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Those Other 29 Teams
Friday, June 22, 2007
teams galoreSee? I told you there were other teams!

Contrary to popular belief, the Yankees are not the only team in the MLB. In fact, there are 29 other teams in the league, each with their own stars, failures, ups, downs, and even fans! I spend quite a bit of time and bandwidth discussing the goings-on of Yankeeville, seeing as how I am the Yankees Chick, but much like how a pop music radio station is mandated to allocate a certain percentage of their airtime to news, I feel compelled to examine the state of the other teams. Since there are so many of them and such little time (the Yankees Chick does need to go to work on occasion, regrettably), I'm going to limit my analyzes to 10 words or less per team. Ready to rumble? Let's do this thing!

AL East AKA Boston and a bunch of losers (Yanks included...)
Boston (46-25): 2 inuries away from serious trouble. Pray for it.
Toronto (34-37): Injuries galore. No really, a lot.
Tampa Bay (31-39): Another year with no chance in division. Sad, no?
Baltimore (31-41): No manager. No Girardi. No winning. No division title. Goodbye.

AL Central
Don't take the wild card spot, its our only hope.
Cleveland (42-29): On a roll! Division title in their future?
Detroit (42-29): 4 hitting over .300, 4 with 10+ homers. Not bad!
Minnesota (36-34): Santana amazing; free agent after next year. Yankee in 2009??
Chicago (29-39): Holy shit Ozzie has NO internal censor.
Kansas City (29-44): There's only so much Meche can do.

AL West
you need one more team
Los Angeles (46-27): We should have gone for Vladdy, not Sheff
Oakland (39-32): Offense=yikes. Pitching=pure golden magic
Seattle (37-32): Having fun with Jeff Weaver?! Muahahahhahahahhaha
Texas (28-44): I kinda like Sammy. Congrats on an uncorked 600.

NL East
the competition is getting interesting...
New York (38-32): What happened here? Losing like the Yanks now.
Atlanta (38-35): Bobby should say "fuck it. New goal: 200 ejections"
Philadelphia (37-35): Howard, pick it up. I'm not impressed yet.
Florida (35-39): Youngsters as far as the eye can see.
Washington (30-42): Owner?

NL Central
you have one too many teams
Milwuakee (41-31): Crushing the division. Post-season seems like sure thing.
St. Louis (32-37): How did you win the World Series? You're not good.
Chicago: Mandatory anger management classes, stat.
Houston (31-41): Lidge makes me a little bit sad.
Pittsburgh (31-41): Chacon is kinda good and versatile. Thanks for 2006.
Cincinnatti (28-45): Griffey is classy (jockstrap...?) and still playing like a champ.

NL West
hey, the perennially weak division ain't looking too shabby in 2007!
San Diego (41-31): Best pitching in MLB, bottom line.
Arizona (42-31): Hahahaha Unit injured again.
Los Angeles (41-31): Schmidt out for season, Pierre just mediocre. October chances? Undetermined.
Colorado (38-34): Humidor.
San Francisco (30-41): Bonds at 748. Record imminent, hurry up already.

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posted by Yankees Chick @ Friday, June 22, 2007  
  • At 5:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Mo, I'll take it as a compliment to the Red Sox that they only thing you had to say about them is that they're two injuries away from serious trouble. Who the hell isn't? Ortiz/Manny, Ortiz/Beckett, Manny/Paps, whatever. Yes, I think it's quite obvious that they'd be in trouble. Hell, the Yankees are in trouble and who've they got injured? A-Rod and Jeter go down and you're REALLY screwed!

    It's like saying, in the NFL, your team's screwed if the QB goes down. Say it about any team and it applies, not just a couple.

    Great stats so far for Clemens against the NL: 1-2, 4.86 ERA and 21 Ks in 16 IP. No sportsgasm for Susan Waldman over those numbers. Can't wait 'til he pitches against some good teams.

  • At 5:22 AM, Anonymous manny being manny said…

    That last one was from me. Not sure why my comment was saved, oh well.

    No venom intended Mo, just some good fun.

  • At 5:33 AM, Blogger MikeyBronx said…

    Who have the Yankees got injured?


    Try four starting pitchers -- Carl Pavano, Philip Hughes, Jeff Karstens and Darrell Rasner. How about the centerfielder, Johnny Damon, who hasn't been healthy for an entire freakin' game this season? Hell, he had to come out of the season opener with a damn calf injury.

    With that said, there are no excuses. The Yankees have overcome injuries in the past, yet don't have the bench and/or the talent at the AAA-level to duplicate that feat this year. Yeah, I know their minor-league pitchers are rated high in all those fancy magazines, but none of those evaluations include guys like Rasner and Karstens, who are just throw-ins and B-level replacements. None of the actual jewels -- other than Hughes -- are ready now.

    As for the Red Sox, they absolutely have had the benefit of being healthy. Josh Beckett missed two games. Big deal. Curt Schilling is being shut down now. Do we even know if he's actually injured? His MRI came up clean. My guess is if they didn't lead the division by 49 1/2 games, he'd be pitching.

    And your take on Clemens is way off-base. He's struck out 21 batters and walked only four in his first three starts. If his fucking offense (Excuse my language, Mo) could do something when he pitches, he'd have at least two wins right now. I'll tell him to pitch well against a good team (which he already did against the Mets' lineup) when Josh Beckett pitches in a game where his offense doesn't score 78 runs for him.

    Having said all this, I hate the Yankees right now and hope they all contract scurvy on their trip to San Francisco. Good riddance and good day.

  • At 9:52 AM, Anonymous manny being manny said…

    Mikey, I'll give you Damon, but those four pitchers you mentioned? Please. Their injuries are not why the Yankees are losing. That'd be like me complaining about Lester, Pedroia, and Ellsbury and Bucholtz (if they had some major league role this season) injuries. They're irrelevant. I'm talking about the big guys.

    As for Clemens, I suppose I should have clarified my point. But let's not completely blame the Yanks offense here.

    In his only win against the Pirates (big deal) he allowed 3 in 6? He lost to a struggling (at the time) Mets with no run support for his only good outing of the season, and then throws 91 in 4 1/3 the other night to a tune of 4 earned? His K numbers are what you might expect, but a 4.86 ERA for $18 million?!

    Part of me can understand that if this deal didn't go down, nearly half the Yankee faithful would be outside Cashman's office looking for blood. However, what is everyone expecting Clemens to do better than the next best option? He's 1-2 right now, let's say he finishes 11-4. Reasonable? What could they have gotten from anyone else? 6, 7, 8 wins? So is a difference of 3-5 wins worth $18 million?

  • At 10:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    the phillies in 10 words or less...

    10,000 losses !

  • At 5:37 PM, Blogger Bald Headed Geek said…

    Maureen, I hope that you are enjoying your time here on the East Coast!

    The Yankees are an enigma to me. No, I am not a fan of the team, but they have too much talent to be below .500 at this point of the season. I still think that they have a 1978-style run left in them, if only because the schedule is soft coming out of the All Star Break and that offense is bound to start bludgeoning other teams into submission eventually.

    And as a Sox fan, I'm very mindful of the fact that New York has won four of their last six against Boston.


  • At 7:04 PM, Anonymous YC's sis said…

    Thanks for recognizing the Padres stellar pitching. As you know, had our baby been a boy, she would have been named after Trevor Hoffman.

    As we have seen with the recent bench-clearing brawl, don't F with Padres Pitchers... especially the ones who are 6-10.

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