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Sidney Ponson and His DUI Trifecta Join the Yankees
Friday, July 14, 2006
Cashman has had his heart broken by his pitching staff more than a few times this year. Small, who played a huge role in pushing the Yankees on top of the Red Sox in the AL East last year, proved to be such a huge disappointment that he had to be busted down to AAA after 11 appearances this year. The other guy responsible for much of the Yankees success in the 2nd half of the 2005 season, Shawn Chacon, has also been a disaster this year, and had to be shifted to the bullpen to minimize the damage he was doing (he was averaging 1.24 hits per inning pitched and walked more batters than he struck out). And don’t forget about Pavano (left, dumbfounded as to how to explain his most recent injury), who continues to defy all laws of physiology by sustaining repeated buttock injuries and hasn’t pitched a single inning for the Yankees this year.

Alas, what’s a GM to do when his team is in 2nd place and in dire need of pitching in a market where available pitchers are few and (extremely) far between? Pick up a DFA’d pitcher with a strong history of alcohol abuse and a moderate history of major league success, of course!

Sidney Ponson (right, looking hopefully into the stands for the Budweiser vendor), who is more well-known for his run-ins with breathalyzers than for his work on the pitching mound, has joined the Yanks and will likely make his first start next Tuesday. Despite the arrests and his 6.21 ERA last year with the Orioles, signing Ponson actually may turn out to be a decent deal for the Yankees. In 13 starts for the Cardinals this season, he held a 4.52 ERA, which, while not stellar, is still better than the job Chacon and Small were doing. Since the Yanks picked up after the Cards had designated him for assignment, they are only required to pay him the minimum MLB salary ($316,000)—prorated, of course—making his signing a very low-risk deal. If he can just lay off the sauce and keep his ERA under 5.00, he may be able to help keep the Yankees in the running for the post-season.

If not, perhaps the Yankees can get him drunk and have him distract the Red Sox with some erratic driving through Fenway long enough to knock them out of 1st place.

Labels: ,

posted by Yankees Chick @ Friday, July 14, 2006  
5 Comments:
  • At 6:20 PM, Blogger MikeyBronx said…

    I wonder if they have a uniform big enough to fit this fat wad of trash.

     
  • At 5:27 AM, Blogger TJ said…

    And he shall be Ponson...
    And he shall be a good man...
    He shall be Ponson

     
  • At 5:29 AM, Blogger TJ said…

    And he shall be Ponson...
    And he shall be a good man...
    He shall be Ponson

     
  • At 1:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I think Ponson is going to do for the Yankees what Chacon did for them last year. OK Ponson did get in trouble, but he got into a drunken fight in his native Aruba and punched a guy. Normally this would have been settled and we would have had never heard about it, but the guy he punched was one of the only TWO judges Aruba has and therefore Ponson did a little jail time. But come on Soriano, put those pinstripes back on your skinny ass or at least give me Abreau. I'm gready, what can I say I'm a Yankee fan.

     
  • At 11:43 PM, Blogger Kimers82 said…

    I have to say that as a loyal Ponson fan, I have thought for a long time that maybe what he needs to fulfill his pitching potential is to have better/different coaches. Maybe this switch to the Yanks is just what the ole boy needs.

     
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