It's simply unfair for A-Rod to be the one taking the heat when so many of his teammates were doing the exact same thing (or worse). The fact that a whole bunch of players were doing steroids doesn't make A-Rod's cheating "less bad", but it does make it more understandable, and having to acknowledge how many good players were using illegal substances would perhaps quiet (even marginally) not just the A-Rod haters but the entire community of "oh my god using steroids is as cheat-y as incapacitating your opponents with a Tonya Harding whack; I could never vote a steroid user into the Hall of Fame!" idiots (get it through your heads: steroids don't magically make a bad player good. A-Rod still would have been good without them. Matt Lawton didn't turn into Barry Bonds with them. It doesn't work like that, so stop discounting everything a steroid user did the minute a positive test comes back.)

A-Rod participated in the test under the impression that the results where to remain anonymous. Why was that revoked for him and not others? I don't know all the legalities involved, but I sure do wish someone could step in and insist that the list be revealed in full, just to even things out a bit.

And if that's not legally possible for someone to demand, then Sports Illustrated should bust out the checkbook and find themselves a former lab assistant willing to spill the beans for a nice payout... because I'm sick of reading the words "steroids" and "Alex Rodriguez" in the same sentence. Let's start spreading the blame!

"Both my muscles and rage are natural, I swear!"

Chan Ho Park Ready to Provide Pitching and Ninja Protection to the Yanks

2010-02-23T17:37:00.001-08:00

As the Yanks report for duty in Florida to gear up for a repeat of last year's championship performance (no pressure though, dudes), there will be a few new teammates with whom to get acquainted. Since their big win in November, the Yanks added Curtis Granderson, Nick Johnson, Javier Vasquez, and Randy Winn (as well as an assortment of random non-roster invitee types), and yesterday it was announced that there will soon be another new face at camp: Chan Ho Park.

Huh? Eh, why not.

The Yanks have struck a one-year, $1.2 million deal with the 36-year-old veteran former starter, with plans to stick him in the bullpen and shore that sucker up as much as possible. Park has primarily been a starter throughout his 16-year career, but pitched decently out of the bullpen for the Phillies last year (including shutting down the Yanks in four appearances in the World Series). With the unheard of surplus of starters the Yanks are lucky enough to be in possession of there's certainly no need (or room) for him in the rotation, but when it comes to the bullpen, as the Cash Man so eloquently put it: "The more, the merrier. You can never have enough."

With Park rounding out a bullpen that already includes the likes of Edwar Ramirez, David Robertson, Sergio Mitre, Mariano, and of course whichever members of the Hughes-Jobamania-Guadin-Aceves contingent don't wind up with the starting gig, the Yanks roster seems to be improving by the day. And if anyone thinks otherwise....

why could I not find the video of this gorgeous display of ass-kickery (the absolute ONLY thing I ever think of when I hear Chan Ho Park's name)?!

Farewell to the Wangster (And to What Might Have Been)

2010-02-17T16:32:00.000-08:00

If you had asked any baseball expert on June 14, 2008 to predict what Chien Ming Wang would be doing in 2010, I doubt a single one would have answered "pitching for the Nationals after putting up a 9+ ERA in 42 innings in 2009".

Alas, thanks to a freak foot injury incurred whilst running the bases during an interleague game on June 15, 2008, that is precisely the state of affairs in Wang-ville. Despite all the promise he showed in New York from 2005 through early 2008, the Wangster's days as a Yankee are over: it was announced yesterday that he signed a one-year, $2 million contract with the Nationals.

90 seconds after the last time Wang was effective

There's no question that since that fateful day in Houston, the Wangster has made limited contributions to the team - he didn't pitch again in 2008, and when he returned in 2009 he went 1-6 with a 9.64 ERA before having season-ending shoulder surgery in July. Before the completely preventable injury (*cough* ADOPT THE DH RULE, NL JACKASSES *cough*), he was a vital part of the Yanks' rotation and on his way to becoming a bona fide ace. Before we bid him adieu and wish him luck in DC (where, ironically, he'll be forced to run the bases on a regular basis - let's hope he's more careful this time), let's take a gander at the highlights of his Yankee tenure:

2005: After being called up from AAA mid-season, the Wangster made 17 starts, putting up an 8-5 record with a 4.02 ERA. During the game against the Orioles on September 19, he tied a record for assists in a game by a pitcher with 9!

2006: A breakout year! 19-6 in 33 starts with a 3.63 ERA, a performance impressive enough to finish 2nd place in the Cy Young voting.

2007: Almost as good as the previous year, with a 19-7 record in 30 games started and a 3.70 ERA. He came 5 outs away from a perfect game against the Mariners in May and took a no-hitter against the BoSox into the 7th inning in August.

2008: In the brief time before the injury threw his career (and the Yanks' rotation) off track, the Wangster was putting together another nice year, with an 8-2 record and 4.07 ERA. When he won his 85th career start in April, he became the fastest starting pitcher to reach 50 wins since Dwight Gooden in 1986.

Had he not gotten injured, who knows how things might have turned out?

The moral of the story? Your choice: interleague play sucks, or the NL needs to get hip and join the DH train. Or both!

A Quickie Post: Ready to Fire Boras Yet, Damon?

2010-02-16T16:44:00.000-08:00

It's finals time for me, so I apologize for the lack of updates lately - this situation shall be rectified in short order and I'll be back to posting multiple times a week soon, I promise!

To tide us over until my schoolwork is complete tomorrow, here's an interesting little nugget courtesy of the New Haven Register, who had a chat with the Cash Man recently. Cashman confirmed to the Register that the Yankees made not one but two generous offers to Damon, both of which $cott Bora$ turned down. The first offer was a 2-year, $14 million deal, which was promptly turned down despite the fact that that was pretty much exactly what Damon had requested (and about four times what he's worth). The Yanks tried one more time before signing Nick Johnson, this time offering one year for $6 million - far less than they had originally asked for, but by that point the demand for him had dried up considerably and the Yanks needed Damon less thanks to Granderson, so still a decent offer all things considered. Needless to say, that was rejected as well.

Per the Cash Man, Bora$ cited Abreu as the reason for the rejections, saying: "Bobby Abreu’s (new) contract is $9 million a year right now on the table so why would we do that? So I expect to see a Bobby Abreu contract."

As Damon approaches the last few weeks before Spring Training without a contract, I can't help but wonder if he's as pissed at Boras as he should be. Sure, "Abreu money" would be great, but times have changed - teams aren't doling out millions of dollars for dudes with sub-par fielding skills (even ones who can hit 25+ home runs in the new stadium). The offers the Yanks made were perfectly reasonable, and methinks Boras and Damon made a huge mistake in assuming that other teams would be looser with their wallets than the Yankees. It's not 2006 anymore (thank god) - the days of absurd contracts are largely over.

The Cash Man got a little jab in, saying "I hope he does not sign for something less than our offer. That means he should have been a Yankee and that’s not our fault.”

And the Starting Left Fielder Is... Who Knows.

2010-02-09T12:03:00.000-08:00

After the announcement of the decision to sign veteran Randy Winn last week that put the official kibosh on any hopes of a Damon return in 2010, one might have come to the conclusion that the Yankees were pretty much set with their left field plans. They've got Gardner, they've got Winn, they've got no more money allotted to improving that position - that just about settles that, right?

Apparently not!

The Yanks have now invited 32-year-old righty Marcus Thames to Spring Training with the intent of having him compete for the left field gig with Garder and Winn. Or they may platoon two of them. Or all three of them! There doesn't appear to be any plan in place at this point - these three potentially-capable candidates will have to battle it out in March to see who sucks the least; the one or two still standing come April will be our starting left fielder.

Ya know what would have been easier? Scraping together a few million bucks from the spare change in Big Stein's couch and signing Damon for the everyday job.

But i digress.

As I said a couple of weeks ago when I was advocating that the Yanks should just settle on Gardner and be done with it, with the other 8 dudes in the lineup there's really nothing to be concerned about even if our left fielder does suck. That is not to say that whichever of these three guys (or combination thereof) ends up starting will suck - just that they might, and that's actually OK. Let's take a gander at these three dudes and discuss what they may be capable of adding to the team:

Brett Gardner: A youngster - just 26 years old with two seasons of experience, both with the Yanks. Lifetime .256 average and .325 OBP; his slugging percentage is just .352, but he's 39-for-45 on his stolen base attempts (in just one and a half seasons). While he is a lefty, unfortunately not much potential for taking over for Damon in the cheap right-field homers category.

Randy Winn: The most seasoned of the bunch at 35 years old and 12 years of experience, and the only switch-hitter. Lifetime .286 average, .344 OBP, and .418 slugging percentage, and he's averaged 21 stolen bases per season during his career. Not a ton of power, but could hit a few to right field (who couldn't?).

Marcus Thames: 32 years old, 8-ish seasons of MLB experience (not many games played in some of those seasons), including 7 games for the Yanks in 2002 (you don't remember because it was not memorable). Lifetime .243 batting average, .306 OBP, .491 slugging, has stolen a whopping THREE bases in 8 years... and been caught 9 times (for the non-mathletes among us, that is a very, very poor ratio). Potential for hitting a bunch of cheapo right-field home runs is not remarkable. On the bright side, he's been hit by pitches 11 times in his career!

At least you got on base, we'll take it.

You'll notice I didn't bother to compare the fielding skills of these lads - I've determined that aspect is a moot point after last year; as long as the 2010 left fielder runs himself into walls 10% less often and his relay throws make it an extra 4 feet, we can consider it an upgrade over Damon's fielding.

While Winn arguably has the best stats of the three, my money is still on Gardner for the starting gig. He plays hard and has been steadily improving since his time in the minors, and he's got youth on his side. Gardner's speed and hustle (perhaps he's a John Cena fan?) are unique on a team packed with older guys with ample power, and quite valuable. What he lacks in power will be picked up by the other guys, and when he gets on base we know he'll be jetting down to second base.

Winn won't be out of a job, though - I anticipate that he'll be playing a few times a week, or coming in to bat in certain situations (remember, he's a switch-hitter while Gardner's a lefty).

As for Thames... I don't even understand why they invited him. Hope he likes Scranton!

A Double Shot of BQE: An Footballin Cashman-Hater and a Pitcher on a Mission

2010-02-05T11:26:00.000-08:00

After a long week of work and school, I finally had a spare moment to review the happenings in Yankeeville from the past couple days, and was quite jazzed to find not just one but two quotable quotes to dissect!

The first comes to us courtesy of our dear Jobamania and relates to the surprising issue I wrote about a couple weeks ago: the surplus of starting pitching that the Yanks have to work with for 2010. Unlike most of his teammates, whose roles on the team are set, Joba will be heading into Spring Training without the promise of a starting gig. The Yanks have made it clear that they have not made a decision on who will be the fifth starter and will make a decision during or after Spring Training. Joba will need to compete for a spot in the rotation (which is where he wants to be - he is intent on being a starter despite the fact that he's arguably been more successful in the bullpen... but that's a whole other discussion I shan't delve into tonight) against Phil Hughes, Chad Gaudin, Sergio Mitre, and possibly even Alfredo Aceves.

This picture is too awesome to NOT include. It reminds me of this. Enjoy.

Despite a disappointingly mediocre 2009, Joba is still fired up and confident in his skills as a starter. He's ready to get down to Florida and prove himself, and understands that having four of five guys competing for one spot will benefit everyone:

"It's something that's going to be a battle. The greatest part about it is it's not only going to make guys fight for that No. 5 spot, but it's going to make our team better. We're going to push each other and continue to try to outwork each other. That's the greatest part about this game; not only do you push one another to do better, but the team is going to be better for it."

Joba is likely the frontrunner for the gig - barring a disastrous Spring, of course - but forcing him to work for it will make him even better. Of course, the bonus effect of this Spring competition will be an improved bullpen, too!

(Until everyone gets burned out in August because they worked so hard in the off-season.)

Alas, not everyone in the world is as gung-ho about the Yanks as Joba... which brings us to our second BQE!

The Yanks are, as we are well aware, a polarizing force. They certainly have their share of detractors, and their wealth is a main bone of contention amongst many of the haters. We've all heard the "the Yankees buy their championships!" scoff (9 times out of 10 in a Boston accent) enough times to want to beat a Bostonian over the head with a bag of chewed-up sunflower seeds, but Baltimore Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti took the "Yankees and their money" complaint to an interesting new level this week. Bisciotti's beef is apparently not just the disparity between the Yanks' payroll and that of the other teams, but also that the Yankees don't win enough (seriously):

"It certainly doesn’t show up in the standings. If I’m a Yankees fan, I’m upset we’re not winning 130 games with the roster that they have and the money that they pay out. I think it’s a disgrace they only beat the average team by 10 games in the standings with three times the money. I’d fire that GM. You don’t need a GM. All you have to do is buy the last Cy Young Award winner every year."

"It's PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE that the team I run blew it (again) this year!!!"

I... don't know where to start here. This is so absurd I don't even know how to mock it properly. Are you angry that they have money? Or are you OK with the money but think that the number of wins should be directly proportional to the number of dollars spent (it doesn't work that way - talk to the Mets)? If it's a disgrace that they "only" won 10 more games than the average team, then I suppose it is also a disgrace that it took them 6 games to win the World Series. And if all a team has to do to be successful is be in possession of the previous year's Cy Young winner, then shouldn't the Giants have been in the Series? Seriously, I'm confused.

If anyone speaks idiot and wants to translate that for me, I implore you!

Swish Gets YC to Watch a Sitcom...

2010-02-02T16:44:00.000-08:00

When baseball is out of season, most of my ample allowance of TV time is dedicated to a healthy balance of traumatizing true-crime shows, reality competitions (often equally traumatizing), and watching oiled-up muscly men with no acting skills roll around (I'm referring to the WWE, not porn - just for the record), but last night I had to make an exception and allot some precious DVR space to a much different type of show. The Yanks' ever-cheerful faux-hawked right-fielder, the one and only Nick Swisher, made his acting debut last night on "How I Met Your Mother", a show I'd previously only heard of from commercials and thought was called "We've Got Doogie... and He's Always Cheerful!"

Calling it Swish's "acting" debut is a bit of a stretch, as he played himself, but the dear boy was charming and represented himself quite well (which is, sadly, more than I can say for Johnny Damon's cringe-worthily awkward guest host gig on WWE Raw earlier this year*). Swish's participation in the episode consisted primarily of him looking cute (a job well done) and wooing the ladies, dishing out sage observations like "aren't we all trying to find that special someone to share a toothbrush with?" I can't say Swish's skills convinced me to give Doogie and his cheese-fest a permanent spot on my DVR, but he really did do a nice job. Maybe next he and Cano can go on Dancing With the Stars.

Check out Swish's Emmy-worthy performance below:

*I wasn't kidding about the WWE obsession

The King of Dumpster Diving (AKA Kevin Towers) to Join Yanks as Consulant?

2010-01-28T17:39:00.000-08:00

According to a tweet (the most official and scientific of all resources!) today by Bob Nightengale of USA Today, the Yankees plan to announce a deal with former Padres GM Kevin Towers sometime before Spring Training, most likely as some sort of "special consultant" (the Cash Man ain't going anywhere, simmer down). Buster Olney predicted it back in October, and Towers himself said during the Winter Meetings (during which he met with several teams, including the Yanks) that he'd like to work with an American League team, so while Nightengale's tweet is not "official" news, Towers almost certainly will be joining the Yankees in 2010.

Whatever it is he'll be doing for the Yanks, I'm willing to bet it will result in all sorts of goodness. Even with the Padres' budget, which is approximately equal to my salary at my after-school job in high school (Jane's Cakes and Chocolates, represent!), the Padres won four division championships made it all the way to the World Series in 1998 during his reign. Before becoming GM, Towers was a scout, and used his skills to put together some surprisingly impressive teams made up primarily of random under-the-radar dudes - particularly pitchers - who had been cast off by other teams (deemed "dumpster diving" by the San Diego Union Tribune). He was also responsible for one of the most ridiculous trades of the past couple years, when he arranged a deal that sent a minor league catcher (Billy Killian), Akinori Otsuka (whose performances in the local "Corkys Pest Control" commercials remain the highlight of his career) and Adam Eaton to Texas in exchange for Adrian Gonzalez, Chris Young and OF Terrmel Sledge.

He won't be in sole charge of trades in New York, but I look forward to seeing what he comes up with for the Yanks - with his keen sixth sense for under-valued talent and the Yanks' money to behind him, I anticipate big things.

Damon Watch 2010! ...is over.

2010-01-27T17:29:00.000-08:00

This bobble head almost makes everything better. He's literally on his knees begging us to like him.

Well, my fellow Damon fans, the sad fate we knew we were likely facing has come to fruition. The Yanks signed fellow - but much cheaper - veteran Randy Winn today for $2 million to be their fourth outfielder, shutting the door on any hopes of a Damon return. Joe Girardi confirmed the news on Mike Francesa's radio show tonight, saying he called Damon to wish him well and that he "is going to be missed".

As I explained last week, with an already incredible lineup and Brett Gardner available to play left field, investing in a pricey free agent like Damon really didn't make much sense. For just $2 million, Randy Winn actually fits the bill for the Yanks pretty well. He's a switch-hitter with a career .286 batting average (although he had a wretched 2009 - let's hope that was a fluke),, can run okay, and will almost certainly mis-play 90% fewer balls than Damon.

And if he sucks, Gardner will still be there.

In short, signing Winn was a generally wise move: why pay big bucks for a star when others are available to do 70% as good a job for 20% of the price?

B.Q.E. o' the Week: A-Rod Can Laugh at Himself as Much as We Laugh at Him

2010-01-25T15:29:00.000-08:00

A-Rod's New York state of mind circa 2004-2008 (left) and 2009 (right)

When I posted the BQE with McGwire's non-apology apology for juicing a couple weeks ago, I noted that it was unlikely that any other quote would ever top that one in terms of idiocy and amusement factor. That statement stands and likely will for some time (because really, how are we going to top "I did this for health purposes"???), but A-Rod's reaction to winning an award for post-season excellence this weekend earned him a spot on the BQE list for a different reason entirely: it was sincere, endearing, and humble. In other words, totally different from any other BQE I've ever posted.

A variety of awards were handed out at the 87th annual New York baseball writers’ dinner in NYC on Saturday, from the traditional AL and NL MVP to more personal honors like the Joan Payson Award for community service (given to Carlos Beltran... that'll make his team feel better about him concealing his surgery from them, right?) and the Arthur and Milton Richman You Gotta Have Heart Award (which was given to Aaron Boone, obv). Our dear A-Rod was honored as the winner of the Babe Ruth Award (the New York chapter of the Baseball Writers’ Association of America’s postseason MVP), an award no one who had ever uttered the words "choke artist" or "A-Fraud" during the 2004, 2005, 2006, or 2007 playoffs would have fathomed him earning.

But earn it he did! His 2009 post-season numbers were indeed award-worthy: he batted .365 with six home runs (most of them undeniably clutch) and 18 RBI in 15 games, a performance worthy not just of an award but of a pardon for his prior playoff shortcomings. His amazing post-season capped off an equally impressive regular season, something no one would have expected after everything he'd endured in the previous couple of years (events which include, but are not limited to: a bitchy wife that wore clothes adorned with "Fuck You" to his games, a nasty divorce from said bitch, a romance with a near senior citizen with freakishly muscular arms [I'm looking at you, Madonna], getting dumped by said old lady for a 20 year old male model, opting out of a mega-huge contract in order to get an even bigger one [although I hold Boras primarily responsible for that one], being mocked by his former manager in a high-profile book, and a steroid scandal).

While accepting his award, A-Rod acknowledged both his record of crappy playoff performances and the personal problems:

“Postseason MVP. Wow. What’s next, the good guy award?”

Seeing A-Rod cap off an impressive 2009 with a well-deserved award and a humble, self-aware acceptance speech is a delightful symbol of his shift in attitude. Yankees fans have been hoping for a change like this since he joined the team nearly 6 years ago, and it fills me with hope for what we'll be seeing from him for the next 8 years. A relaxed A-Rod that performs like a champ in the playoffs? It seemed unlikely just one year ago, but he proved me wrong. Perhaps that good guy award is up next after all!

A Pitching... SURPLUS?!?!

2010-01-20T17:58:00.000-08:00

Less video gamin', more fighting-for-your-rotation-spot, please.

After a few shaky years of relying on one or two solid starters backed up by a series of interchangeable question marks (Rasner, Ponson, Chacon) and downright WTF's (Igawa, Wright, Pavano), the 2009 Yanks finally managed to put together a roster of starters that came close to being as impressive as their lineup. The Wangster was a bust, but they still had four starting pitchers pitch the entire season without injury or major disaster (CC, AJ, Pettitte, Joba), and the collection of dudes that filled in at the 5th spot was refreshingly reliable - as far as 5th starters go, that is - as well (Hughes, Gaudin, Mitre). As we look forward to 2010, the Yanks' list of starters is even more impressive. In fact, the Yanks appear to be in possession of - I'm frightened to even say this for fear of it causing a wave of Pavano-esque injuries and sending us right back to where we were in years past - a surplus of starting pitching.

Could this really be true? Is this real life? In addition to their three best performing starters from last year (CC, AJ, and Pettitte), the Yankees will also have Javier Vazquez in 2010, giving them a rotation any team would be thrilled to have regardless of who was rounding out the last spot. Unlike previous years where the 5th (and sometimes 4th) spot was at best a gamble and at worst a throwaway, the Yanks have four viable starters to fill in after CC, AJ, Pettitte, and Javy. Hughes and Joba are the obvious candidates for the spot - Girardi and Stein still consider both of them as potential starting pitchers, not relievers - but the Yanks also still have Sergio Mitre and Chad Gaudin, who started 9 and 6 games last year, respectively.

Who will actually get that spot remains a mystery for now; arguments can be made in several directions (and we shall discuss them in a later post). The fact that they have all these options is the important thing. Not only does it give the Yankees some breathing room in the event that someone gets injured or proves to have an off year, but it also forces all of them to step up their game to earn the spot - having to beat out their teammates to get the chance to pitch will surely inspire some serious hard work and determination. I don't necessarily anticipate Chad Gaudin to bust out an epic season and knock Joba and Hughes out of the rotation, but for those two to know that if they don't pitch well they could easily be bumped can only be good.

It's been quite a while since I've felt such confidence in the Yankees' pitching staff. Not having to rely solely on Mariano and offense was a nice treat last year, and I'm really looking forward to enjoying that same luxury this year. With a lineup that actually could carry a team with poor pitching and a rotation like this to take the pressure off, this team is looking downright absurd*.

*Superstition disclaimer: Not I would count my chickens before they hatch. Knock on wood, etc etc.

Poll: Settle on Gardner, or Keep Looking Elsewhere?

2010-01-18T16:33:00.000-08:00

Let him go, Brett. You can hang on your own.

As I mentioned last week, my love for Damon (post-Boston/beard Damon, that is) had me rooting for him to return to the Bronx for another season - if the price was right (even as a fan, I can't justify the Yanks spending more than a couple million on him, nor would I want them to sign him for anything more than one season). Unfortunately for Damon fans like myself, since the Yanks (wisely) don't want to shell out big bucks for their left field spot and Damon is still holding on to hope of scoring big elsewhere, it's time to accept the fact that Damon will likely NOT be manning left field in 2010. Thus the time has come to suss out other possibilities...

The Yanks have not yet formally announced who they plan to have in left field this year, but with Damon out of the picture, they essentially have three options: make a trade, sign a free agent, or put Brett Gardner out there. Making a trade seems unlikely - who would they be trading for? And who is left to give up? - and the list of free agents that fit the criteria the Steins have in place for their 2010 left fielder ("will work cheap" and "doesn't suck too horribly") is dwindling by the day (although Gary Sheffield is still available! I'm surprised - who wouldn't want that little ray of sunshine brightening up their team's morale?). That leaves our dear friend Brett Gardner, a guy once thought to be a better bet than Melky Cabrera before his lackluster performance relegated him back to the bench. Gardy may not be the most impressive player, but his low price (under half a mil) and potential for improvement have him just weeks away from getting the left-field gig by a process of elimination. As a Yankees fan during the Steinbrother area, I'm not used to the team "settling" at any position - they've got the money, go after the big players! - but I actually think giving the job to Gardner instead of expending more money or players is the best move the Yanks could make with their left field opening.

Why give the gig to Brett? As noted, Brett ain't the best left fielder in the league, and when compared to the rest of the Yanks lineup he looks like he belongs in the minors. That said... who cares? Have you seen the rest of that lineup? While a 1-9 can't-get-em-out lineup like we had last year is fantastic, it's also rare and simply not necessary. A-Rod, Teixeira, Jeter, Granderson, Cano, Posada, Swisher and Nick Johnson are more than capable of taking care of business whether their 9th teammate is Brett Gardner or Wily Mo Pena or even Matt Holliday. Would having another 25-home run guy on the team be nice? Sure. But it's not necessary for the Yanks to be successful in 2010.

What's more, Gardner shouldn't be written off as a "waste" of a lineup spot anyway - he has the potential to contribute much more than we saw last year. Remember, last year at Spring Training he impressed Girardi so much he was actually given the starting job in centerfield over Melky. Once the season got rolling, his performance unfortunately dropped off significantly, but he's obviously got some natural ability in there somewhere. He's only 26, and doesn't have a ton of experience - perhaps what he needs is the chance to get in a lot of at-bats without a ton of pressure (look at that lineup above). His first partial year in the Bronx, when he appeared in 42 games in 2008, was not impressive (.228/.283/.299), but he improved substantially in 2009 when he had more opportunities: .270/.345/.379 in 108 games. Why not give him the chance to prove what he can do? If he does poorly, it won't have a huge impact on the team, and if he does well the Yanks find themselves enjoying the services of a quality left fielder without sacrificing anything.

That's my two cents... what dost thou think?

A Sarcasm-Free YC Post (the first and likely only ever!): Follow the Yanks' Lead and HELP

2010-01-15T15:58:00.000-08:00

If you're a long-time YC reader (all three of you), you are likely familiar with the fact that I am a tender-hearted soul, prone to empathizing to the nth degree with anyone hurting. The earthquake and subsequent disastrous state of affairs in Haiti has affected me deeply, as it has so many others (Pat Robertson excepted). I donated as much as I could afford, and I was thrilled to see yesterday that both the MLB and the Yankees stepped up to the plate themselves, to the tune of $1 million and $500,000 respectively. Makes you feel a little better about dropping $80 at a baseball game, no?

Whether you're an overly-sympathetic person accustomed to getting choked up at the thought of so much as one injured child, or a cynical ethnocentric conservative with no interest in anyone outside your immediate community, I urge you to donate something to the relief effort. This is not a political issue or a religious cause: these are human beings suffering from something completely out of anyone's control. If the Yankees can donate more than they pay Brett Gardner in a year, you can afford five bucks.

click the image to donate

$2 Million + YC's Love Should Be Plenty for Damon

2010-01-14T16:51:00.000-08:00

If Damon goes, who will represent the Yankees in the world of sports entertainment??*

If you had told me five years ago that I'd be mourning the departure of Johnny Damon from the Bronx, I would have laughed in your face. I'm not ashamed to admit that I harbored an intense hatred for "Johnny Demon" when he and his nasty beard were residing in Beantown - the very sight of him was enough to illicit a vomitous reaction out of me - but something unexpected occurred at some point over the last four years: I became a Damon fan.

I actually tried hard NOT to like him once he joined the Yanks, but my efforts were in vain. He lost the beard, stole a few bases, showed some good team spirit, and I was converted. I liked his contributions to the team, from the solid OBP and speed (and the fact that he capitalized on the new stadium's freakish right-field with a buncha cheap-o home runs in 2009) to the relaxed and fun-loving attitude he brought to a team in dire need of a little loosening up. When the Yanks opted not to re-sign him right away after his contract expired, I sincerely hoped that they would reach a deal to bring him back (just for one year; let's not get too crazy here) - not because he's the best player available, but because he's been such a great fit for the team.

Unfortunately, it's not looking like Damon will be back in the Bronx in 2010, thanks to his salary demands and the Steinbrenners' out-of-character adoption of an actual budget. According to the New York Post, the Yanks are dead against spending a dime more than $2 million for their 2010 left fielder, a number far lower than what Damon thinks he's worth. To be fair, while I would like Damon to re-sign, the Steins are wise to stick to their guns on this matter: there are a plethora of similar left-field options to be had for $2 million (Brett Gardner is an obvious choice, but free agents like Nady or Jerry Hairston Jr are also available and could form a platoon of sorts) and the rest of the lineup is so absurd that paying big bucks for an offensive star is simply not necessary.

At this point, it appears that the only way Damon will wind up back on the Yankees this year will be if he can't find a deal elsewhere and is forced to lower his asking price and ditch his demand for a multi-year deal. Both the Giants and more recently the Braves have reportedly shown an interest in him, so the odds of that situation coming to fruition are slim.

It'll be sad to see Damon go; I'll miss his BS right-field home runs and his sheepish smiles after he makes mistakes in the outfield. He's got good mojo. I can only hope he goes to the National League so that I can continue to like him (cuz we all know the minute he hits a home run against the Yankees, he'll be stricken from my fickle heart).

*I vote Cano

B.Q.E. o' the Year: McGwire Shocks The World Absolutely No One

2010-01-11T16:01:00.000-08:00

He was lying?! But I thought glasses denoted truthfulness?

B.Q.E's (best quotes ever) are some of my fave posts to do: they essentially write themselves thanks to the sheer idiocy of the quotee. Today's addition to the B.Q.E. files is no exception, as Mark McGwire decided at last to come clean about his past steroid use after 10+ years of unyielding (and unconvincing) denials to everyone from fans to congress. In a lengthy statement that covered everything from his dedication to his new job as Cardinals' hitting coach to a list of injuries he felt justified his juicing (at the time), Big Mac admitted to using steroids throughout the '90s, including during the 1998 season when he broke the home run record (good thing Bonds broke it again a couple years later and brought dignity back to baseball!).

The statement itself is somewhat dry, likely written by an adviser of some sort, and hence not the ideal source for humorous quotes. Once he got on the horn with reporters, the fun began! He was very emotional and had some interesting things to say about his previous denials and the reasons he used steroids. Let's look at the highlights:

On how coming clean feels:

"It's very emotional, it's telling family members, friends and coaches, you know, it's former teammates to try to get a hold of, you know, that I'm coming clean and being honest. It's the first time they've ever heard me, you know, talk about this. I hid it from everybody."

No, you didn't - everyone knew you were juicing. Denying something doesn't mean you hid it, it just means you're a liar.

On whether the steroid use contributed to his many injuries that prompted his retirement:

"That's a good question."

And that's a bad answer.

On his 2005 lie-fest at the congressional hearings (for which he now blames his lawyers' advice):

"That was the worst 48 hours of my life."

Lying to congress wasn't pleasant? Aw, we feel so bad for you.

And the quote that may never be topped by another B.Q.E.:

"I did this for health purposes. There's no way I did this for any type of strength use."

See, everyone? Injecting steroids over and over and over and over again was strictly a health regimen; those beefy American Gladiator arms that jacked a gazillion home runs were a side effect. The motive was health.

Many thanks to Big Mac for the comic relief on this Monday!

Off-Season Upgrades & Updates Part Uno

2010-01-10T11:52:00.000-08:00

I'm not a huge fan of change when it comes to my Yanks, particularly when the status quo is working just fine and dandy, but it came as no surprise that after winning the World Series in November the Yanks basked in the glory of their 27th championship for about 36 seconds before beginning their quest to improve the team for a bid for #28. While I personally would have been content to watch the exact same team trot back out there in 2010 and try to repeat their successes, I understand the need to capitalize on free agency (by both letting some dead weight go and snapping up some available players from other teams) and lucrative trade offers, and I must say the Yanks have done a bang-up job tweaking the team thus far this off-season. They've steered clear of all the blockbuster-type players many assumed they'd be in the market for (Lackey, Halladay, Holliday, etc), instead focusing their energies on making minor changes that cost relatively little in terms of both money and prospects. Is it possible that the Yankees might make it through an entire off-season without blowing $3028023091283 or shipping off their entire farm for one player? The winter's not over yet, so there may be a big move still up their sleeves, but the 2010 team is shaping up quite nicely without the need for major moves. Let's review what the Yanks have done so far to prepare for 2010:

No hard feelings, Hideki: Despite having a very productive 2009, capped off by an MVP-worthy World Series performance, the Yanks let Matsui walk away rather than re-signing him. I like Matsui and appreciate everything he's done for the Yanks (and I'm sure the Steins appreciated the Japanese advertising yen he brought in), but there was really no need to keep him around at this point. He is not able to play defense anymore and his knee is hanging on by a thread - keeping him around strictly as DH is silly when there are other candidates available who can offer more for a lower price.

...But we'd rather have Nick Johnson: I loved NJ when he was first with the Yanks, and I'm thrilled to have him back. His services won't be needed at first base very often (Teixeira took a grand total of about half an inning off last season), so he's likely to spend just about all of his time in the DH spot, but that is precisely where he should be with his .400+ OBP and potential for a bunch of right-field cheapie homers in the new stadium. I'm not always keen on teams signing someone strictly to be a DH, but the Yanks' infield is set in stone and they've already got a plethora of outfielders, so NJ it is!

You better learn how to dance, Curtis: The Yanks already had about 678 outfielders, but when they agreed to a 7-player three-way trade with the D-Backs and Tigers that landed them centerfielder Curtis Granderson I was excited all the same. He's got speed and power and is a good all-around dude to boot - which, as we saw from Nick Swisher last year, can add a lot to a team. For Cano's sake, though, let's hope he can dance a la Melky...

No mas Melky, bring back Javi: The writing was on the wall for Melky once CG was signed - as mentioned above, how the hell many outfielders does this team really need? Still, seeing him traded to the Braves for Javier Vazquez was bittersweet all the same. Javi is obviously much more valuable to the Yanks than Melky, however, and will hopefully fill out the rotation quite nicely. Whether he can repeat the incredible performance he put together in '09 seems unlikely when you factor in the league change and the park he'll be pitching in, but he's just what the doctor ordered to back up CC, AJ, and...

...Dandy Andy!: Bringing back Pettitte was a no-brainer - he's affordable (relatively) and you know exactly what he'll be bringing to the table.

That just about sums up what's been going on in Yankee-land since November, but I'm sure there's more on the horizon - will Damon settle for a one-year deal eventually after all? Will a reliever of some sort make his way into the Bronx? What's going to happen with Nady? Stay tuned: per my (somewhat late) 2010 resolution, I assure you I shall be here to discuss all the goings on this year!

I'm Back to Attack Thanks to Big Mac (Rhymalicious!)

2010-01-08T17:50:00.000-08:00

Why hello there, Yankees fans and folks who accidentally clicked my link from a Google search for "Kate Hudson A-Rod Breakup"! 'Tis I, the Yankees Chick - a gal you've likely forgotten thanks to my abysmal failure to update this sucker even once in the past 5+ months.

Yes, it's been a minute or two since I last blogged (and longer still since I kept this site updated on a truly regular basis), and I apologize for my absence. No, I haven't stopped obsessing over the Yankees (come on now), nor have I given up on the blog - 2009 was simply a wildly busy year in the land of the YC. Even whilst I was forced to push the bloggity to the back burner last year, I always intended to fire it back up as soon as one of three things happened:

1) I finished school, thus freeing up my evenings for bloggin'
2) Vince McMahon hired me as a high-paid special consultant for the WWE, with my sole responsibility being to watch every episode of Raw and Smackdown and offer suggestions on how the storylines and characters could be improved (for the love of christ, can John Cena and Randy Orton not be in a title match at just one PPV?), thus freeing up my days for bloggin'
3) Something ridiculous in the baseball world fired me up so much that I decided I simply MUST get back on the blogging saddle pronto, regardless of my lack of time to do so.

I'm still in school, and Mr. McMahon has yet to seek out my valuable services, so you can all thank Mark McGwire for inspiring me to dredge up my blogger.com password and get back to work!

If you're a die-hard MLB Network viewer like myself, perhaps you saw this little nugget yourself last night:The fuck? What year is it?

The most shocking thing about this seemingly out-of-nowhere Big Mac news is that Harold and the gang at the MLB Network failed to mention what seems in my opinion to be the obvious motivation for such a move: a better chance at Hall of Fame election. Since becoming eligible for the HOF in 2007, it's become abundantly clear that the voters have no interest in allowing McGwire into Cooperstown (I know, I know - it's shocking that they don't believe his steroid denials, isn't it?), and making a brief comeback may give him a fighting chance. By rejoining the field of active players, Big Mac would no longer be eligible for the HOF for the time being, but once he re-retires and waits out another 5 years for renewed eligibility, attitudes may have changed enough to give him a chance at election.

Cuz seriously, there's no other reason for the man to even consider re-joining the MLB. I don't think he's that hard up for cash, and I certainly don't think elderly pinch hitters are such a rare commodity that the Cardinals are banging down his door begging him to return.

That's it for today - again, I apologize for my long absence, and I look forward to writing much more in 2010. Stay tuned this weekend for my thoughts on the Yanks' off-season moves thus far (fare thee well, sweet Melk-Man...)

Thank You, Kate Hudson

2009-07-19T14:28:00.000-07:00

With the humiliation of Joe Torre's "let's all mock A-Rod" book, the steroid scandal, a divorce, getting ditched by Madonna for a teenage model, a hip cyst, and surgery that put him out of commission for a couple of months, A-Rod had a one hell of an off-season. Such turmoil could easily send even the most balanced person into a tailspin, but for a sensitive (fragile) dude like A-Rod, I must confess I would not have been surprised if all the trauma induced an emotion-fueled baseball breakdown. To be honest, I was steeling myself for an unproductive year from him.

Well, he's been back from his injury for a couple months now, and I am thrilled to have been totally wrong about his mental state and productivity! He's happy. He's smiling. High-fives with teammates abound. He looks calm, collected, relaxed. Best of all? He's doing exactly what the Yanks need him to do: hitting for power and getting on base. His average may be on the low side (.255 as of today), but that one little number is very misleading this case. Take a look at the rest of his line:

OBP: .402
SLG: .557
HR: 19 (and remember, he missed the first month of the season)
RBI: 52

So what gives? How is a man known for falling apart in the face of 3 booing fans doing so well this year when by all accounts there is far MORE stress and pressure on him now than ever (one would think that the steroids scandal in particular would be weighing heavily on his mind as he tries to prove that his success isn't solely juice-based)?

My money is on his new lady friend, Kate Hudson. Crappy chick-flicks aside, she seems like a lovely gal, and best of all has a reputation for being laid back and fun-loving, precisely the influence A-Rod so desperately needs. Let's all join together in thanking her for calming our man down - don't fuck this relationship up, A-Rod!

B.Q.E. o' the Week: Some Hatred from the YCD

2009-07-13T18:09:00.000-07:00

As all you dedicated YC-readers are well aware, my daddy-o (AKA the "YCD") is a life-long and uber-dedicated fan of the Bronx Bombers. Like his dear daughter (me), the YCD is very emotionally invested in the team and has a tendency to get fired up when things aren't going well.

Like this weekend, when the Yankees stammered their way through a pathetic 3-game series of fuckupery in Anaheim. Very similar to what we saw earlier in the year when they were fucking up against the Red Sox, the Yankees appeared to be a totally different team all weekend: bad pitching, lazy defense, stupid baserunning, and a total lack of clutchtasticness (and not just A-Rod, so zip it). After such a great run throughout June and the part of July, why couldn't the Yanks get it together in Anaheim? Do they psych themselves out against their major rivals? Were they intimidated (I hope not, because the Angels are not as good as the Yankees made them look)? The whole weekend was truly maddening and honestly embarrassing for the team (and those of us who defend them).

I was discussing the series with the YCD and trying to surmise what could be the cause of the tragic display the Yanks bestowed upon us, and he had no problem identifying what he sees as the source of the team's problems:

"I hate three people right now: Andy Pettitte, Joba Chamberlain, and Joe Girardi. I'm over Pettitte, Joba's a pussy, and I hate Joe Girardi."

I've already mentioned my concern about Joba and his troubling insistence that he was pitching his "best" lately, and no one can deny that Pettitte has been extremely disappointing this year, but I'm not sure I'm ready to be out on Girardi. Is it really his fault? What could/should he be doing differently? Convince me one way or the other in the comments section, kiddos. Are you on team YCD or still wearing your Girardi jersey?

Jobamania Delusionmania

2009-07-11T15:33:00.000-07:00

Remember that annoying kid you knew growing up who always insisted they were great at something despite ever-increasing evidence to the contrary? The type of kid that could fail 10 math tests in a row and still brag about it being his best subject, or the horribly klutzy girl that kept trying out for the cheerleading squad year after year, thinking they really had a chance at making it? Their confidence was so ridiculously off-base that you couldn't help but feel bad for them while wondering what the hell their parents were telling them to convince them of their awesome-ness.

Joba is totally that guy right now.

Our dear Jobamania, whose pitching this year has continued to be ineffective at best and downright pathetic at worst, stated last night that his "stuff" and "mechanics" in his last two starts were the best he has had all season.

Read that again, and then take a gander at his line over those aforementioned last two starts:

8 IP, 18 hits, 13 runs, 7 earned runs, 2 BB, 5 K, 3 home runs.

Now, I certainly understand that it is possible to pitch well but get unlucky (bad backing defense, particularly lucky opposing hitters, etc etc), but I simply cannot agree that Joba has shown his "best" stuff recently. You know how I know this? BECAUSE I HAVE EYES AND CAN SEE THAT HE'S BEEN PITCHING HORRIBLY. Giving up 18 hits in 8 innings is not a fluke, it's an indication that your pitches are not good.

To be fair, Joba also expressed frustration and disappointment in the results of his recent outings, but to say that he feels his "stuff" was at his "best" is worrisome indeed. Confidence is important and I certainly don't want the poor kid to get too down on himself (putting immense pressure on oneself is a recipe for disaster; just ask the growing number of players on the DL for anxiety problems), but how is he going to improve (which we desperately need him to do) if he thinks that what he's been doing is his "best"?

For those counting, the Yanks are already down to 4 starters thanks to the Wangster's inability to recover from suck-itis, and 4 innings of Joba's current "best efforts" every fifth day is not helping matters. It's lovely that Joba has such faith in himself, but he's going to need to step it up to re-gain mine.

The Yanks are in First, I'm Back, What More Could You Fools Want?

2009-07-10T12:46:00.000-07:00

Well hellooooooo there!

Greetings from the Yankees Chick! It's been a long, long time since last I updated my precious little baby (and by "precious" I mean "the first thing to get neglected whenever I am busy"), and for this I truly apologize. Contrary to popular belief, I did not "give up on the Yankees because they suck" (an accusation I've received via several delightfully borderline-unintelligible emails several times since my last post; spelling and general idiocy aside, doesn't it stand to reason that that argument would really only make sense if the Yankees did indeed suck? Whatevs) or die, I am simply suffering from too-much-to-do-itis as I am in the unfortunate position of having to work full time AND go to school full time. YOU try finding time to bitch about Chien-Ming Wang and Cheaty Ramirez after putting in a 40+ hour workweek and seemingly endless hours thereafter crying/screaming/wringing my hands trying to figure out complicated techie crap for school.

That said, I've decided to kick the blog back into gear again. I can't promise the luxury of fancy regular features like Top Ten Tuesdays and Rest o' the League Round-up (all of which were prets lame anyway, let's be honest with ourselves here), but I assure you I WILL be updating far more regularly than I have been in the first part of 2009. Seriously.

After all, there's much to catch up on, from Manny being Cheaty (and why I kind of like that he's doing well now) to Joba being boring to the glory of the Yanks and Sox battling it out for first place yet again. Meet me back here later and we'll discuss all these fabulous topics in more depth!

Text update: MELK!

2009-04-22T16:24:00.001-07:00

Suh-weeeet!!! Way to go, Melk-Man! Not only did he hit 2 homers (including the walk-off jack!), but he hit them from opposite sides of the plate --- an all-too-rare talent these days.

Text update: Homerific

2009-04-22T11:32:00.001-07:00

Testing, testing, 1-2-3!! Just realized I can blog via text message (apparently I've been sleeping since 2005). Had to comment on the home run derby going on in the stadium - fluke or a sign of what we'll be seeing for the next 50 years? And is it necessarily a BAD thing? At least we've got the bats for now - ask me again in 10 years when the roster is totally different...

TONS of Silver Linings. TONS (seriously)!

2009-04-18T19:56:00.000-07:00

After what has proved to be a wild ride in the world of the Yanks this past week, some fans are admittedly frustrated. We've seen some truly frightening pitching, the worst of which came from the Wangster, whose performance today moved him from the "well, anyone can have one or two bad starts" category to the more critical "pardon me sir, but what the fuck is wrong with you?" status, and we're down an outfielder (I guess the Cash Man was on to something with those 13289023890 outfielders after all) thanks to Nady's elbow - but despite all this there have been plenty of great things to focus on in Yankeeville thus far this season. So forget about the game you watched today and ponder all these silver linings surrounding the bad stuff:

1) Robby Cano Dontcha Know is BACK TO ATTACK! His numbers weren't great last year, but he finished the 2008 strong and he has picked things right back up in 2009. So far he's hitting .405 with a .468 OBP, 3 homers, 2 dubs, and 8 RBI - stellar!

2) CC's opening day start really was a fluke. His subsequent two starts have been just what we were all counting on from him.

3) Nick Swisher, our "backup/utility dude", has proven himself worthy of a roster spot. Is the lifetime .240-ish hitter going to finish the season with the .371 average he's currently rocking? Of course not. But is he better than the average utility player? YES.

4) Melky is doing his damndest to stay on the team. He lost out on the starting job to Gardy, but he's not giving up - every time he gets a chance, he's making an impact.

5) Mariano is still Mariano. Every year I think "maybe this will be the year he starts to decline, he is getting pretty old..." and every year he proves me wrong. Thank you.

6) Dandy Andy Pettitte is off to a great start.

7) So is AJ - and he's managed to stay un-injured!

8) Swapping the Jeet and Damon in the lineup is already paying off - Jeet has stolen 2 bases (that ain't gonna happen on Damon's bum foot) and isn't hitting into infinite double plays!

9) A-Rod is on his way back and is in great shape. Say what you will about the man's indiscretions, frightening choice in women, etc etc: he is one hard working man and will do anything to get back in action. He's been working his cute little booty off since the moment he woke up from his hip surgery and I have every confidence that he'll be back in full effect right on schedule as planned.

Feel better yet?

LET'S GO YANKS!

Everything is Under Control

2009-04-09T18:06:00.000-07:00

Monday and yesterday's games were admittedly ~~a tad disappointing~~ pretty disastrous. The Wangster and CC didn't bring their A-game and the relievers didn't look too keen on picking up their slack; we also didn't see anything spectacular from our pricey new toy over at first base. Nevertheless, I don't think there was any need for the sheer panic I was hearing from fans, much less the glee anti-Yank crusaders were expressing. Case in point, from the comments on Monday's post:

It's Wed. and yet again the yanks are lossing in the 5th 7-1. It's going to be a long year if your a Yankee fan. The best last place team money can buy. They spent 180 million a un-tested first baseman who is now 0 for 6 (hitless and clueless) 161 million on a pitcher who couldn't get one K in his first outing. Time to fire Girardi?????

First, the Yanks were losing, not lossing. Second... IT WAS THE SECOND GAME! I try to judge players on a larger sample size than, say, 5 innings. Third, since when is Tex "un-tested" - I'd say six seasons of experience is a decent "test". Finally, what does Girardi have to do with this? He had nothing to do with the contracts any of these guys received and can't force CC to throw strikes (unless I'm mistaken and he is indeed a puppet master).

Sheesh. Had this stressed-out commenter not posted anonymously, I would have contacted him and/or her directly to issue some soothing words.

Luckily, the Yanks took care of that for me by playing a fabulous game today. In case you missed it, here's the highlights:

Final score: 11-2
Burnout's line: 5.1 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, 1 BB, 6 K
Coke, Veras, Bruney, and Mo combined for 3.2 scoreless/hitless/walkless innings
Homers from Tex, Cano, and Swisher
Stolen base for Gardy
Molina threw out a potential base-stealer
Cano was 3-4 (I told you last year was an anomaly!)

So seriously: simmer down. Everything will be just fine.

I Pity You New Yorkers...

2009-04-06T16:42:00.000-07:00

...who are doomed to pass by infinite newsstands tomorrow featuring the NY Post, whose cover will surely lambaste poor CC.

What will it be? C-See Ya Later? CC Sucksbathia? Post your guess in the comments. Best one wins a prize!

Aside from the pitching, the game wasn't that bad. Jorgie, who I consider to be our biggest question mark, came through with a sweet homer, and Gardner showed off why he earned that centerfield gig with a huge assist to gun down Mora at the plate. As for CC, he'll be just fine - everyone is entitled to a bad start every now and then, it's just unfortunate his had to come today.

The good news is that the Orioles have nothing after Guthrie. See you Wednesday, O's!

Kick it off With a Bang!

2009-04-03T19:23:00.000-07:00

muchismas gracias to ESPN, from whom I procured this glorious pic

The Yanks are back in the Bronx, but things were a little different from the last time they played at home. No A-Rod, Tex-Mex at first, new pitchers in the clubhouse, and, oh yeah - a new stadium!

The new Yankee Stadium opened its doors to fans today at last as the Yanks played the Cubs (why?) in an exhibition game, the first of two to be held at the new stadium before the Yanks head to Baltimore to open the season (again: why?). The lineup was quite a bit different than last year, with the Jeet leading off, and Texixeixeioxioewxioa in the 3-spot (Abre-who?), but these kiddos were hitting as if they'd been batting this way for years. The bats were on fire: Jeter did exactly what you'd expect him to do by grabbing the first hit in the new stadium's history (Ken Burns has already filmed a lovely yet slightly creepy retrospective on the moment, I'm sure), Gardner and Melky each had a hit (I think Girardi was seriously onto something by forcing those two to compete for jobs; A+ to him for that stroke of genius), Matsui hit a homer, Cody Ransom did his best A-Rod impersonation with a homer of his own, and Cano continued his fabulous spring with a homer himself. The Wangster didn't do so hot - 5 IP, 6 hits, 4 ER - but we did get to see Mo, Veras, Ramirez, and Albaladejo each pitch hitless innings!

Today's game may not have "counted", but it sure did provide an excellent glimpse into what this team is capable of. As I said the other day about CC, I cannot fathom this team NOT succeeding - I'll bet a burrito on the division title right now. Let's get crazy.

No More Melk Deliveries (Clever!)

2009-03-31T17:27:00.000-07:00

I guess after a year of seeing more of THIS from Melky:

than THIS:
Girardi has determined that enough is enough.

After a solid 2006 and serviceable 2007 season, Melky really fell apart in 2008. In 129 games he amassed an average of just .249, his OBP was a frightening .301, and he only managed to knock in 37 runs (although the rest of the idiots hitting ahead of him didn't help much, to be fair) and was weaker in the field too - just 7 assists last year compared to 16 in 2007. This spring Girardi made it clear that the centerfield job was not guaranteed to Melky, and despite a decent showing during the ST games (.340 [18-for-53], with one home run, nine RBI and two stolen bases) it was announced on Sunday that the starting gig is going to Brett Gardner instead.

For his part, Gardner certainly did his best to earn the spot: in 22 games he hit .385 (20-for-52) with three home runs, six RBI and five stolen bases. Girardi explained the decision thusly:

"Both of them played great [in Spring Training]. Melky had a tough year last year, but he came into camp and was ready to go and played very well. Gardy finished up strong and had a great camp. We're just going to go with Gardy."

Melky won't be totally usurped, however, as he'll be on the bench ready to pinch hit or give Gardner a day off. And not all hope is lost for the kid - we tend to forget how young he is since he's been around for so long already, but he is just 24 and could certainly improve his game.

Unless "Gardy" (that's the best you could do in the nickname department, Joe?) fails to impress in the first month or so, I have a feeling Melky won't be wearing pinstripes for long. He's out of options on his contract, meaning the Yanks can't send him to the minors to hone his skills and free up a roster spot, and the Yanks have plenty of competent outfielders to serve as reserves. Thanks to his strong spring performance, I am sure that at least one team would be happy to have him on their roster (Padres?), and if the Yanks can get a decent reliever in return I guarantee Melky will be on the first plane outta the Bronx.

Let's hope Gardner likes dancing with Cano...

All CC, All the Time

2009-03-27T19:20:00.000-07:00

Between A-Rod's steroid-palooza and the WBC excitement (and my admitted lack of timely updates) this winter, I've barely mentioned just how happy I am that the Yankees pulled out all the stops to bring CC Sabathia to the team. It was announced this week that CC will be the starter for both Opening Day in Baltimore and for the first game at the new Stadium on April 16th, and for good reason. AJ will be solid and I expect huge things from Teixeira for years to come, but CC is going to have a bigger impact on the 2009 team than all the other signings the Yanks made this year combined - mark my words.

What I love about this man (besides his slim, sexy physique, of course) is that he is a true workhorse. He's obviously a talented dude, but what makes him a gem is his Energizer Bunny-esque endurance. After pitching 240 innings in 2007 he upped the ante last year, going 250 innings, bunches of which came on short rest or during complete games (or both). He pitched seven complete games last year - for comparison, the entire Yankees staff combined for ONE complete game in 2008 (courtesy of the pre-injury Wangster against the BoSox on April 11, 2008) - and showed no measurable drop-off even at the end of what was surely an exhausting season. No injuries, either! While he looks far from athletic, he's clearly doing something right.

The Yanks threw more cash at CC than any other pitcher has ever received (and Boras isn't even his agent!), but despite the cost it is arguably one of the least risky expenses the team has. After 8 seasons of perfect health (do a CTRL-F for "injury", "disabled list", or "hurt" on any CC article - you'll see) and extremely steady performances - the difference between his best years and his worst years is incredibly small - continued success is as close to a sure thing as you can get in baseball. Baseball Prospectus is predicting the following for CC in his debut year in pinstripes:

Games: 33
W-L: 16-9
ERA: 3.43
IP: 231
Strikeouts: 201
Home Runs: 22
BB: 53

The Yankees have not had a pitcher like that in YEARS. The last time the Yanks had a starting pitcher power through 230+ innings was way back in 1997 when Dandy Andy pitched 240. Being able to count on a solid start from CC week in and week out is going to do wonders for the Yanks in terms of the actual wins he can provide, of course, but the stability he'll offer is going to be big, too. For the past several years the Yankees' rotation has been riddled with old dudes and injury-prone idiots (often one and the same, actually), with different people cycling in and out constantly. Being able to count on the ace is going to be a welcome luxury not just for us fans to watch but for the whole team's morale!

Am I overexcited? Expecting too much? Glorifying a fatass? Methinks not. I cannot fathom this NOT working out.

(Just stay the fuck away from my man, C-Pav).
------------------------------------------------------------------

On a completely unrelated "BTW" note directed to my fellow wrestling fans, I implore y'all to take a brief moment off from creating CC Sabathia fansites (oh, that's just me?) and check out Paul Heyman's site www.heymanhustle.com - even though WWE's been marginally less cheesey lately (Randy Orton is pure evil and I'm 100% in on HHH's justifiable rage), nothing beats the genius of Paul E. Plus, he's a Yankees fan. BOOYAKA!

Gimme a D! Gimme an E! Gimme a Fense Who the Hell Needs Drills?!

2009-03-24T19:46:00.000-07:00

Time sure does fly when there's not a Yankees game to sit down and watch every night, doesn't it?

It's been a couple weeks since I last had a moment to stop by here and chit-chat, but not because there hasn't been anything about which I could blather. Quite the contrary! I had a fabulous time watching the WBC and even went to see the USA humiliate themselves against our superior Japanese brethren on Sunday evening, allowing myself to holler such foreign phrases as "GO D-WRIGHT!", "USA! USA!", and "YOU BLEW IT JETER!" After watching the games on TV and seeing the semi-final up close and personal (and by "up close and personal" I mean "far, far away in the upper deck"), I think it's fair to say that the WBC has highlighted a fundamental truth that has been overlooked in the MLB lately:

DEFENSE IS IMPORTANT. ERRORS COUNT.

The Domincan Republic, Venezuela, China, and the USA all lost huge games thanks to lazy and sloppy defense, while teams like Japan and Korea cruised past their competition with seamless, textbook play in the field. When Team Japan was in the field, you could just about guarantee that any ground ball hit to the infield was going to result in an out - no need to fear the bobble or wayward throw. The half-assed fielding efforts displayed by the likes of Dunn (not entirely his fault; what was he doing in right field anyway?!) and even our dear Jeet offered no such assurances.

I'm sure that defensive drills are boring as hell, and there's nothing overtly sexy about watching a game packed with tight defense (we don't cheer for defensive feats with quite the same gusto as we cheer a home run... unless a player dives into the stands, I suppose). Everyone loves a stolen base or a stand-up triple, but the results of the WBC make it clear that defense is important too.

Let's hope Jeter brings that message back to Tampa.

What Do YOU Do After Waking up From Surgery?

2009-03-10T17:37:00.000-07:00

Say what you want about A-Rod's cheating, sensitivity, obsession with the Jeet, choice of company, or taste in women, but I'll be damned if anyone derides his dedication to the game.

Just hours after undergoing an 80-minute procedure to fix his torn labrum and repair his hip cyst (delicious!), A-Rod was out of bed and back on the stationary bike. Most folks would be laying in bed groggily eating McFlurry's for at least a day or two after surgery, but not A-Rod: he was eager to shave a few minutes off the estimated 6-9 week-long rehab process he has in front of him. Luckily for the team, almost four of those weeks are essentially freebies we're still in Spring Training!

While it's unfortunate that he'll miss April with the team, I am very happy he opted to get the surgery now rather than "hope" he could make it through the season with a bum hip. If he had decided to put it off, we would have had to worry about losing him at a much more crucial juncture and really being screwed. I'll take my chances with A-Rod in the playoffs.

YC is ALWAYS Wrong

2009-03-05T16:40:00.000-08:00

When discussing A-Rod's hip cyst yesterday evening, I made a bold assertion that the dear man was surely not injured too seriously and that the Yanks were likely just looking for an excuse to keep him from playing in the WBC:

There's clearly nothing for us to worry about - he'll be fine - but the Yanks could probably make a case for asking him to sit out.

Unfortunately, unless the Big Stein hates the WBC so much that he'd prefer to have A-Rod undergo painful medical procedures and extensive rehabilitation than participate in the tourney, A-Rod is not fine. It turns out that in addition to that cyst on his hip, he's also got a tear in his labrum (which, in case you're not a hip doctor, is the fibrous ring of cartilage attached to the rim of the joint). The cyst was drained (delicious!), but there's only one way a torn labrum can be repared: surgery. The worst part? The recovery takes about 4 months.

While the only way to fix the tear is to go under the knife, it's apparently not a completely debilitating injury and he may try to hold off on surgery. The Cash Man is hoping that A-Rod can wait until after this season, but admits that if he isn't able to perform at full capacity then they might have to reconsider that timeline. In the meantime, A-Rod is definitely NOT going to play with the Dominican in the WBC. He'll spend the rest of the spring working out (carefully) and preparing for the season as planned, keeping a close eye on that hip and hoping for the best.

Since he's been playing and producing just fine thus far this spring, it's certainly possible that A-Rod could wait a while to get the surgery... but six months of playing actual games against the lies of the Red Sox, Angels, Rays, et al is a far cry from shagging a few balls at Spring Training, and I have a bad feeling we'll be seeing Cody Ransom at third sooner rather than later.

By the way, just to recap: thus far the highlights of A-Rod's year have included getting dumped by Madonna for a model, Joe Torre announcing to the world that he's a wimpy loser obsessed with the Jeet, a steroid scandal, and a serious injury.

And it's only March.

A Hip Cyst? Who Do You Think You Are - Pavano?

2009-03-04T18:09:00.000-08:00

The latest chapter of the tortuous saga that has become A-Rod's life involves a possible removal from the Dominican Republic's WBC roster, thanks to an injury right out of the Carl Pavano annals. It was revealed earlier this week that A-Rod has been playing with a cyst on his right hip, that, while not causing any pain, has necessitated a trip to a specialist (say "cyst specialist" five times fast.... go!). The results from the doctor visit have yet to be divulged, but all signs are pointing to the Yanks asking A-Rod to withdraw from the WBC so that he can preserve his hip strength for the Yankees.

I'm no Cyst Specialist, but it seems pretty clear to me that he's likely just fine and the Yankees are looking for an excuse to keep him out of the tourney. Girardi and the Cash Man have no love for the WBC and would obviously prefer to keep their players in Tampa to avoid getting hurt or just plain tired before the season even starts, so I'm sure they'd be more than happy to blow a minor issue out of proportion to take advantage of it. And it's obviously NOT a major issue - he's been playing with no pain (just slight "stiffness") and the team physician specifically told the Yanks that A-Rod COULD play through it. There's clearly nothing for us to worry about - he'll be fine - but the Yanks could probably make a case for asking him to sit out.

Perhaps 'twould be all for the best. The further away he gets from the watchful eye of the Yankees, the more trouble he gets himself into.

THIS is Why I love the WBC

2009-03-03T17:11:00.000-08:00

Honestly dudes, how can anyone not like the sideshow that is the WBC?! The rosters include everyone from Bernie to Sidney Freakin' Ponson (seriously), Rollins and Wright are kissing each other's asses, and the Jeet got the opportunity to score against the Yanks - would you really rather be watching Spring Training?

The USA team beat the Yanks today, thanks in part to Jeter's 9 innings in the field, 2 hits, and 2 RBI. It was hilarious and slightly creepy to see him go up against Hughsie (who looked good again, BTW) and seeing him smiling and chatting with Dustin Pedroia filled me with an oddly reassuring cumbaya-esque sensation. We Are The World, Peace on Earth, etc etc.

The Yanks have actually had quite a few of those tender moments this spring, what with all the A-Rod hugging and billiards tourneys. Perhaps the days of the robotic, going-through-the-motions style of play is finally coming to a close for the Bombers?

B.Q.E. o' the Week: Svengali

2009-02-28T08:13:00.000-08:00

What is it about Scott Boras that seemingly hypnotizes otherwise sane people into behaving as if he and his clients are eligible for some sort of special treatment the rest of the world shall never receive?

He's pulled a number of stunts over the years that made me cringe, but what really makes my blood boil is the ludicrous responses he manages to illicit out of club owners and management as a result of these antics! After his and Manny's latest refusal of yet another unnecessarily generous contract offer from the Dodgers, while the rest of us were rolling our eyes and mocking Manny, Dodgers owner Frank McCourt had this to say:

We love Manny Ramirez. And we want Manny back, but we feel we are negotiating against ourselves. When his agent finds those ‘serious offers’ from other clubs, we’ll be happy to re-start the negotiations.

Um... really? I do appreciate the little sarcastic jab he tossed in there directed right at Boras ("suuuuuuure buddy, you just let us know when you find those other offers, *cough* LIAR *cough"), but why is he still drooling over Manny? If he doesn't really believe that Boras has any other offers out there - and I am with him on that one - then why are you falling all over yourself to proclaim your love for that jackass?!

Idiots, all around.

Better to Hit Them Before They Hit Your Pitch

2009-02-26T19:13:00.000-08:00

The Yanks won their second ST game this afternoon, thanks in large part to Jorgie Porgie's homer and RBI dub. My sympathetic shoulder pain is subsiding with each successful Jorgie at-bat and I'm feeling very optimistic about his role on the team this year. He wasn't catching yet, of course, but he'll get there. At least his swing is working.

My main concern for today's game, though, was Hughsie. In his short time on the major league roster he admittedly hasn't given us much reason to expect greatness out of him, but I'm not giving up yet. He's only 22 and wowed everyone who saw him in the minors, and I think there's plenty of time left for him to get it together and contribute to the team. Now that the Yanks have added CC and AJ to the roster, Hughes's success is not quite as crucial as it was last year (it was both unwise and unfair [and cheap] for the Yankees to expect Hughsie and IPK to fit right into the rotation last year - did we really think that was going to work out perfectly?! Man we're stupid) but he could certainly be a vital part of the rotation at some point.

So how'd he do today? Well... the good news is that he pitched two hitless/scoreless innings! He threw 33 pitches and 22 of them were strikes. Unfortunately, he somehow managed to hit two of the first three Rays he faced. Never mind, though - still a positive outing overall and Girardi thought he did well for his first time out.

IPK tomorrow! Yeah, I'm still holding out hope for him too.

A Good Omen from A-Rod and a Strong Message for the Melk Man

2009-02-25T18:56:00.000-08:00

Ladies and gentledudes, baseball is finally here!!!

The Yanks kicked off the 2009 pre-season with a game against the Jays today, and they started things off with style with a 6-1 win. 18 guys combined for 11 hits, and both Brett Gardner and A-Rod hit homers in their respective first at-bats. The Ro(i)dster really soothed my worried soul today by proving he can set aside all the dramz and focus in on the game despite the awkward cloud of tsk-tsking that follows him everywhere he goes (although I must offer a pro-tip to my dear A-Rod: once you point your finger at someone as your drug-smuggling juice provider, you might want to avoid being seen in public with him for at least a couple weeks). Let's hope that emotional strength stays with him once he has to face the real world in New York.

As for Gardner, his home run made it perfectly clear that he has every intention of earning himself that centerfield gig. Pack your bags, Melky...

Up next? Hughsie is starting tomorrow. I'm giddy with nerves. Can you believe I'm still holding out a smidgen of hope for the kid?

Holy HELL I Hate it When...

2009-02-24T17:35:00.000-08:00

...people get all up in arms about players participating in the WBC.

Don't get me wrong - I didn't just fall off the ol' turnip truck, I understand that there is a real risk of injury that comes with playing in the tournament. But the WBC is a unique experience that any player should be thrilled to be a part of and it's no wonder so many of them do anything they can to get on their country's roster. This is an opportunity to play on a world stage, against the best of the best from all corners of the Earth (believe it or not, the USA is not the only country in the world and MLB players are not the only guys that can play baseball). While it may sound cheese-tastic there's no denying the fact that there's something special about seeing all these different countries uniting to show off their skills. Plus, the players play with passion and heart, having fun in a way we don't see often enough - particularly as Yankees fans!

The rosters were announced this evening, and several Yanks (and Bernie!) are playing for a wide variety of teams:

Cano, Robinson DOM
Cervelli, Francisco ITA
Jeter, Derek USA
Liu, Kai CHN
Marte, Damaso DOM
Ramirez, Edwar DOM
Rodriguez, Alex DOM
Vazquez, Jorge MEX
Veras, Jose DOM
Zhang, Zhenwang CHN

Of course it would crush me to see my dear A-Roid or the Jeet get injured, and I certainly understand why guys like AJ Burnett would choose to opt out of the Classic in favor of the tried-and-true ST regimine. For those that want to play, though, they deserve our support! I'm looking at you, Girardi - quit your bitching, buy a WBC hat, and get in the spirit.

After One Whole Week of Workouts, Who DOESN'T Need a Break?

2009-02-23T17:26:00.000-08:00

The weather in Tampa was perfect for baseball, but Joe Girardi decided his team needed to do something more important than practice their athletic skills today. Instead of suiting up for some drills, Girardi packed the boys onto a bus and shuttled them over to a local billiards hall. The guys spent the day playing two 8-ball tournaments (Mo and Phil Coke won the first one, and then Mo went on to win the second with Dandy Andy!), playing cards, and shooting darts.

It sounded a tad on the silly side at first (workouts just started - there's no way you're burned out yet!), but after hearing what the players had to say about the experience, I think Girardi was really onto something. For the past few years, the Yankees have really been lacking any semblence of the "fun" factor. Regardless of how good their lineup was, they never looked like they were enjoying themselves, much less each other. With the exception of Cano and Melky dancing around and the occassional Shelley Duncan arm-breaker of a high-five, the usual vibe on the bench stayed well within the "stoic" range. Having the best talent is obviously important, but if none of the guys cares about anyone but themselves it's hard to put the pieces together.

Much as I hate to admit it, why the hell else did the Red Sox win in 2004? They were no better than the Yankees when you compare each position, but those idiots loved each other and were having the time of their lives. The Yankees were just going through the motions and that only got them so far.

So my vote is for more days like today. It gave everyone a chance to relax, but also the opportunity to get to know each other as human beings rather than just "that guy I work out with", particularly since there are so many new faces this year. Mark TexMex said it was the most fun he's ever had in Spring Training, and Damon said it made him want to work even harder for Girardi tomorrow. There's zero doubt that the Yankees are going to have one of the most talented lineups in the league this year - we can count on that. If they can play like they truly want to be out there with each other and not just to earn their salary or pad their personal stats, then we'll really have something.

Bern, Bernie, Bern! Your Dreams of a Comeback, That is.

2009-02-20T19:24:00.000-08:00

From the "give it up already, dude" file:

Bernie hasn't been on a major league roster since the final game of the 2006 season (AKA "The Year the Yankees Coughed it up to the Tigers and Ruined My Weekend in Vegas"), but he is not content to bask in our adoration and enjoy his twilight years. Despite there being no signs of any interest in him as a player from any team (much less the Yanks), Bernie has yet to retire and has even said he may never do so.

After almost two years of living the recluse life (and by that I mean he was harboring a grudge against the Cash Man for choosing sensibility over sentimentality), Bernie made his triumphant return to New York last September when the Yanks bid adieu to the old stadium, looking the whole time like he was half a second away from trapping Damon in a closet, stealing his jersey and taking the field in his place. Apparently jogging around the infield that night only served to further convince him that he is still capable of playing. Since then he's signed on to play for Puerto Rico in this Spring's WBC, and this week he's down in Tampa working out with his old crew and even hit some pitches off the Wangster.

It's pretty obvious to me that there is virtually zero chance of Bernie ever playing in the MLB again, but I hope someone has (gently, perhaps with a Torre-supplied pat on the back) relayed that information to the man himself. His refusal to retire is a tad on the pathetic side and leaves everyone in limbo - how can your number be retired if you're pretending to be a viable active player? I'm crossing my fingers that his WBC experience will serve as a lovely and fulfilling last hurrah and he can finally bow out with some dignity.

Watching Rickey Henderson play on the Surf Dawgs was a little bit sad. Let's not repeat that.

Actual Baseball Discussion!

2009-02-19T14:14:00.000-08:00

After the initial SI article, sit-down with Gammons, tear-filled press conference, and the media's apparent need to solicit the opinion of every human who has ever touched a baseball or seen a game, I've reached my limit on the A-Rod Juicing Spectacular. Enough is enough. Everyone can make their own decision whether they love and support him or want to put a little syringe next to his name in the record books or think every statistic compiled since approximately 1972 should be ignored. All I want is to see the dude in a freakin World Series.

Luckily for me (and A-Rod), there ARE other things to discuss! The whole crew has arrived in Tampa and they've been working out together for a couple days now, and the first Spring Training game is just 5 days away. The lineups can fluctuate like crazy during ST games as Girardi tries to give all the guys play time - remember, the ST rosters are much larger than they'll be in the regular season - so we'll be seeing a lot of different combinations of lineups over the next few weeks. For the "everyday dudes" who have their spots secured (Jeter, Matsui, Posada, A-Rod, et al) ST is for working out and getting back into the groove, but there are a lot of guys who will be using these games as an audition of sorts.

One dude that's got a lot to prove over the coming weeks is our dear Melk Man. As I noted a couple weeks ago, the Yanks have a surplus of outfielders on the roster. With the addition of Nick Swisher this winter we're up to 6 (and I'm not counting dudes like Austin Jackson who are on the ST roster but realistically have zero chance of being on the list on opening day), and four of them are centerfielders:

Johnny Damon
Brett Gardner
Nick Swisher
Melky Cabrera

Damon will obviously be on the roster no matter how his spring goes, but he won't be in centerfield every day (we hope). Instead, the Yanks will be using either Gardner, Swisher, or Melky to play while Damon is DHing. Swisher is considered an option for centerfield - he's played 131 games there over five seasons - but it seems more likely that it will come down to Gardner vs Melky.

Melky has earned himself a lot of supporters over the past few years thanks to some flashy catches and admittedly fabulous dance moves, but after last year's underwhelming performance he's far from a lock for an everyday job. He has more major league experience and a better arm than Gardner, but the Cash Man and Girardi have taken a shine to the "gritty" Gardner and made it clear that he is being considered for the job. They will both be given plenty of opportunities to prove themselves worthy before opening day, but it's Melky who really has something to prove. He set himself up for great expectations after fitting in so well in 2006, but has really let his performance slide since then. If he doesn't impress during Spring Training, he may be out of chances (and Cano would have to find someone else to carpool with).

Who would you put out there?

The Yanks are all BFF, Seriously. Wait, Where's Jorgie?

2009-02-17T17:05:00.000-08:00

A-Rod continued his Groveling Tour 2009 today by holding a press conference down in Tampa, and this time he had a posse with him. Just about every Yank on the roster showed up, as did much of the staff, including Girardi, the Cash Man, and many of A-Rod's coaches. While A-Rod "explained" his actions (give the guy a break, who among us wouldn't allow our cousin to inject us with a mysterious substance? Come on, it's available over the counter in the Dominican! That means it's safe) and shed a tear or two, his teammates sat stoicly by his side, kindly reserving judgement for their dear, dear friend.

Oh, except for Posada, who got up and left in the middle of the soul-bearing session (in case you missed it: A-Rod is embarrassed and disappointed; repeat that sentiment 10,000 times if you'd like to recreate the press conference for yourself in your own brain) and didn't manage to make a return appearance. Without knowing the full story/his excuse, let's just pretend he ate some bad cheese at the pre-event luncheon and couldn't leave the bathroom. Certainly he wasn't just being a dick, right?

Actually... I don't even care where Jorgie ran off to or what the player's have to say about this latest apology. What's done is done, A-Rod clearly feels bad and he certainly won't be doing anything (that) stupid again. Please let this be the last leg of the Sorry-a-thon.

Can we get some baseball going now?

B.Q.E. o' the Week: Bring it, Bruney

2009-02-16T19:39:00.000-08:00

If you watch the MLB channel as incessantly as I do, you've likely realized that they apparently only have approximately three bumpers that they recycle during promos over and over and over and over (and over!) again all the live long day. Every hour for the past week or so we've been treated to Harold Reynolds telling us that the Yankees have bullpen issues and it's difficult for them to get to Mariano in the 9th.

Brian Bruney, who will likely do the set-up work for Mo fairly often in the coming season, took umbrage with that dig and had this to say in response:

I take that personally. I'll show him. See what he's saying mid-year when you're rolling. I want the 8th inning.

Granted, the Brunester said it jokingly and was on Hot Stove later to chat, but I hope he's fundamentally serious. Bruney is 26 and did really well for the brief time that he was healthy last year (he was out from late April all the way until August thanks to a bum foot), going 3-0 with a 1.73 ERA and one save in 31 relief appearances, and could be a big part of the 'pen if he stays healthy. I want to see him prove it to Reynolds and everyone else. With the exception of Mariano, the Yankee bullpen really has been all shades of pathetic over the past few seasons, and I would love to see Bruney "show him"!

Wilkin De La Who?

2009-02-13T17:11:00.000-08:00

Ready to cross out the number on your Mike Mussina jersey to Sharpie in the number of a current Yank? Never fear, Peter Abraham has provided us with the official Yankees Spring Training roster complete with each player's jersey number:

2 Derek Jeter INF
11 Brett Gardner OF
12 Cody Ransom INF
13 Alex Rodriguez INF
14 Angel Berroa INF
17 Shelley Duncan INF/OF
18 Johnny Damon OF
19 Kevin Cash C
20 Jorge Posada C
22 Xavier Nady OF
24 Robinson Cano INF
25 Mark Teixeira INF
26 Jose Molina C
27 Joe Girardi MGR
28 Melky Cabrera OF
29 Kei Igawa LHP
30 David Robertson RHP
31 Ian Kennedy RHP
33 Nick Swisher OF/INF
34 A.J. Burnett RHP
36 Edwar Ramirez RHP
38 Brian Bruney RHP
39 Dan Giese RHP
40 Chien-Ming Wang RHP
41 Jose Veras RHP
42 Mariano Rivera RHP
43 Damaso Marte LHP
45 Jason Johnson RHP
46 Andy Pettitte LHP
47 John Rodriguez OF
48 Phil Coke LHP
50 Mick Kelleher COACH
52 CC Sabathia LHP
54 Kevin Long COACH
55 Hideki Matsui OF
56 Tony Pena COACH
57 Mike Harkey COACH
58 Dave Eiland COACH
59 Rob Thomson COACH
60 Todd Linden OF
61 Sergio Mitre RHP
62 Joba Chamberlain RHP
63 Jonathan Albaladejo RHP
64 Andrew Brackman RHP
65 Phil Hughes RHP
66 J.B. Cox RHP
67 Anthony Claggett RHP
68 Wilkin De La Rosa LHP
70 Christian Garcia RHP
71 Eric Hacker RHP
72 Juan Miranda INF
73 Doug Bernier INF
74 Justin Leone INF
75 Francisco Cervelli C
76 Kevin Russo INF
77 Humberto Sanchez RHP
78 Mark Melancon RHP
79 Colin Curtis OF
80 Steven Jackson RHP
81 Kyle Anson C
82 Austin Jackson OF
83 Jesus Montero C
84 Austin Romine C
85 Michael Dunn LHP
86 P.J. Pilittere C
90 Ramiro Pena INF
91 Alfredo Aceves RHP
92 Eduardo Nunez INF
93 George Kontos RHP
94 Kanekoa Texeira RHP

Award yourself 10 points if you were able to read through the whole list without stopping to say "who?"

Obviously most of these no-names won't be making the team and actually wearing these numbers, but it's still a little funny to see all those high digits! Sub-40 numbers are a hot commodity at this point in Yankee history - some of these people should be demoted. Give Igawa #493B.

Notice that despite the Yanks' rude decision not to celebrate Torre during the farewell to the old stadium last year and his recent (painfully) brutally honest book, no one was given jersey #6, and Bernie's #51 is also apparently unofficially off-limits. Whether either number will ever be retired is up for argument, but I certainly wouldn't want to wear #6 or #51 if I were joining the team.

That reminds me... I've gotta say that despite all my hatred towards Manny, I liked his choice to wear #99 in LA last year. At this point that's actually way cooler and more memorable than being another 7, 25, 3, etc. Plus, no one can point at you and say "you aren't good enough to wear [insert legendary player name here]'s number!"

Wise move, Manny.

Remember That Catcher Dude We Have?

2009-02-12T17:34:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago, when I read that the Red Sox had agreed to give Varitek $5 million with a $5 million club option for 2010*, I actually cackled aloud. "Bobby Abreu can't find a job and this chump gets $5 mil?!"

Then I remembered that the Yankees have a similarly well-loved but aging catcher on their books, and they're paying him a hell of a lot more than that**, and I shut my trap.

In case you've forgotten, Jorge Posada scored himself quite the lucrative deal after his out-of-nowhere 2007 successes (.338/.426/.543), but we didn't see much of him last year. In 2008, the first of his 4-year deal, he played just 51 games thanks to a nagging shoulder injury that eventually resulted in surgery at the end of July. Jorgie performed decently in the few chances he had last year, hitting .268 with 3 homers, but he never had enough time to really warm up before or after the surgery. While he was gone, the catching position was a little bit of a disaster (fit right in with the rest of the team!), with Molina, Pudge, and Chad Moeller (remember?) trying to contribute what they could to the cause while we all wished that Posada would not only make a triumphant return but somehow duplicate what he did in 2007.

So what's going to happen this year? With each year that goes by since the 2000 win over the Mets, the desperation to win another World Series seems to expand exponentially. The mega signings of CC, Burnett, and Tex are really piling the pressure on for the team to succeed this year, and everyone knows that a World Series win (or at least appearance) would do wonders to improve A-Rod's legacy. A healthy, productive, reliable Jorge Posada is key to a successful 2009.

The good news is that Jorge has already arrived in Tampa to start preparing for Spring Training, and everyone - including Jorgie - is optimistic about his health. While only time will tell if he is fully healed from his surgery, there don't appear to be any lingering ill effects. He won't catch a ST game until the middle of March, and the plan for the season is to have him catch about 100-110 games and he'll spend the rest of his time sharing the DH spot with Matsui and Damon. It wouldn't be wise to expect him to hit .300 again, but if we could count on .270 with 20 homers, he'd be worth every penny of the $13 million the Yanks will be paying him this year.

*BTW: Varitek DECLINED arbitration that would have gotten him about $10 million in favor of filing for free agency, and this is what they were able to come up with. Has Boras lost his touch or his mind?

**BTW again: Jorge Posada is far better than Varitek.

Poll Time: Over it or Out on A-Ro(i)d?

2009-02-11T18:24:00.000-08:00

On Monday evening, fresh from watching A-Rod bare his soul (and alarmingly red eyes... he's either legitimately distraught about the scandal or been spending a little too much time with Michael Phelps), I mentioned that I was unsure as to the level to which I was going to be able to forgive and forget. On one hand, I've been defending and supporting the man for five years now, and I've forgiven players for worse transgressions that this - for some reason I still haven't soured on Clemens (sidenote: give it up already, Rocket); on the other, I held A-Rod to an incredibly high standard due to his sheer talent and was feeling a bit tricked. I've certainly withheld forgiveness for lesser transgressions (damn you, Bubba Crosby!).

A couple of days and a few insightful comments from you folks later, and I've come to terms with the past and I'm ready to move forward. A-Rod would have been a legendary player whether he took steroids or tattooed "straight edge" on his stomach; it's not as if I was fooled into thinking Bubba Crosby was Mickey Mantle. Steroids do not work magic (just ask Guillerma Mota), and A-Rod's successes, while perhaps a tad inflated, can largely be attributed to his natural talent and constant training. Of equal impact on my forgiving mood is the unfortunate but undeniable truth that PED's were being used by everyone from top sluggers (Bonds, Sosa, et al) to idiots who were never going to be stars no matter how many chemical variants they injected into their bums (I'm looking at you, Felix Heredia). Jim Kaat was on the MLB channel the other night discussing the news with Matty and the gang and summed it up perfectly when he said that the bottom line is that every player wants an edge, and that's what people were using to get an edge at that time. That doesn't make it right, but it also wouldn't be right to hold A-Rod at a higher standard than we held spitball throwers or gamblers or greenie-users or cokeheads (the MLB has celebrated some real winners over the years) - especially after he apologized.

Plus... at least he's not doing it anymore.

So I've made my decision. I'm on Team A-Rod and you shan't hear another disparaging remark from me about him on this issue (barring a new report showing he cannibalized babies as part of his steroid regimine). Are you with me?

A-Rod is Guilty... of a Lot of Things

2009-02-09T17:35:00.000-08:00

After 48 hours of hiding/panicking/praying to his Jeter shrine, A-Rod took to the airwaves today to publicly address the steroid allegations that surfaced over the weekend. Some sort of comment on the issue was imminent - "talk to the Players Union" can't fly for long, especially with Spring Training just days away - but I actually wasn't expecting the mea culpa to come so soon (perhaps he saw me apologize to Jose Canseco earlier today and was inspired?). I suppose he decided to rev up the Damage Control Train sooner rather than later, and sat down with ESPN nice guy Peter Gammons this afternoon.

Gammons may have the well-deserved reputation of being a genuinely friendly guy, but he didn't go easy on A-Rod. There was no friendly small talk in this sit-down: Gammons went straight for the obvious questions and got A-Rod to not only admit to using steroids but to divulge some of the details behind his actions. A-Rod first confirmed that he had indeed used performance enhancing drugs throughout his tenure in Texas (2001-2003), a much longer time than I would have guessed. Since hearing the news on Saturday, I had somehow assuaged my disappointment by convincing myself while the allegations were probably true, perhaps it was a one-time or short-lived experimentation with the juice; it honestly hadn't really occured to me that this may have been an ongoing indescretion. Unfortunately, I was wrong (again!), as A-Rod told Gammons that he first began using the drugs when he got to Texas in 2001 thanks the immense amount of pressure he felt he was under:

"When I arrived in Texas in 2001, I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I felt like I had all the weight of the world on top of me, and I needed to perform -- and perform at a high level -- every day."

He apologized repeatedly, of course, and proclaimed that he's been drug-free ever since (it is true that a pre-WBC drug test in 2006 came up clean). He said he's since proved to himself that he doesn't need any drugs to be a great player, and even said he felt "proud" of himself for coming clean (6 years later) and wants to show kids that honesty is the best policy (6 years later).

He went on to explain that he fell into the "everybody is doing it" trap and attempted to play up his naivety at the time:

"It was such a loosey-goosey era; I'm guilty for a lot of things. I'm guilty of being negligent, naïve, not asking all the right questions. To be quite honest, I don't know exactly what substance I was guilty of using."

Normally I would scoff here and roll my eyes at the thought that a person could be dumb enough to not know what drugs he was cheating with, but I'd say there's a decent chance A-Rod was oblivious to the specifics at the time. He's not a very smart guy, folks.

By the time the interview was over, A-Rod had apologized and made it clear that it hadn't happened since 2003 and wouldn't happen again. He seemed sincere and remorseful, actually coming across more pitiful than cheater. I almost felt bad for him.

But then I realized that he'd cheated for three years, then lied about it for six. I honestly have not yet been able to determine whether I can forgive and forget. There's no doubt that A-Rod, like Bonds, would be amazing with or without the steroids, so my opinion of him as a talented athlete has not actually changed. In fact, if it had been a matter of ONE season of usage, I think I could chalk it up to the era and the pressure and I'd be over it. It's the fact that it went on for three seasons that has me hesitant to say what I planned on writing once he apologized, which was something along the lines of "let's give A-Rod the same courtesy we gave Pettitte and forgive him, focus on what he's accomplished without the steroids, blah blah blah."

Not yet.

Yankeeschickography: NEVER Doubt Canseco

2009-02-09T00:11:00.000-08:00

Remember that Yankeeschicography I posted last year where I called Jose Canseco a liar for claiming to have proof that A-Rod took steroids?

I guess I owe him an apology, don't I.

Today's vid will take care of that. Now if only A-Rod would apologize to US...

Let's Take it to the Airwaves...

2009-02-08T15:39:00.001-08:00

NY Baseball Digest is being kind enough to have me on their show this evening to ~~berate me for my years of support of A-Rod~~ discuss my feelings on that little A-Rod issue.

Show starts at 7pm EST, I'll be on around 7:30. Click the link below to enjoy!

A-Roid

2009-02-07T17:59:00.000-08:00

Everybody, remain calm. In the face of disaster, it's best to try not to panic.

I am speaking, of course, of the latest chapter in the tale of A-Rod's "Long and Awkward Journey to Complete Mental Breakdown." This morning Sports Illustrated reported that four sources who had been a part of the (supposedly) anonymous MLB drug testing in 2003 had independently confirmed that A-Rod was among the 104 players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs during the survey. And we ain't talking about a little HGH to heal from an injury (not that I condone that either, Pettitte): he tested positive for testosterone and an anabolic steroid called Primobolan.

The 2003 survey was done under conditions of anonymity with no threat of punishment; the goal was to determine whether the MLB needed to put a strict testing-and-penalty program into effect. After finding that 104 players - about 5% of the MLB - were using banned substances, such a policy went into effect in 2004. The identities of the 104 Cheatie McCheatersons were supposed to remain classified with the lab that performed the tests, but the results were seized by federal agents in April 2004 during the BALCO investigation* (don't get confused, though: A-Rod has never been linked to BALCO. Yet.). One of the drugs allegedly found in A-Rod's peepee was Primobolan, which was very popular in 2003 largely because players didn't have to take it for as long as others and it was detectable in the system for less time.

In case you don't recall, the 2003 season was a good one for A-Rod. He won his 3rd straight AL home run title (with 47) and his first (of 3) MVP awards, and convinced the Yanks they must have him. It was a truly impressive year, but I have a feeling A-Rod might not be looking back on it as fondly now that he knows that WE know what HE KNEW.

Get that?

Since the MLB implemented the new testing and punishment system in 2004, A-Rod has never tested positive and has never really been thought of as one of the many juicers in his era. In fact, quite the opposite: he was often looked at as the au natural super-player who was going to rescue baseball's records and dignity from the clutches of Bonds et al. I know I certainly felt a little better about Bonds breaking the all-time home run record last year because I "knew" that A-Rod would be setting the "real" record in a few years. The Yankees were also pretty jazzed on the idea of ensuring that all those records were enshrined in pinstripes when they created A-Rod's new contract in 2007; it contains clauses that allow him to earn a $6 million bonus each time he ties one of the four players at the top of the list and an additional $6 million for eventually passing Bonds. Whether people loved him or hated him, regardless of what he did or didn't do in the playoffs, or how much he stalked the Jeet, it was pretty much agreed upon in the sports world that A-Rod was the hardest working talent in the game and was destined to prove that all those feats the juicers accomplished COULD be done with raw talent and batting practice.

In response to the allegations, A-Rod advised reporters to talk to the Players Union. I'd advise A-Rod to get on the horn with his manager and start working on two things: a) a public apology, and b) a lawsuit against whoever leaked the now non-anonymous (ymous? nonymous?) test results. Both are of vital importance at this juncture: an honest apology complete with some tears and well-rehearsed remorseful facial expressions could salvage an ounce or two of dignity and maybe a few forgiving fans (I know I for one am a forgiving gal), and the lawsuit because the offending test results were promised to be confidential - such was the agreement between the MLB and the Players Union when A-Rod consented to the test. He might as well profit off this gossip as "well, he has a lot of money" might wind up being the only thing he'll have going for him in a few years.

* It's all Barry Bonds' fault

B.Q.E. o' the Week: Cuz He Didn't Feel Bad Enough Already

2009-02-06T18:48:00.000-08:00

From the "10 Easy Ways to Emasculate and Humiliate a Man" file:

"Alex tried just so desperately to be that guy, all the time... I don't care how talented you are or how much money you make, this is Jeter's ballclub. I think what he tried to do was be close to Derek and to try to -- I don't want to say imitate him -- but just try to get a feel of what the personality is supposed to be on this ballclub."

Yes, that's Joe Torre, talking more smack about A-Rod. JT was on the MLB network today chatting up his new book The Yankee Years with Bob Costas and took the opportunity to dispel all the controversy surrounding his brutal honesty exposed in therein. Just kidding, he reiterated the fact that A-Rod is a pathetic chump with no personality (or dignity) of his own.

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE DEREK JETER.

Seriously?!

2009-02-05T18:40:00.001-08:00

As a baseball-loving gal lucky enough to work from home and hence have access to the TV whilst I work, the advent of the MLB channel has been particularly beneficial to me. I no longer have to make sure I stock up on DVR'd crime shows to watch in the afternoons when there is NOTHING on - channel 330 always has me covered. There's something about Matty Vasgergian's voice that is apparently conducive to coherent writing and solid productivity, as I swear to you I have gotten more work accomplished since the channel launched than I was able to complete in the previous six months combined.

Or perhaps it's the Adderall.

Crack?

Anyway, my point is that I love the new channel (although if they had shown the fucking 2004 ALCS just ONE more time back in late December when they were promoting the channel, my opinion might be different) and often keep it on in the background while I'm working. Such was the case today when, during the middle of a conference call, I see the words "Andruw Jones", "New York Yankees", "offer", "non-roster invitation", and "declined" scroll across the faithful news ticker.

The fuck?! I thought to myself as my coworkers fought about whether we should advertise a promotion as "through the end of February" or "while supplies last". Why the hell are the Yankees looking at more outfielders? And of all people, Andruw Jones? And really, Andruw? A minor league deal with a Spring Training invite is the best you can get these days? Wait, and if so, you turned it down? What, you think you're better than that? Seriously?

This guy?!

Unfortunately, as I mentioned, I was working and could not ponder the many things wrong with the scenario until now. I reminded myself to revisit it later and directed my focus back to work (I went with "As a special promotion from now through February 28..." for the article, in case you were wondering).

I'm finally done with work and able to sit down and contemplate this ridiculous story, and I am no closer to figuring out why any part of this happened than I was 5 hours ago. Let's review:

The Yankees are really still looking for outfielders? There are currently SIX outfielders on the roster and last time I checked there are only three outfielding positions. You're telling me that between Matsui, Damon, Melky, Gardener, Swisher, and Nady, WE ARE STILL LOOKING?
The Yankees are really still looking for outfielders and thought ANDRUW JONES might be superior to any one of those six?! Yes, Matsui will be mainly in the DH spot, and none of the other 5 are particularly stellar, but does anyone genuinely think that ANDRUW JONES is going to outperform Nady or Swisher? What's the plan here, are the Yankees just going to sign every able-bodied outfielder they can and then draw names on Opening Day?
Did the Cash Man forget what year it was? Let me remind you: it's 2009, and Andruw not only STILL hasn't figured out how to spell his name but he is really, truly awful. I cannot think of one thing he would bring to the table that any one of the other idiots we have could not.
A non-roster invitation is the best Boras could drum up for Jones? Holy smokes the economy is hitting MLB hard. Sure, he sucks, but players like him get signed all the time.
...and then he turned it down?! Seriously? Allow me to speak directly to Boras: what sort of deal do you think you're going to drum up for this client of yours if not a minor-league contract? You do realize that we're talking about a man who batted .158 with three home runs and 14 RBIs in 75 games last season, right?
Remember when the Yankees valued Melky so much they were hesitant to include him in a trade package for Johan Santana? And now we think Andruw Jones might do a better job? The poor Melkster has fallen quite a ways in the eyes of the Cash Man over the past 18 months or so.
Yikes, what if he had said YES to the invitation and then made the roster!?

There is nothing about this story that makes sense, and I'm disgusted by the whole thing. There was no point in the Yankees making the offer in the first place and Boras had no business turning it down. I'm alternately insulted by the Yankees for wasting my time and then by Boras and Jones for thinking they're worth more. And the worst part is, simply by offering this deal to Andruw Jones the Yanks are effectively telling the world that they're still on the hunt for more interchangable, horrible outfielders!

No offense to you personally, Damon/Melky/Gardener/Nady/Swisher/Jones.

Because The Yankees Needed ANOTHER Outfielder...

2009-02-04T19:07:00.000-08:00

The Yanks got an outfielder from the Brewers today, and sorry, it's not Mike Cameron. The Yanks picked up catcher/outfielder Eric Fryer from the Brewers' minor league system in exchange for Chase Wright, better known as "that poor sap the Yankees made start at Fenway in 2007 when some perfect storm of FAIL made every other viable option unavailable and then became only the second pitcher in MLB HISTORY to give up 4 homers in a row".

And.... cry.

The real value of the trade is arguably never having to see that expression of shattered dreams again, but let's take a closer look at our latest acquisition anyway. Fryer gets bonus points for being both a viable catcher and outfielder - he played 55 games in left field and 39 games behind the plate last year - and in his 104 total games for the Class A West Virginia Power he hit .335 (129-for-385). He actually led his team in several key batting categories, including average and OPS (and was second in OBP) and stole 15 bases along the way - not bad for a half-catcher!

Unfortunately, he also made 14 errors in the field. Perhaps his questionable defensive value helped the Brewers overlook one of those 4 consecutive homers Chase gave up when they were considering the parity of the deal.

Fryer will be starting the season in Class A Tampa for the Yanks, but with the way the Yanks have been burning through outfielders these last couple years I won't be surprised if he makes an appearance sooner rather than later.

AJ Hits the Jackpot!

2009-02-03T18:59:00.000-08:00

As I assured you on Sunday, despite my excessive reprieve from blogging over the past few months I most certainly was not asleep on the job - nay, I've been silently obsessing over all the haps in the baseball world all along. Now I simply must catch up.

Obviously the biggest maneuver the Yanks pulled off whilst I was AWOL was the signing of CC "Pinstripes are Slimming" Sabathia, a move that singularly improved the 2009 rotation from "seriously, this is the best you could do?" to "oh yeah, you guys are the Yankees!". At a bare minimum Double C should provide the team with more innings than Pavano managed to scrape himself together for in 4 seasons combined (145.6, or approximately 5 innings per injury sustained, or 145.6 innings per teammate that liked him*) and will likely do much better than that. He hasn't had an ERA over 3.22 since 2005 or a WHIP over 1.3 since 2004, and he hasn't been slacking off: he pitched over 240 innings in each of the last two years and has never appeared in fewer than 28 games in a season (his 8-season average is 34 games per season). Better yet, he's still a relative youngster at 28. Eight years of primarily healthy, 3.66 ERA pitching and you're not even 30? Here you go sir, this is a bag full of money, please come wear our jersey and stand on our mound.

Minutes after receiving sack of money: king of the world

Of course, with that sack o' millions comes another sack full of expectations and pressure (now available in sack form!). Baseball fans do not forget about those dollar signs, and while not as bad as those fools in Beantown (Nancy Drew? Seriously?), Yanks fans are not the most patient folk. Just ask Pavano.** Double C is going to be expected to do as well as - if not better than, thanks to the sheer size of the contract - he performed over the past few years, and there isn't going to be much room for adjustment. He's been known to start a little slow in April, and the fans have been known to have a little trouble being patient with slow starts. Add to that the fact that Slim pitched nearly as many innings in the second half of last year (130+) than C-Pav did in four motherfreakin years and we're looking at a pleasantly plump*** man whose stamina has been taxed beyond precedent with millions of fans just waiting to proclaim his contract a waste of money.

3 seconds after someone boos him for giving up two hits in a game

Have fun with that, Slim!

Then we have AJ Burnett. By lucking into getting signed at the same time as Sabathia, this fellow has essentially locked in a 58% discount on pressure. In normal people world, his 5-year $82+ million deal with the Yanks would be looked upon as a monumental investment (and potential risk) and henceforth subject him to perhaps more than his fair share of scrutiny. In the world of the 2009 New York Yankees, the deal is just a little insurance. His contract isn't even close to being the biggest on the team (A-Rod, Sabathia, Jeter and Teixeira will all be making more than him in 2009). Money aside, with Sabathia on the roster, AJ is certainly not the best starter on the team and will not be expected to be the anchor of the pitching staff. Unless he performs significantly worse than about a 4.00 ERA, fans will likely focus whatever frustration they have on the people they feel aren't doing "enough" - and money factors in hugely when calculating whether a player is doing "enough" (just ask A-Rod)****.

He knows exactly what he's getting away with

AJ is doubly fortunate in that he managed to score that contract in a year when very few players are getting 5-year deals OR $16 million/year, much less BOTH. There better be a bouqet of flowers (or tacos) in front of CC's locker signed "love, AJ" on opening day.

*Carl counts himself as a "teammate"
** I do not recommend this or any activity that places you in close proximity to this injury machine - you may be hit after he trips over a cookie crumb and smashes through a plate glass window.
***He's a fat man.
****Don't torture him.

Yankeeschickography: Let's Exploit A-Rod's Emotional Shortcomings!

2009-02-02T06:00:00.000-08:00

I told you I was back!

I mentioned yesterday that Joe Torre has a new book coming out, and it sounds like a doozy. I love Torre and admire his back-patting talent, but I'm not sure he made the right call in writing about some of this stuff...

And what dost thou think? Exploitation? Just the facts? Extra Xanax for A-Rod this season?

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's.... the Yankees Chick?!

2009-02-01T13:41:00.000-08:00

It's been many moons since last I performed any of my Yankees Chick duties, and for this I offer you my most Phelps-worthy apologies. I haven't been out on the Yankees and certainly haven't ceased following them, I simply ran out of hours in the day between work and school (and TV), and when I did have a brief moment during which I could have updated the bloggity there were so many things I'd missed to discuss that "catching up" started sounding like a chore.

Well, my love for the team and the enjoyment I get out of posting ugly pictures of players I hate won out over my love for sitting on my ass and watching crime shows, so I'm back! And not a moment too soon... the Yankees have been far from boring this off-season and there is no shortage of news both good and bad to chat about:

Yanks get CC, he gets a more slimming uniform.
AJ Burnett wins the jackpot... thanks to CC and Tex he gets to reap the benefits of a mega-deal and only be subjected to a fraction of the accompanying pressure.
Someone signed Pavano!!! On purpose!
We have a real first baseman! No offense to you personally, Giambi.
There are officially 107 outfielders on the roster.
No one wants to pick up any contracts this year. Owners should be thanking Bush for making the economy so shitty that it is no longer reasonable to sign a third-rate outfielder to a $10 million deal.
Torre is breaking my heart with this book. Granted, I haven't read it yet (someone wanna send me one? Torre? Autographed copy?), but I'm concerned that my amount of love for him may be diminished if what I have heard about it is accurate. A-Fraud?! Say it ain't so.
A-Rod, WHY are you playing for the Dominican in the WBC?! Do you not remember how irritated people were three years ago when you went back and forth about playing for them and the USA? You can't please everyone. You're not going to please everyone. Stop trying so hard.
We found out that it was MATT HARDY who'd been fucking with Jeff Hardy all along! The hotel attack! The hit and run! The PYRO EXPLOSION! IT WAS HIS OWN BROTHER!
Woops, wrong topic.
MLB Network! Good god I love it. It has improved my quality of life by a solid 1 percent.

Whew! Are you prepared for Yankees Chick to once again become an oft-updated blog? Will you put up with me?

Let's hope so. See you in the morning with...a VIDEO!

**ps: I even updated the poll and Fact o' the Day! DEDICATION.

GM Meetings Update!

2008-11-09T15:07:00.000-08:00

Nothing happened.

Zero.

Nary an interesting rumor came to light.

The waiting game for a big move - which we KNOW is on the way (at least one) - continues...

Pavano Goes the Way of the GOP: Who Will be the Pitcher-Elect?

2008-11-05T15:07:00.000-08:00

Get it? That's what's called "topical humor" in the comedy world. Of which I am not a part.

The illustrious Carl Pavano, who during his four years with the Yankees spent more time at the DL Resort and Casino than the rest of the organization combined - and that includes the oft-ailing Big Stein - will NOT be returning to the team in 2009. Rather than signing him up for another year of non-service to the tune of $13 mil, the team bought him out for a little under $2 million. That's right, Other 29: it's your lucky day! You can have him! Enjoy!

The sad thing is, with so many teams desperately needing pitching, C-Pav is guaranteed to get a deal somewhere. Fun!

So now that he's officially out, let's commence the discussion of who his rotation replacement(s) will be.

As of right now, there are SEVERAL open spots in the rotation. Moose is most likely not coming back, Pettitte's status is up in the air (although it sounds like he wants to return), and whether either Hughes or Kennedy will be worth the cost of laundering their jerseys remains to be seen - and the Cash Man has already said they'll be looking for not one man but two.

My pick, you ask? I'm rooting for another guy who just joined the FA market today: AJ Burnett. At first glance he's not quite as desirable as CC, BUT his asking price is going to be lower and he doesn't appear to be in danger of developing obesity-related diabetes any time soon. Also, as a veteran AL East-er we already know he can hack it against the competition that the Yankees face yearlong. He wouldn't be an ace, most likely, but he's a solid talent and would make a huge impact on the team.

Of course, he has his own history of a love for the DL Resort and Casino, which we must keep an eye on...

In fact, just typing that made me re-think my desire for him.

Thoughts?

BQE: Hank Goes Rogue

2008-11-03T18:52:00.000-08:00

If there's one thing the Hankster loves, its riling people up. And he knows how to do it:

“There’s nothing we are not looking at. And personally, I like Manny. He’s one of the greatest hitters in the history of the game. He’s a free spirit for sure, but he knows how to win. We like some of the other guys, too. We just don’t know yet.”

Does anyone ACTUALLY think this might happen?

The Umps! The Rain! AAAAAH!!!!

2008-10-29T09:38:00.000-07:00

I was a tad concerned that this World Series wouldn't interest me much - I like the Rays but I'm not all that invested in their success, and I'm pretty neutral about the Phillies. To my delight, the series has actually been quite riveting and I've enjoyed every moment of it!

I've got a couple gripes, though:

1) What is up with the umps?! I hate to knock those dudes because they are generally amazing and make the right calls (I can't even count the number of times I've hollered "what?! He was safe!" only to see that the ump was in fact right when they played the slow-mo replay for us), but there have been SEVERAL missed calls in the first four and a half games of the series. I understand the hesitation to utilize the available instant replay willy-nilly during the regular season, but I think that special provisions should be made for the World Series. Perhaps they could allow each manager a certain number of challenges? It seems like a waste to refuse to use the available technology during the most important games of the year.

2) What is up with the umps in the rain?! I have never seen a baseball game played in rain as hard as Monday. The pitchers' fastballs were only about 80% as fast as they're capable of throwing, and how the hell are batters expected to hit a ball so slick with water? Not to mention the risk of slipping and sliding all over the field (or on the on-deck circle a la Manny). WHAT WERE THEY WAITING FOR?! A hurricane? Dugout flood? Drowning of the shortest player on the field? Did they honestly think they were going to play 9 innings? It was obvious after an inning that the rain was WAY too outta control to get the game in. Tonight, since they ended on a tie the other night, they're basically playing a 4 inning game to decide whether the Phils win or if the Rays get another chance. That just doesn't seem right.

What dost thou think? Am I being ridic?

Consolation Prize, LETS GO RAYS, and A-Rod in His Panties

2008-10-26T14:51:00.000-07:00

Who needs a World Series ring when you can win a place on the Sporting News All-Star team? Not Jeter or A-Rod! I'm sure they're happy just to have received any honor at all, right?

No offense to the TSN. I'm sure all the honored players appreciate the shout-out and I image A-Rod and Jeet have both cleared off a space in their trophy rooms (both of which are larger than my home, I have no doubt) for their 12th and 9th respective TSN prizes. Do they get trophies? I might have made that up.

That said, it's time to refocus our attention on the HUGE game tonight, essentially a make or break contest for the Rays. If they lose, they COULD make up comeback, of course - no one that's watched them this year could put that past them - but who wants to have to rely on a game 4 win at the Phillies own stomping grounds? Judging by their year-long tradition of coming from behind, I'm anticipating a home run derby-esque game with Longoria putting the team up 3-1 in the 1st.

And before I sign off for the day, let's all have a good chuckle over A-Rod's latest endorsement deal with Guitar Hero (partially funded by The Boxer Brief Association of America):

Oh Yeah - We DO Have One Good Pitcher!

2008-10-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

Everyone is all up in arms about how badly we need starting pitchers for 2009, and while that is absolutely a true statement, we seem to be forgetting one star we already have: the Wangster! Remember him? Our best pitcher over the past couple years? The dude who won 19 games in both 2006 and 2007, and went 8-2 in the 15 games he started this year before getting injured running the bases in an interleague game (that seems like such a cruel fate, doesn't it?)?

Well guess what, chickadees? He's still alive and actually just about done with his rehab down in Tampa. He's been working out and practicing there for about a month now and today he'll throw his final bullpen session to round out his rehab experience. The docs have given him the go-ahead to spend his winter with the fam back in Taiwan and then he'll return to Arizona in January to start getting in shape for the spring!

It sounds like everything is going well and that he's all healed up from The Great Interleague Caper and subsequent surgery. If he returns to full form this year, the team's chances of redeeming themselves from the 2008 failures will greatly improve. Wang's starts are sure to be an improvement over his those of his replacements this year - Ponson and Rasner - and just a few more wins could make all the difference. It would have this year.

How Did I Miss This? I Love Criminal Activity Tales

2008-10-22T16:28:00.000-07:00

I don't know how this slipped through the cracks of my baseball reading, but Jobamania was arrested on suspicion of DUI this week! Scandal!

Not that surprising, though... how many 20-somethings show their stupidity by driving drunk? I can think of several off the top of my head - and that's just the ones related to me. Common or not, it's despicable behavior and I hope our dear boy learned his lesson. Girardi thinks he has:

“I have spoken to Joba and he made it very clear to me that he made a mistake. We certainly don’t condone his actions, but he is part of the Yankees family and I believe he learned a valuable lesson which he can grow from.”

Where's our statement from the man himself? I always like the mea culpas.

Now that he's been publicly outed as an idiot, let's hope he's returned to more wholesome activities:

PS: Pro-tip, Joba... if you're going to drive drunk, at least be smart enough to leave the open containers out of the car.

Happy Blogiversary to MEEEE!

2008-10-20T14:41:00.000-07:00

Three long years ago, after the Yankees lost to the Angels to end their season (I went to a couple of those sad games), I sat down in front of my computer and signed up with Blogger so that I could do some baseball blabbering. I estimated that my target audience consisted of my mom, the YCBF, and my super-sketchy boss at the time (he was a big fan of blogging... and scamming people). But lo and behold, it turned out that www.yankeeschick.com is super similar to www.mileycyrus.com and a bunch of fat-fingered pervos typed in my URL accidentally! Better yet, they stuck around. Thanks!

Much happened during these three occasionally glorious years. I've gone through periods of supreme dedication to the blog with daily updates to times where I've had to push it to the back burner (AKA now), but never have I abandoned it. I've both railed and rallied Pavano, rolled my eyes at A-Rod and then defended him to the world, shed a few tears, mocked a lot of people, and helped you all select nondenominational holiday presents. I've had a grand time writing, scouring the internets for unfortunate pictures of Red Sox, and even recording videos back in the olden times (BTW, the reason I don't do them anymore is because I moved my computer and there's no longer a good wall behind me... and I'm too lazy to move a big ol' iMac once a week. Next time I move I'll make sure I set it up by a wall, so long as it doesn't jack up the "flow" of the room).

It's been a learning experience, too. I didn't write very well when I started this puppy, and look at me now! My writing has advanced to a level unrivaled by sixth graders around the nation. I've gone through several moves, a few jobs, plenty of personal dramz and I've met some interesting peeps along the way. The blog has been an overwhelmingly positive influence in my life... and hopefully a positive influence over the lives I have set out to change, such as A-Rod. And you.

Thanks for hanging in there with me, munecas. Hope you're still here for year 4.

Be Devilish. I Beggest of Thou

2008-10-19T14:25:00.000-07:00

UPDATE 8:41pm PST: THE RAYS ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!!!! Who would have thunk it?! Congratulations!!!

I am more nervous about tonight's final ALCS game then I've been for any game all year - even all those make-or-break games the Yankees blew. If they hadn't been getting in the way of the Yankees post-season dreams I would have been secondarily rooting for those devilish Rays all year, so once the Yankees so gracefully extracted themselves from the playoff run I threw my support behind the underpaid youngsters. They breezed through the games with the White Sox and were handling the Sox for a few days there, but I think their inexperience came into the equation once they realized they were a heartbeat away from the World Series. Did they get too excited? Did the pressure start to way down on them? I don't know, but I hope Joe the Skipper sits them down for the best pep talk since Gipper Day tonight. My adoration of their Cinderella story and my perpetual burning desire to see the Red Sox retreat in humiliation have come together in my heart to create a longing for a Rays win comparable to the longing I felt during games 4-7 of the '04 ALCS.

So yeah... I've got some nerves rockin right now. Let's do a cheer I never anticipated doing: Gimme an R! (R!) Gimme an AYS! (AYS)!

On another note, Jeff Hardy lost to that that Russian guy who wears undies that look like they were purchased in 1973 and is EXACTLY what I imagine a militant 80's Soviet officer to look like on Friday. The hell?! They've been pushing Hardy on us for months, naturally leading me to anticipate an impending championship, and they pass on the opportunity to let him be the first person to beat Vladimir Stereotypicalrussiannameicantremember and boost his status even more? Now I'm nervous they don't have any plans to give him a title after all! If they make Big Show champion again before Hardy, I'll be sick. And I actually liked Big Show a lot before he became a bad guy, but he is such an unconvincing antagonist - his attempt at an "evil smile" actually make him look like a jovial fat man beaming at the birth of his first spawn - that I can't stand to watch him anymore. It's Hardy time.

OMG Celeb Dramz!

2008-10-15T16:19:00.000-07:00

In case anyone cares about the personal lives of old not-a-virgins and sensitive sluggers, let me and my good friend Perez Hilton inform you that Madonna and A-Rod are lovahs and that they've been seeing each other for a year already.

I hope this is not true, because I do not want to be subjected to shots of Madonna's uncomfortably muscular arms and botox face every time A-Rod is up to bat.

Go Home, Bobby! ROUND THIRD!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-14T14:46:00.000-07:00

Girardi, the Cash Man, and all the Steins promised there would be changes this off-season, and they weren't lying. It's too early to start kicking players to the curb and shelling out the dough for anyone deemed potentially heroic enough to put the team on his back and keep them out of Loser City in 2009, but there are plenty of other changes the boys can make while we wait for Teixeira to dry his tears (incurred, obv, by the ALDS).

The first soldier to get the dishonorably discharged today was none other a man whose shoulder had seemingly been operated on to replace bones with a motor, third base coach Bobby Meacham. I couldn't find the number of how many Yanks he got a little too zealous with and subsequently cost the Yanks an out at home, but believe me - it was a lot. There is no worse out to make than an out at home, and there is no reason that should happen if the bases aren't loaded. Assuming he has a vague idea of the zippiness of his player's running and the arm of the dude in the field, I really don't see any reason why this should happen more than MAYBE once. It was maddening.

Perhaps he just had too much faith in the team's speed. Usain Bolt they are not.

"Celebrity" Death Match Time

2008-10-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

A few short months ago, the YES Network introduced us all to one of the most maddeningly obnoxious commercials known to mankind, and to add insult to the mental injury sustained just by watching it, they played it over. And over. And over. AND OVER.

I am, of course, talking about Giuseppe Franco and his hair-boosting wonder tonic, Procede (which he DOES NOT OWN, let me assure you). The worst part of the commercial is the Francster's own hair! He has SO MUCH OF IT. I guess it indicates that the product may indeed live up to its claims, but there is such a concept as too much of a good thing. GF's hair is so voluminous it has left him with about half a centimeter of forehead real estate. One more Procede application and his hairline will merge with his brows.

Let's take a gander:

See what I'm saying here, folks? Do you see?! Could any commercial be more annoying?!

I'm sad to say that the answer to that question is a resounding YES.

Thanks to TBS, we have a new winner. We saw these commercials during the division series last year, but since I rarely watch TBS otherwise I had pretty much forgotten about the horror that is FRANK CALIENDO and his horrible, mediocre impressions. Who told him he was good at this? Putting on a wig does not transform you into Jack Nicolson. At all. And how about losing a few lbs? It might help. It's hard to convince me that you're Al Pacino.

Check him out:

I just realized that the commercials don't even tell us what the format of the show is. I guess it's just him standing in front of a wall doing "impressions" for a half hour? And we're supposed to watch it? I wouldn't even watch Darrell Hammond do impressions for 30 minutes, and he's good.

I suppose that's enough non-baseball biz for today. GO RAYS!

Pinstripes are Not a Performance Enhancing Drug

2008-10-10T17:15:00.000-07:00

I mentioned the other day in my Top Ten Tuesday/Wednesday/xDay posty that the Yankees don't have much in the way of cheap trade bait these days, and I meant it. Unless they're willing to trade big name proven talent like the Wangster or Matsui, there's just no way they're going to swindle themselves a deal for a top-tier player.

Judging by the latest "viral rumors" swirling around the WWW, there are a great deal of peeps that either have a different idea of the relative value of certain players or are some of the legions of delusional Yankees fans who hold onto a misguided belief that ANYONE who wears pinstripes is some sort of athletic god. The "rumor" of which I speak involves a trade between the Mets and the Yankees that would send Carlos Beltran to the Bronx in exchange for...

Robinson Cano, Jose Veras or Brian Bruney, Ian Kennedy, some other prospect and cash.

While I would certainly love to see this mystical trade occur, I am in the possession of a sound mind and henceforth can do nothing but roll my eyes at the idea. Carlos Beltran is an All-Star that ANY team would love to get their paws on. He is an OBP machine, provides Gold-Glove caliber defense, averages 30 homers a year, and steals bases - in other words, exactly what the Yankees could use. Who in their right mind gives him up for a second baseman coming off an utterly horrendous (insert Simon Cowell voice) year and a bunch of pitchers that have done next to nothing? NO ONE. If I were the Fred Wilpon I'd actually be a little insulted that anyone would think that I'd consider such a deal.

The fact of the matter is that, as I said two seconds ago, the Yankees don't have anyone that makes a team say "wow, I want that player so badly I'm willing to give away my 18-win starter!" And you can't just tag a few more losers onto a deal and expect it to make a difference. Two wrongs don't make a right, and two mediocre relievers don't make a Peavy.

Top Ten Tuesdays (AKA it's Wednesday, but I Haven't Done This in Forever So Just Be Happy it's Here at All): Let's Buy You

2008-10-08T09:59:00.000-07:00

First of all, this is the first time I've crafted up one of these lists since July 22nd. My apologies for my failure to actually keep up on a "weekly feature" (remember Sidenote Saturdays? Fail.) - I'll do better with TTT from now on.

That said, let's move on to the list!

After failing to make the playoffs for the first time since 1823, the Cash Man and the Steinbrothers have pledged to do anything they can to make sure their team doesn't suffer the same fate in 2009. Presumably, that means SPENDING MONEY LIKE ITS GOING OUT OF STYLE. They really don't have much to trade (don't be delusional, munecas - no sane team is going to trade a grade-A pitcher for some combination of Hughes, Melky, and I-Ken), so it's pretty much a given that "improving the team" is going to mean going after as many top free agents as they can get their grubby little rich hands on.

I've got no problem with that. Let's take a gander at the 10 free agents I'd most like to see in pinstripes! (BTW, you can check out a full list of the FA's HERE)

Top Ten YC Free Agent Picks*:
10) Bobby Abreu (he's been dependable throughout his time with the team)
9) The Moose (yes, he's old. But look at the year he had. Can he repeat it? Maybe not. But is it worth a shot if they can get him on the cheap? Sure.)
8) Jason Giambi (it's hard to say goodbye to 32 homers and a .373 OBP, even if his playing in the field is sub-par at best)
7) Trevor Hoffman (probs wouldn't want to be a set-up man, and probs doesn't want to leave San Diego [who would?]. But a Hoff-Mo duo would be sweet.)
6) Vladdy Guerrero (think of how different things would have been if Cash had gotten his way and he'd been signed instead of Sheff??)
5) Hideki Okajima (SOM [Save Our Mound])
4) Pudge Rodriguez (his brief time with the Yanks last year was unimpressive, but he's still a champ - and with no guarantee that Jorgie Porgie will be the same after his surgery, he could prove to be invaluable)
3) AJ Burnett (SOM)
2) Carsten Charles Sabathia (He's only #2 because he pitched a ridiculous 253 innings in the regular season and an additional 3.2 in the NLDS and its entirely possible that his arm has suffered a great deal of strain)
1) Mark Teixeira (that would not only give us 2 players with the letter X in their name, but arguably the best first baseman in the game. Sorry, Giambi.)

* Yes, I know some of these dudes have options on their contracts. I'm just saying that they'd be fine additions to the team. So simmer.

A Sad Day in Sports AND One of the Best Pictures I've Ever Seen

2008-10-06T12:05:00.000-07:00

Without the Yankees around to throw my support behind, I've had to refocus my attention on the Chargers (fail), Jeff Hardy (fail... and don't try to tell me he's not an athlete), and, oddly enough, the freakin' Dodgers. Yeah, that's how odd it is for me to not have the Yankees to cheer for - I've begun cheering for the Dodgers simply because Joe Torre and Mattingly are at the helm. It seems very wrong to care one hoot about the old enemy winning, but I find myself liking the team and the way they play. Sorry.

With my post-season choice intact, Saturday was a fine day. I was happy to see the Dodgers advance and even happier to win a bet with the YCBF that made him responsible for paying for Sunday night's No Mercy PPV. The Brewers won, too, which was nice because I really didn't think that the Phillies were all that much better than them - a sweep would have been a surprising bust for those poor fans (I feel bad for Cubs fans too, but didn't care quite as much since, like I said, I've been sacrilegiously supporting the Dodgers... but hot damn, talk about not fulfilling expectations).

So what the hell happened on Sunday? My whole sports world was turned upside down. First, the Chargers lost to the freakin DOLPHINS, whose 2007 record was, I believe, approximately 1-964. That was supposed to be a sure win, and they could barely get into the double digits (or the end zone). Come on!

Then the Angels and Red Sox started their game, and I found myself rooting with all my might for the godforsaked ANGELS. The thought alone is enough to make me want to vomit. Over the past couple years I have found myself hating the Angels just about as much as the Red Sox and heartily more than the Dodgers, thanks, of course, to the Yankees utter lack of ability to beat them, EVER. Yesterday, though, I realized once and for all that when it comes down to it, my hatred for the Red Sox apparently supersedes any hard feelings I have for The The Angels Angels of Anaheim. I MAY have emitted a "YESSSSS!" or two during the game. In favor of the Angels. I felt very ashamed and their win was little consolation. Can't they just both lose and let the Rays and ChiSox keep battling it out for another 7 games?

The worst part of the day came towards the end of that aforementioned WWE PPV, and while simply admitting that I not only WATCH professional wrestling but enjoy it enough to shell out $40 to watch 12 PPVs a year is pretty damn embarrassing in and of itself, it's the truth so let's move on to the disappointment I felt when Triple Fucking H retained his title. With the way Vince & Co have been pumping the dear drug-addled boy Hardy over the past few months, I was 100% sure that the title was as good as his. First they essentially make a mockery of CM Punk by having him lose to just about everybody while he had the title, and now this?! Suuuuure, JH has had some "personal problems" that have precluded him from reaching his potential in the (recent) past, but come on dudes, he's had a nice long stretch of sobriety (sort of) and he's CLEARLY been taking acting lessons to improve his previously pathetic mic presence - not to mention the fact that everyone loves him - and methinks he deserves a gaudy pseudo-athletic award.

That pretty much sums up my bad day in sports! Luckily, today is already going MUCH better, thanks in large part to this picture of A-Rod that essentially defies explanation:

Let's examine: I see crumbs and a half-drunk glass of agua (vodka?), so I'm surmising that he is at some sort of dining establishment. In the left hand, he's fisting a wad of what we can assume to be hundos (that's how he rolls, yo), and in his right, a singular Benjamin, probably about to be used to pay the bill for his $7 eight-egg white and mushroom omelet. So far, a perfectly reasonable scenario for a mega-millionaire.

But then... he's rubbing it on his face. Right towards the camera that we KNOW he knows is there. With a look that says "Cynthia said WHAT about me?! Let's flash some dough and remind her what she missed out on by signing that pre-nup, HAHAHHAHAHHA!"

PS: A-Rod: Money is dirty. Watch out for pimples on that cheek.

BTW

2008-10-03T15:19:00.000-07:00

This is old news by now, but I forgot to mention...

After a full season of not listening to a word he had to say, the Steins have decided to bring the Cash Man back for another 3 seasons of futile efforts to bolster the farm system and make decent trades without screwing the team for the next 18 years. Cash's decision to stick around and give it another whirl was apparently influenced by this year's failure: he didn't want to walk away on a down note.

I guess that means he's got three years to whip this team into shape and get himself a ring. What's the first move? Are we still banking on CC, or did yesterday's meltdown remind us that after the number of pitches he threw for the Brewsters this year his arm may actually be ready to fall off?

The Results are In: Let's Just Blame Everyone

2008-10-01T13:33:00.000-07:00

After our unexpectedly pathetic team got themselves officially eliminated last week, I started asking myself the question we've all been pondering in the back of our minds for much of the season: WHY can't they just WIN?!

During the season, I was able to rationalize with the old "they'll get it together - they always do!", innocently dream that once some injuries had been resolved the team would really perk up, and assume that Cano and Melky would heat up. Once it became clear that those things simply were not going to happen, I started my hunt for a scapegoat.

I'm having a hard time believing that the team didn't have the TALENT to hack it. No team with A-Rod, Jeter, Giambi, Mariano, Moose, and Pettitte should be counted out due to lack of skill. No... it had to be something else. Was it the injuries? Did we put too much stock in Hughsie and IPK? Would things have been different if we had had less faith in those aforementioned losers and did whatever we could to grab Santanamania? Or maybe it was because we lost the magic touch of Torre!?

According to you delightful readers (the ones of you who haven't stopped checking this bloggity, maintaining the faith that I will at some point post updates*), the answer is ALL OF THE ABOVE. 2008 provided the perfect storm of FAIL. Most people who voted in the poll couldn't even decide who to blame - 32% said they couldn't pick just one person/thing on which to peg the blame. For those who, like me, prefer to focus their disappointment on one entity, it was the Injury Gods who received the most votes: 25%. Next on the list was the always-popular decision to just blame the entire roster; 19% of people felt that way.

Interestingly, not many people thought that having Santanamania on the mound would have made much difference (4%) and Hughsie and IPK were also essentially exonerated (4%). Robby Cano Dontcha Know was the LEAST blamed dude, with only 2% of you thinking his suckage was what sunk the team.

My vote was for the injuries. I sincerely believe that having Matsui's and Jorge's bats in the lineup would have made a HUGE difference - that's 40 homers right there! - and Wang would have won three times as many games as all of his replacements combined. Not to mention the fact that A-Rod missed a couple weeks himself, as did Jobamania. Who knows what could have been if the DL Resort and Casino wasn't so booked??

* About that: I am wholeheartedly sorry for my failure to give this bloggity its deserved attention over the past couple months... the many of you who have attempted to juggle full time work AND school can understand that my free time adds up to approximately 78 minutes per week - barely enough time to watch RAW on the DVR, much less write about the poor dilapidated New York team (not you, Mets... although that tag applies to you as well). However! I assure you that I am still committed to the team AND the blog and I will be making a concerted effort to spend a few of those precious minutes ranting and possibly raving (goooo Moose!) here on YC. I swear.

The Blame Game

2008-09-24T16:04:00.000-07:00

Well, the season is effectively over. The team has been eliminated and the Girardi has switched to "let's see what these no-names and prospects can do" mode when creating his lineup.

I was hesitant to start throwing blame around while the Yanks were technically still in the mix, but now that the FAIL has been made official I think it'd be interesting to get some opinions on who - if anyone - and/or what y'all think is at fault. Obviously, there were a LOT of problems plaguing the team, from injuries to slumps to peeps not living up to their expectations, but I can't help but think that there has to be one prevailing reason that the team couldn't hack it.

Or perhaps I just want to single someone/something out so that I can comfort myself with the fact that at least there is a REASON they lost... and that if that person/thing just shaped up for 2009 things would be totally different. Ya hear?

Let's play the blame game!

I'm Not So Upset Anymore

2008-09-22T10:18:00.000-07:00

BTW...
a) This is the first time I've been able to use the Bern Bernie Bern tag in 9 months
b) It is also the first time I've used Jorgie Porgie's tag since his injury

So! Y'all know that I've been more than just a tad disappointed about the FAIL way the team played in the middle of the season and truly think that they HAD the potential to make it to the post-season and simply squandered away their chances by playing sloppily and without passion. I do understand that a team can't make the playoffs every year and blah blah blah, but when a team is packed with talent it's still a disappointment.

Last night, though, I completely forgot about that disappointment. In a word, last night was magical. I know that sounds a bit cheesy, but I implore you to deny that it was just that. I could not have imagined a better send-off for the stadium - it was incredibly well done. The turnout of Yankee legends made the night so special, especially to see them all on the field. The highlight for me was the tribute and special attention given to Bernie, since nothing like that was done after his final game back in '06. I kind of thought they might take the opportunity to retire his number, but perhaps they'll do that once he finally "officially" retires.

Other fave moments:

Boomer! God I love that man. He seems like such good times, even though I fear that if I were to hang out with him (how 'bout it, Boom Dawg?) I would wind up in a jail cell in Tijuana (even if we were partying at a bar in NYC. Somehow, we would end up there.)
I'm so glad Jorgie was there. It was awesome to see him back in the dugout and chit-chatting with the Jeet et al.
Having Babe's daughter throw out the first pitch was the most perfect choice they could have made.
Even though he can be annoying, I appreciate them giving Michael Kay the mic for all the pre-game announcing. He's the TV voice/face of the Yanks and deserved the honor.
Mariano's 1-2-3 9th was the perfect way to end the game and cap off 85 years of Yankee Stadium. He's the best closer in the history of the game and to have anyone else throw out the final pitch would have been a shame.
Obviously, the fact that they won was ideal. Woulda been a bust if they went out on a loss.
Jeet's fan-appreciation speech after the game was classic and heartwarming. Things wouldn't be the same without all the hardcore fans, and it was nice to see the crew tipping their hats in thanks.

I am not one of those folks that think moving to a new stadium is some horrible act of sacrilege that will ruin tradition - I'm looking forward to it and think sparkly new digs suit the grand aura of the Yanks. Last night was the perfect way to end the era, celebrate the past and get excited for the future.

One last thing: I honestly and truly believe that ANY true baseball fan should have enjoyed or at the very least appreciated the extravaganza last night. I don't care if you're a Red Sox fan, lifelong Yankee hater, engaged in a plural marriage with Manny Ramirez and Pedro Martinez - last night was about history. I've already heard a couple Red Sox fans denouncing it and saying "YOUR TEAM DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE PLAYOFFS LOLZ" and I find that pathetic. Don't bother calling yourself a baseball fan.

One more last thing: Here's a vid of the final inning I found on the ol' You Tubez. Relive the magic!

B.Q.E. o' the Season

2008-09-19T16:53:00.001-07:00

Courtesy of the YCD, who is even more broken up about the disastrous season than I:

"The only reason I even tune in anymore is to watch A-Rod's at-bats."

When the YCD, a man who learned how to use a computer solely because he wanted to watch the blacked out games on mlb.tv, can no longer stomach to watch these games, we know things are in a truly dismal state.

On the other hand, I appreciate his support for A-Rod.

Holy HELL I Hate it When...

2008-09-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

... Phil Hughes pitches.

Let me explain.

It's not that I dislike the kid - on the contrary, I always root for him and really want him to succeed. He's just so. Freaking. Frustrating. WHY can't he pitch at the major league level this year? He did it last year and showed great potential - getting all of our hopes up! Then this year... the hell? What happened, Philly Cheesesteak?

Here's what he did last year (AKA The Great FOOLED YOU Caper):
Appearances: 13
IP: 72.7
Record: 5-3
ERA: 4.46
WHIP: 1.208
Shining Moment: 5/1/07, when he took a no-hitter into the 6th against the Rangers.

And now let's take a gander at how he's done this year:
Appearances: 7
IP: 26.0
Record: 0-4
ERA: 7.96
WHIP: 2.038
Shining Moment: Um... I guess going 4 innings and giving up 1 run yesterday.

See what I'm saying, munecas? Yes, he only have up 1 run yesterday, but he really didn't look good and it took him 89 pitches to get through it.

Don't get me wrong - I haven't totally given up on the dude. He was rushed into the majors in the first place and he's had a lot of injury problems. There is certainly a chance for a turnaround. It's just painful to watch him at the moment, and I implore any of you to disagree.

BTW: How's that Santana trade deal proposed by the Twins looking now?

And the Number of Death is...

2008-09-17T15:00:00.000-07:00

Tres partidos.

With 10 games left to play/butcher, the Yanks' elimination number is down to a meager 3 games. That's right: we're just any combination of 3 Yankees losses and/or wins by anyone ahead of us (D-Rays and Sox in division race, as well as the Twinsies in the WC hunt) from the season actually being over.

Not that it hasn't been over for quite some time now... but the official failure is still going to be hard to take. Its truly a shame, and not just because they're breaking their amazing million-years-in-a-row post-season streak. The true sadness is that they are leaving the old stadium on a sad note, which is just not the Yanks style. The Yankees have made history with broken records, World Series wins, flashy plays, big name players, and a penchant for fanfare - having the final few games at Yankee Stadium mean nothing in terms of season status just seems wrong.

And unexpected! Who would have guessed at the beginning of the year that our team would disintegrate into a pile of FAIL? I suppose our naive belief in Hughsie/IPK did us in. As did Cano.

And the injury gods. Let's blame them - Big Stein does.

Let's Have a Homer Party

2008-09-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

Now that we've all given up on the season in terms of "success", it's time to settle for hoping our dudes will pad their stats a bit and at least let the year die with a little dignity. It's a true pity that they couldn't manage to scrape together a few wins and send the old stadium out with a bang, but we can't do anything about that at this point, so let's focus on the good sugar instead.

Good thing numero uno: A-Rod hit a sweet grand salami yesterday for his 34th homer of the year, leaving him just 1 shy of 12 35+ homer seasons. I am still holding out hope for a hearty 40, but that would take some serious work and perhaps luck. He's always good when there's no pressure, though, and with the season essentially over there really is none to speak of. It could happen.

Giambi hit a big homer himself during the game on Sunday, number 30 on the season. He's now hit 30 or more longballs 8 times in his career - and some of those 8 were steroid free!!! WOOOT!

Those weren't the only homers in the game! I've reserved lo mas importante for last. The Jeet hit #11 in the 5th, the 1,269th hit in his career. With just 7 home games left to play, Jeter tied up Lou Gehrig for the most hits in Yankee Stadium. Twas a heartwarming moment indeed (and hats off to the fan that caught the ball and gave it back to the Jeet, you're a kind soul and a good fan).

Speaking of DJ, his average is a healthy .306 now. Moral of the story: Jeter never disappoints. He always comes through.

Yes, yesterday was indeed a good day for the team - a bright spot amidst what has been a truly pathetic/embarrassing/soul-crushing season. The boys were hitting, Mo actually got the chance to save a game, the bullpen didn't jack things up, A-Rod hit a homer, and Jeter played the role of legend. It honestly breaks my tender heart to know that for the first time in my fandom, the season ends after 162 games.

Giambino Contract Yearino

2008-09-11T11:29:00.000-07:00

He may be an old, fat (though admittedly not as grande as he used to be), ex-juicer, but the Giambino has really stepped up his game this year. Perhaps it's because he's in a contract year, or maybe he really does hit better when he's playing in the field... whatever it is, we owe him a hearty thank you for his valiant (though ultimately fruitless) attempts to keep the team in the running.

Let's take a gander at what he's done this year:

Batting average: .248 - this is essentially insignificant in my humble little opinion. I'm an OBP girl. I just want dudes on base and saving outs.
OPB: .374 - better than Jeter, Abreu, Nady, Pudge...
Slugging %: .507 - third on the team after A-Rod and Nady (another chap who deserves a thank you and a return trip to the Bronx next year)
Homers: 29 - 15 more than last year, and if he hits just one more (which I anticipate he shall) he'd have 8 seasons with 30+ homers.
RBI: 90 - no small feat when the rest of the losers on this team are never on base.
And his fielding: 101 games at 1st base, more than he's played since 2001 with the A's - and he's only made 7 errors. Not spectacular, but he hasn't been a total butcher. Still lunges awkwardly though.

I've always liked this man, even when he sucked, and I'm glad to see him doing well. It's unfortunate that his efforts were in vain (and BTW: if you haven't officially given up on the season yet, I pity you for the eventual sadness in which you will soon be engulfed), but it's still been nice to watch.

Let's start taking bets on where he'll end up next year and how much cash he'll get. In today's market, he'll still get a sweet deal - fat and old or not.

False.

2008-09-11T11:26:00.000-07:00

In response to some emails I've received this week... NO, I have not been neglecting the blog because of the Yankees' fail factor. I just have no time. I work full time and go to school. I'm doing my best here, peeps.

A-Rod Makes History (or... the Umps Do)

2008-09-04T08:39:00.000-07:00

A-Rod might not reach his usual 40+ homer total this year (THANKS, DL), but he will go down in history as the first player to have a homer officially reviewed by the brand spankin' new instant replay system.

He was the victim of a bad call earlier in the year, when his homer in Yankee Stadium was incorrectly ruled a double (if he winds up with 39 homers, he's going to be extremely bitter about that one). This time, with the help of fancy technology that has been available in other sports for years, when the officials were unsure as to whether a ball he smacked that hit the catwalk should be a ruled a homer, they were able to get the call right.

If you're an instant replay detractor, how are you feeling about things now that it's actually been used - successfully?

Jobamania's Back to Attack

2008-09-02T15:31:00.000-07:00

Jobamania has reportedly completed his rehab action and has been re-added to the active roster. All signs point to a spot in the 'pen for the duration of the season.

Because Ponson and Rasner are doing SO well in the rotation, we simply can't replace either of them with Joba.

Is MEDIOCRITY Too Much to Ask?!

2008-09-02T13:39:00.000-07:00

In addition to being swamped with the wonders of work and school, my poor soul is also being crushed by my team... as they continue to get crushed by everyone from the Jays to the Sox to that delightfully heart-warming little group of ball-playing rapscallions from Hawaii.

Sigh. For more on my feelings regarding the trauma, refer to the previous post.

Anyway. Just wanted to mention another quick bit of sadness today, this one for all you mathematics enthusiasts out there (REMEMBER! I am the former Vice President of the La Canada High School math club): There is a legitimate chance that if this team doesn't shape up, they won't finish the year at the .500 mark (82 wins). With just 73 wins under their belt at this point and 25 games to go, they need to go 9-16 just to maintain some sense of dignity. Sounds easy enough, but their opponents this month are the Angels, BoSox, Jays, Rays, O's, ChiSox, and Mariners - several of which are actually, ya know, good teams.

The Yanks haven't finished under .500 since 1992.

This is the End...

2008-08-27T11:25:00.000-07:00

I said yesterday that this series against the Soxies was essentially going to be the maker or breaker of the Yanks' season, and I stand by that remark. Getting back into the mix required a sweep, and that is obviously no longer an option. I suppose there is a dim chance of the perfect storm of Red Sox failures and some magical transformation in the performances from the likes of Ponson, C-Pav, and A-Rod (for the record: I still love the man. He just hasn't been clutch. Not even close. Not that anyone else HAS been, but after last year I thought he was over the "OMG OMG I'm so nervous!" spasms. And to the guy that emailed me saying that A-Rod was a "bum" that we were "stuck with" for 10 years... simmer down and ponder where this team would be in the rankings without him every year), but it is admittedly improbable.

Have I given up? I'd like to say no... but I'm going to have to go with a resounding YESSIR. It breaks my heart to say such a blasphemous thing, but it must be said.

And this way, if a miracle occurs, I'll be pleasantly surprised.

This is IT, Peeps

2008-08-26T13:12:00.000-07:00

The Yanks have just 32 games remaining (with only 2 days off to rest their tired, failing bones) to make up 5 games to secure a wild card spot. Time is slipping away, munecas, but the Yanks have a big chance this week to make up some serious ground. Three games against the Sox means two things: if they sweep, they are right back in the running; if they FAIL, the season is essentially dunzo as the gap will have widened to a likely insurmountable 8 games.

Remember back in August of 2006 when the Yankees managed to sweep a 5-game set against the Beasts from Boston? Yes, twas a marvelous site to behold and knocked the Sox out of the post-season running (although they weren't really in it anymore at that point anyway); it also boosted their confidence and propelled them to a winning September and an AL East victory. What they DID with that victory shall not be mentioned here as it is irrelevant to my feeble argument/attempt at hope.

The Yankees are in desperate need of such a boost right now. The possibility of a Sox sweep is essentially the only thing keeping my hopes alive at this point.

There's a bit of good news, though: The Yanks won't have to face Beckett or Dice-K. Here's the matchups:

Tuesday: RHP Tim Wakefield (7-8, 3.67) vs. LHP Andy Pettitte (13-9, 4.17)

Wednesday: RHP Paul Byrd (8-11, 4.61) vs. RHP Sidney Ponson (7-4, 4.67)

Thursday: LHP Jon Lester (12-5, 3.49) vs. RHP Mike Mussina (16-7, 3.45)

Of course... not facing their best pitchers doesn't make that much of a difference when we're throwing like the likes of Ponson onto the mound.

I'm so nervous about tonight I can hardly function. A loss tonight might very well send me spiraling into a Yankees-induced depression of monumental proportions.

An Obvious Answer

2008-08-25T10:20:00.000-07:00

Q: You're injured. Or you're having a bad year. Your team is just barely hanging onto feeble dreams of usurping the Twins/White Sox/Red Sox/Hawaiian Little League champs for a wild card spot. What are you to do with yourself?

A: Transport yourself back to high school and bust out a game of beer pong (rebellious!)

In celebration of beating the Royals last week (yeah, that's all we have to live for at this point: beating the Royals and Orioles), seasoned drunkard Giambi took the still sorta-injured Jobamania out to a NYC bar called Southern Hospitality and indulged in a delightful game of beer pong with some locals.

They lost. Badly.

Let's hope Joba was wise enough to use his non-pitching arm to do the paddlin'.

Time for a Perfect Game from C-Pav

2008-08-23T15:20:00.001-07:00

I am, of course, using "perfect game" in Pavano terms - I'd consider 6 innings and 4 ER to be pretty damn perfect from him.

I Can't Even Write Like a Normal Human

2008-08-22T09:52:00.000-07:00

Generally speaking, I'd say that approximately 87% of my blog posts contain at least one or two cogent thoughts, whether I'm explaining the consequences of some sort of devastating injury or my thoughts on an awesome trade (sorry, Farnsworthless). Today, though... no such luck. The season has spiraled downhill in such a ridiculous fashion (it actually has the potential to be comical, if it weren't so sickening) that I find myself incapable of retaining any semblance of rationale, calm, or writing ability (do you like how I imply that I usually DO possess some ability? Ha!).

That said, let's take this post in a direction more akin to free-floating hostility and stream of consciousness reporting...

...I know that lamenting the fact that the Yanks may not make the playoffs sounds very spoiled, but what fan doesn't want their team to make the post-season - regardless of how many times they've been there before? What, am I just supposed to sit back and console myself with the fact that they DID indeed win a lot over the past 15 years and be happy for other teams? The YCBF (a dirty dirty Mets fan) seems to think so. False.

...I guess I am sort of happy for the Rays. They're a fun team to watch and they've been working on their roster for years, sans big bucks. No such love for the Angels or Red Sox.

...Has anyone else noticed that this team has essentially become the Braves, making the playoffs every year and FAILING? The hell?

...At least the Jeet has returned to good form. As usual, he's doing his best to carry his team through tough times.

...Johnny Damon in center is driving me absolutely batty. I don't even hold his disgusting defense against him personally. He shouldn't be out there in the first place. I understand that Matsui has to be the DH, leaving no other place for JD but in the field, but that doesn't make it any easier to watch. Tis a sad state of affairs.

...I am so disappointed in Cano. He is so much better than this. Did he just give up? Was his performance over the past couple years due solely to the hugs of Joe Torre?

...The fate of Joba seems like a cruel joke. How often is it that a reliever turns into a starter with essentially ZERO adjustment time - no pathetic outings, the ability to go deep in the game, etc?

...Speaking of cruel jokes, what the F is wrong with Hughes and I-Ken? I know it's rare that even a top prospect ends up living up to his hype, but we were led to believe these dudes were sure things. I honestly expected at least ONE of them to contribute SOMETHING this year. I don't think there's a Yanks fan amongst us that didn't think exackle the same thing. The fact that neither of them was even seriously considered to pitch on Saturday speaks volumes about the lack of confidence the Girardino et al have in them.

...While I'm not exactly thrilled about the great C-Pav making a return to the mound, I'm trying to remain positive - I've even brought back the seldom-used "Pavano Must LIVE" tag. We have zero other options. He's worked hard (allegedly). I'd say there's a decent chance he pitches well. Plenty of pitchers come back from Tommy John surg raring to go, no?

...Does anyone else find themselves rooting for the Dodgers a bit now that Torre and Mattingly are at the helm of that ship?

...Perhaps I'm just living in a state of denial, but I'm not ready to give up just yet. Let's give them a couple more weeks. They might still have it in them.

Godzilla Attacks Toronto

2008-08-19T14:08:00.000-07:00

Good news, peeps: Matsui and his busted knee are back to attack and in the lineup TONIGHT. He hasn't played in almost 2 months, but he was playing pretty gosh-darned well before the Injury Gods struck him down, hitting .323 with a .404 OBP. He only narrowly avoided surgery, which worries me a tad - a sore knee (possibly still partially full of some nasty fluid) could certainly preclude the hitting of a bunch of homers or stretching a single into a dub. He'll be occupying the DH spot (the Damster will be in CF), so at least we won't have to worry about fly balls sailing over his head, or worse yet, an aggravation of the current injury.

Let's all cross our fingers/toes/miscellaneous other appendages that he brings a spark to the team. If we can't win in Toronto and Baltimore, the already slim chances of a playoff spot are going to look mighty dim.

Oh, and Justin Christian was the casualty of the Matsui activation. Fare thee well.

Who?

2008-08-18T15:26:00.000-07:00

Q: Now that everyone from the Wangster to Dan freakin' Geise is injured and I-Ken has no immediate plans to turn himself into a viable major league pitcher, who would you like to see inserted into the rotation?

A: Too bad - You get Carl Pavano.

You heard me (read me, whatevs), munecas. The big CP has been rehabbin' and just might make a triumphant (in this case, triumphant is a synonym for "humiliating" or "unwanted") return to pinstripes sometime very soon. His rehab assignment is nearing its completion, and once it's done the Yankees have to activate him - unless they can conjure up some excuse to keep him rehabbing (or, more likely, unless he injures himself getting on the plane back to NYC [smothered by a $5 JetBlue blanket?]). Unless IPK throws a no-hitter or a witch doctor anoints Wang with some magical healing tonic within the next couple days, necessity will probs bring the Alyssa Milano castoff back to the Bronx.

To be fair... he's looked alright in his rehab starts. He pitched 6 innings in Trenton today and allowed just 1 run on 6 hits with 1 walk, and he managed to strike out 6 as well. His Tommy John surg obviously went well enough and at least no tendons/fingernails/eyelashes got damaged during the healing process and practice starts. I don't think anyone really WANTS to depend on him in this terribly crucial point in the season, when every game is essentially a must-win, but what choice do we have?

Maybe he performs really, really well under a lot of pressure. Perhaps during the TJ surg the doc replaced his tendon not with a new one but with a bionic prosthesis allowing him to pitch up to 300mph at his whim. Or maybe I've been wrong all along and there not only IS a god but he is a CP fan and has just been waiting to bless him until this very moment.

Sidenote: Which is more likely: the existence of god or the possibility that he would be a CP supporter?

Anyway. Back to the matter at hand. Assuming he comes back within the next week or so, he'd probably be on tap for just 5 or 6 starts (unless they make it to the playoffs and we're forced to watch him serve up 234890234890 homers to Vladdy). Despite my (feeble attempt at) jokes, I don't think it'll be such a horrible thing. It will put a lot of pressure on the offense, but he can't possibly be worse than Kei Igawa or the new FAIL model of IPK.

What dost thou thinkest?

Update: He might be making an appearance as soon as Saturday: http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3541625

Are you ready to rumble?

Shape Up or SHIP OUT! And By That, I Mean SHIP OUT.

2008-08-15T17:06:00.001-07:00

As I mentioned the other day, I've been one busy chickadee, spending approximately 29.7 hours per day doing homework and working like a responsible citizen. All this hard work leaves me with less time than ever to focus on my beautiful yet FAIL team, and it is a rare day in this wild time that I have a spare moment to read more than a headline or two of any news that isn't related to technology - it's truly a sad state of affairs, peeps.

In anticipation of the game today, I made a quick journey over to Peter Abrahams blog (lo siento, work... I swear it was like 37 seconds) to check the lineup and see which of our losers were playing today as is my gameday routine and noticed Gardner was there in place of the Melk Man; I assumed Girardi had had enough of the beast's seemingly endless disappointments and took him out of the lineup again for some more benchwarming. HOWEVER! Upon scrolling down for some more quick updates (ok... make it 97 seconds) I found the truth: Melky has been demoted to AAA.

While I was a bit surprised (this team [and the fans] seem to have a love affair with the Melk Man), I must say that I found the news to be a huge relief. Let's face it, the dude sucks this year, and TIME IS RUNNING OUT. Quickly. There is simply no room in the lineup for automatic outs (except, apparently, for Jo-Mo, but at least he contributes defensively). With the fabulous Nady trade, the Yanks have plenty of outfield options - they will not miss him. Cano is out of a dance partner and carpool buddy, but perhaps he'll be scared straight by his BFF's fate.

In lesser news, SexsNO was cut loose. He will not be missed either. I look forward to more Giambi ABs.

B.Q.E. o' the Day: Stein Has Officially Lost Hope

2008-08-13T13:24:00.000-07:00

First off, let me tell y'all that this gosh darned (insert much fouler language of your choice here) team is literally making me sick to my stomach these days, and that is not an exaggeration. Two 3-run homers served up to Delmon Young in as many games?! The hell?? Leave it to this flailing team to give D-Y a chance to feel like Big Papi for a couple days.

Anyway. Serenity now. Onward to the latest installment of Best. Quote. Ever., this one courtesy of none other than the head honcho himself, Big Stein. It should come as no surprise that with the way they've been playing/failing lately he's getting bitter himself. In fact, he's even sounding like he's resigned himself to the possibility that this may finally be the year that his team has to sit out in October - and he's pinpointed the reason:

"I think it's very simple, we've been devastated by injuries. No team I've ever seen in baseball has been decimated like this. It would kill any team. Imagine the Red Sox without Beckett and Lester. Pitching is 70 percent of the game. Wang won 19 games two straight years. Chamberlain became the most dominating pitcher in baseball. You can't lose two guys like that. We're going to win it next year. If we need to add a top veteran pitcher, we'll do that. We'll do whatever we need to do. Next year we'll be extremely dangerous."

Sounds to me like he's pretty much given up and decided to pin his hopes on next year instead. Somewhat depressing, yes, but at least he's being realistic. And on the bright side, if the Yanks don't find a way to weasel their way into playoff-ville you KNOW The Stein will be all about shelling out the big bucks to sign someone like CC or Tex. Bring it on.

SOS

2008-08-12T16:04:00.001-07:00

If a blog dies in the blogosphere and there are no readers around to hear it, does it make a sound?

No, I'm not dead, nor is the bloggy. I've just been deathly busy with school and work, leaving me with barely a minute to spare to even watch the Yankees lose, much less write about my recent disgust. With the way the Yankees have been playing of late - how many double plays can those losers ground into?! - it was probably a good week for me to take off.

I have some catching up to do with my baseball reading - I need to further investigate the Joba status, check out the team's stats with RISP (and cry), and see what Carl Pavano is up to these days (hardy har har) - and then I'll return with further YC commentary.

To those of you that emailed me wondering where I've been: thank you for the concern.

Jobaouchamania

2008-08-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

Last night's game was nothing short of abject disaster, and not just because of the pathetic display put up by new Yank Marte - nay, I'll give that fellow a one-time pass since he's a newbie and has shown that surely he can do much better than that (right?). The true bust/catastrophe was the early departure of an apparently wounded Joba, who was escorted off the mound in the middle of the 5th inning clutching his right shoulder (sidenote: I like how the article on yankees.com makes sure to specify that he was holding his right shoulder with his left hand... lest we think he has the ability to turn his various arm bones into noodles in order to gently cradle that right shoulder with the hand from the same arm). Joba explained that while he usually ain't a crybaby - "As a pitcher, unless my arm falls off, I'm probably not going to say anything" - something was amiss.

"That's just the way it is. Sometimes you've got to learn that maybe you should call somebody, but it's something that it grabbed and popped and got stiff."

He headed back to NY today rather than hang with the team in the blazing hot hellhole that is Texas, presumably to undergo a buncha tests so that the team can find out whether the injury is one we should be crying about or if we can breathe a sigh of relief and rest assured that he'll be gone for just a couple starts. Aside from the worry we're surely all feeling about the injury itself, there is also the horrible fact that the Yankees will have to replace him with one of the many less-than-optimal options they currently have at their disposal - folks like Igawa, I-Ken (who would have thought a year ago that we'd be referring to IPK as a less-than-optimal rotation man? For now, anyway...), and Dan Geise. My money is on IPK.

Are you ready to give him another chance?

Thanks, Dodgers!

2008-08-01T11:10:00.000-07:00

The Red Sox have finally had enough of Manny Being Manny - "Manny being a difficult, ungrateful jackass" is a more appropriate catchphrase - and kicked him to the curb. Well, technically they traded him, but while Jason Bay is a fine player I think the Sox made a bold statement in giving away a powerhouse essentially to rid themselves of his bad attitude and refusal to make a real effort.

This, of course, is grand news for the Yanks. Manny has always been a Yankee killer, especially in recent times. Over the last 39 games against the Yankees, he was 60 of 132 (.455) with 25 extra-base hits, 30 walks and 40 RBI. Not only will they not have to face him anymore, but the Sox will surely lose a couple crucial games thanks to the loss of his bat (again: Bay is an above average player but he's no HOF bound Manny) and with the Yankees just a couple games behind the Sox in the playoff race this could very well be the deal breaker/maker for who heads to the ALDS and who saddles up on their leather recliner to drown their sorrows in the finest Natty Light.

By the way: did y'all notice that Manny benched himself BOTH times his team was set to face Jobamania? Quite the compliment.

By the way, again: Interesting/funny that Joe Torre will be teaming up with an old rival in a playoff race!

Smarter.com: Yankees Jackets Yankees Hats Yankees Jerseys MLB Jerseys Baseball Gloves

A Mini Trade

2008-08-01T08:35:00.000-07:00

The Yanks have already made their big splashes this summer trade-wise, bringing the Pudgester, Nady and Marte onto the team, but they made one more little move yesterday, shipping former Jeter replacement (when he was stuck at the DL Resort and Casino) Alberto "Attorney General" Gonzalez off to National-ville (have fun not contending... ever) in exchange for 22-year old AA reliever Jhonny "Oops! My parents spelled my name wrong!" Nunez.

J-Hon was 1.13 ERA in five relief appearances with Double-A Harrisburg, striking out eight and walking six in eight innings.

The Attorney General played in 28 games with the Yanks, batting .173 with two doubles and an RBI in 52 at-bats.

Yanks win this one.

ANOTHER Steal of a Deal!

2008-07-31T04:24:00.000-07:00

With the top of the AL East suddenly not out of sight, the Steinbrothers and Cash Man are pulling out all the stops to give the team the best shot possible to make it to the playoffs again. They already filled a couple holes with the great Nady and Marte deal (and BTW: I'm getting more excited about the X-Man with each passing day [and with each sweet RBI dub, of course]) and yesterday they made sure the trade deadline didn't pass them by before they could address another major need.

The move today was a surprise - and a GREAT one. The Tigers reportedly just started reaching out to teams looking for takers for Pudge Rodriguez and the Yanks jumped at the chance, thanks to the Jorgie Porgie's season ending surgery and Jo-Mo's inability to do much more than stand immobile at the plate. The best part?? All they wanted in return for this 14-time All Star catching gem: Kyle Farnsworthless.

Here's the deets on our new catcher:
Career numbers: .302/.340/.477. 47% caught steeling record (!!) 14 All-Star games, 1 MVP (1999), 13 Gold Gloves, 7 Silver Sluggers
2008: .295/.338/.417. 5 HR, 32 RBI, 6 SB. 36% caught steeling record.

Much as I despise Farny, I'll admit that he's been having a decent year: 44.3 IP, 43 K, 17 BB, 3.65 ERA. I'm not fooled, though. We all know he sucks.

For the most part, everyone seems excited about the deal. Pudge says he's ready to move on from Tigerville and would even like to stay once his contract is up at the end of the year (he's got an option on the contract) and is looking forward to working with the likes of the Jeet and the Moose. As for Farny... there were tears, which made the hyper-sensitive YC ALMOST feel bad for him (until I remember how much I hated him and was able to get myself under control). Girardino was getting verklempt himself - he loves the boy and has been pulling for him all season. They'll get over it as soon as Farny realizes he won't be booed as much in Detroit (at first, anyway) and Girardi realizes Pudge is an awesome replacement for Jo-Mo and especially poor Moeller.

Speaking of Moeller... see ya on the bench!

BTW, there's still a few hours left. Are more trades to come? Jarrod Washburn packing his bags yet?

What Should the Yanks Do About the Hole in Left Field?
	Give Brett Gardner a chance
	Sign Randy Winn
	Sign X Nady
	Sign Wily Mo Pena
	Sign some other free agent (who? specify in the comments!!)
	Make a trade for someone better (who? specify in the comments!!)
	Suck it up and pony up the big bucks for Damon

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What's the Verdict: Are You Burning Your A-Rod Jersey or Sending Him a Valentine?
	I've forgiven him and will show my support by defending him to my Red Sox fan friends (idiots)
	I've forgiven him but my opinion of him has lowered
	I've forgiven him because its the cool thing to do but secretly I'm prets pissed
	I never had a problem with it in the first place. Get over it.
	I never had a problem with it in the first place and in fact would prefer if more people used PEDs
	I haven't forgiven him yet but I may in the future if he performs well. We'll see.
	I haven't forgiven him and I probably never will.
	Anyone use cheats in any fashion should be beaten to death with the wiffle bat.

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Who or What Can We Blame for This Disastrous Season??
	The Steins
	Cash Man
	Girardi
	Hughsie and IPK
	INJURIES to Jorgie, Wang, et al
	Robby Cano Dontcha Know
	NOT Getting Santanamania
	ALL of the Players
	Can't Pick Just One...

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Would You Rather See CP in the Rotation or...
	IPK
	Hughsie
	Igawa
	Where the F is Joba?
	Jose Canseco
	CP is Fine

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