Per official MLB rules, each team is allowed 25 men on their active roster. Per logic, in order to win games, a majority of these 25 athletes need to be performing well.

The Yankees have 4 players on their active roster that are playing like champions, and 21 losers taking up space and contributing close to nothing (and that's being generous, some of these chumps contribute less than nothing and are actually detrimental just by coming near the rest of the team [I'm looking at you, Farnsworthless]). By the magic of mathematics and the probability (and do not forget, the Yankees Chick was the vice-president of the math club in high school), it seems highly unlikely that the Yanks could win many games operating at just 16%.

Before I continue to bitch about the underperforming wastes of space on this team, let me take a moment to congratulate the 4 aforementioned champion players and thank them for their tireless efforts to salvage some semblance of quality play for the team. Thank you, Andy Pettitte, for being the only pitcher on the team to pitch consistent quality starts. He hasn't had one cringe-worthy start all season and his record should be much higher - - he's had a couple leads blown by the bullpen. Another thank you goes to A-Rod, for forcing fickle Yankees fans to see and appreciate his talent as he continues to be the only Yankee showing any power and the one knocking in almost a fifth of all the Yanks runs. Dear Jeter is deserving of a third thank you, for doing what he always does - hitting for average (.364), getting on base (.443), and coming through in the clutch (.500 average with runners in scoring position). Rounding out that quartet of Yanks who are actually playing respectably is Jorgie Posada, whose .371 batting average puts him ahead of the rest of the league, and whose arm remains as sharp as those of many of his younger counterparts - he's thrown out 9 would-be base-stealers so far. Good work, men! I hope you're enjoying your personal successes as your teammates screw you out of hopes of winning a World Series ring this year.

Now back to the hating. I have an indiscriminate and largely irrational hatred for most of the team right now, from Cano right on down to Mariano. Every batter is chopping at balls like the object of the game is to never stand still and look at a pitch, and every pitcher has apparently forgotten that they are supposed to throw the ball past the batter, not directly at the sweet spot of the bat. Their overall attitude is disappointing and worrisome; how are we supposed to remain hopeful when none of them get fired up or inspired to try harder in the face of tough times?