Congratulations are in order for our dear Hideki Matsui, who got hitched this week - to a ballpoint pen sketch, apparently, but a marriage nevertheless. While we're at it, you might want to buy two extra "Congratulations onf Your Marriage; Why Wasn't I Invited to the Ceremony?" greeting cards for Bobby "I Still Haven't Exhibited Enough Personality to Earn Me a YC Nickname" Abreu and Jeter Jeter Pumpkin Eater. It seems that prior to getting hitched, Matso Ball Soup wagered a bet with the two, decreeing that once he tied the knot with his lady/sketch those two would have to follow suit. Jeter was givin a year to find a lucky lady and lead her down the aisle of Vegas's finest wedding chapel, and Abreu was only alotted six months to do the deed as he already has a girlfriend and thus is partway there already.

I'm not sure how much money is at stake here, but I'd venture to guess that Matso has a better chance of collecting from Abreu than from Jeter. Actually, both of them have said that they might as well just pony up whatever dough is on the line right now. As Jeter put it:

I got one year? No chance. I’ll give him the money today. That’s pretty good. How do you say sneaky in Japanese? Ain’t that something? I should have known he was up to something.”

I think we Jeter fans should help out. There's no reason the man should that bet; he's a very eligible bachelor. Perhaps he simply hasn't got the time to take care of some of the important steps that lead up to securing a significant other, like setting up an online dating account or sorting through the sizable stack of phone numbers he surely receives daily. Jeter, if you're reading this (and I'm positive that you are, as YC is surely the home page of not only every Yankees fan in the universe but of every Yankee player past and present), keep me in mind as a potential matchmaker/personal date-finder extraordinaire.

I hear that lovely young lady Britney Spears is single...