Happy game-time, lovies!!!

The offense has been as quiet as a cute little mouse thus far, and with Jeet and Jorgie out of the lineup again the pressure is increased on the rest of those losers.

GET IT TOGETHER!

Onward!

Lineup:
Pitcher: I-Ken Bruney
Damon DH
Cano 2B
Abreu RF
Rodriguez 3B
Matsui LF
Giambi 1B
Molina C
Cabrera CF
Gonzalez SS

Whilst you're waiting for the game to start, check out the latest installment in my Yankeeschickography series:
Good News, Bad News

See you in 15!

7:57pm EDT: According to Peter Abraham, Shelley the Spirit Coordinator has been optioned down to Triple-A to make room for Alberto Gonzalez (Jeet's replacement for tonight). WHERE SHALL THEY GET THE SPIRIT TO POWER THROUGH THE GAME?!

8:03pm EDT: I-Ken has been scratched and Bruney will be starting instead. WTF? Anyone know why???? These FSN peeps gave no reason.

Top First:
And we're off to the races!

Could this lineup be any more B-squad? Jeeeez.

Damon works himself a leadoff walk. RALLY IT UP DUDES.

Dear Cano,
Please do not ground into any more double plays.
Love,
Yankees Chick

Greinke gets out of the inning with ease as A-boo-boo grounds out to TPJ.

I'm excited/nervous to see how Bruney does... A surprise awesome outing would be a thrill!

Bottom First:
Same lineup as last night for the Royals, so Brunster will see Gathright, Gruzi and Teahan first.

Update: I-Ken is injured.

Not sure what's wrong with him.

Guess that wasn't a very valuable update... lo siento

Anywho.

It takes Bruney a bunch of pitches but he winds up the victor against Gathright - ground out to SS and there's one away.

Grudzoiuudsfjlk helps out the cause by sending another grounder to short.

It's starting to rain in KC, btw.

Settle down, BB: 4-pitch walk to Teahan. One on, two out and Guillen coming up to the plate.

The tarp is uncovered and ready to be rolled out on a moment's notice... steel yourself for a rain delay.

3 out! Not bad for Bruney's first outing.

Top Second:
Whether is looking nasty, folks. It's only a matter of time.

Please don't strike out, Mr -Rod.

At least he made the bat touch the ball this time. Ground out to third.

Matso Ball Soup goes after the first pitch and grounds out to Gload at first. Two speedy outs for Greinke.

They probs just want to hurry back into the dugout - it's pouring.

....And Giambi makes three. 8-pitch inning for Greinke.

Actual Useful Update (thank you commentors!): I-Ken not injured! Yanks simply didn't want to put him out there if the game was going to get rained out anyway. WHEW!

Bottom Second:
Billy Butler smacks a leadoff dub over A-Rod's head and the Royals start their half of the inning with a no-out runner in scoring position situation.

Bruney gets strikeout numero dos (hopefully of several tonight) on Gordan. One down.

Sweet slider! Gload the Toad goes down swingin'.

Striiiiike three! Third strikeout of the inning as Buckster goes down looking. Bruney is looking sharp tonight, but how deep can he go? He rarely pitches more than one. We shall see.

Top Third:
Posada's replacement, J-Mo, is hitting in the seven spot tonight and I'm pretty sure he gained 10lbs since last night.

Alright, Mo! Stand-up dub. Let's drive him in for once.

Dear Melky,
Please don't pop out with a runner is scoring position next time.
Frustartedly yours,
Yankees Chick

Alberto "Attorney General" Gonzalez flies out to right field and suddenly there are two outs. J-Mo is still hanging out on second, waiting for Damon to drive him in.

Oh COME ON. Down looking at one right down the middle? At least take a cut.

PS: Still pouring.

Bottom Third:
Well that's it for Bruney - Billy Traber has come in to pitch an inning or two.

He gets the job done on TPJ, making the poor kid 0-17.

If this game gets in amidst all this rain, how many Yankee pitchers will we see?

Strike three! Traber looks as good as Bruney, striking out Gathright for #5 of the night.

Two gone for Grudzoiusdfalkjewr.

Rain letting up according to Ryan Lefebre.

It's a 2-out single for Grudzi. Mr Teahan is up next.

Teahan takes his second walk of the night, giving Guillen two teammates on base to try to knock in.

No harm, no foul for BT: Guillen flies out to Matso Ball to end the inning and there's still no score on the board.

Let's change that in the fourth, Yanks.

I mean, in favor of the Yanks.

Don't give up runs.

Yeah.

Top Fourth:
Cano is driving me BATTY with this slump. He goes after the first pitch and grounds out.

Two outs... Abreu pops one out to Teahan.

This game is FLYING by.

Dear A-Rod,
Redeem yourself, pronto.
In admiration,
Yankees Chick

Double double! Nicely done. Clearly, he is wearing an earpiece to allow a buddy to read him my blog while he's at the plate.

Matsui on with a walk! 2-on, 2 out for Giambino.

AAAAAAND.... wasted.

Giambi pops out.

Stranded at the drive-in.

Bottom Fourth:
Billy Butler is up first.

HOLY HELL ITS FARNSWORTHLESS MAKE HIM GO AWAY.

He grounds out to A-Rod to help Farny out and soothe my hatred by a factor of just 1.5%

PS: Still raining.

God I hate this chump! Serves up a single to Alex Gordan. Abreu almost made the play on a slippery run but missed it by inches.

J-MO!!!! Our dear backup catcher throws a rocket to the Attorney General and catches A-Gor trying to run through the mud and steal second.

Two gone!

Dear Farnsworthless,
Thank you for striking out Gload. That was very nice of you and I appreciate it.
I still don't like you.
Sincerely yours,
Yankees Chick

Top Fifth:
Sounds like this game could/should be called at any moment with all this rain, but they might be hesitating because this is the only time the Yanks come to KC this year and it might rain again tomorrow. The Yanks need to put a couple on the board now so that if they call it early they can steal the win.

Molina gives Greinke a quick out by flying out to Teahan in short left. One done for Melkster.

Greinke's pitch count is right around 60 now. The Yanks need to at least get him to waste some pitches.

Another pop-up, this one on a 3-2 pitch. Two outs for A-Gonz.

There we go, Attny Genrl! Stand-up double and he's primed to score if Damon could just do something here.

FAIL.

Down on strikes.

Props to Greinke - he looks good tonight.

Still no runs for either team!

Bottom Fifth:
Impressive work by our bullpen thus far. 3 hits, 6 strike-outs, and 2 walks.

Farnster is back in again for a second inning of work. Can he keep up the good work? He better, or I will strangle him.

FAILURE! PLEASE GO AWAY!

Homer #1 for John Buck. 1-0 Royals.

TPJ gives Farn a quick out with a failed bunt attempt.

Another bunt, but this one is successful: Gathright to first.

Dear Farnsworthless,
Why must you be so terrible and so smug?
I don't know which I hate more.
Hatefully,
Yankees Chick

I-Ken is warming up out in the bullpen. Let's hope he even gets a chance to come out and pitch... I still think this game could get called at any minute.

GRUMBLE. Another perfect throw from Molina but Cano slips a tad on the mud and Gathright sneaks under the tag to get into scoring position.

Redeemed!!!! Gathright headed to third as Farny sent ball four to Grudzoiuwerjkl, but J-Mo gets the ball to A-Rod in plenty of time to catch Gath trying to steal another one.

Two away for Teahan with a man on first.

Another walk. FARNSWORTHLESS: I thought I told you to go away?

GODDAMN YOU TO HELL.

RBI triple for Guillen and the wheeeeeels are coming off.

I-Ken now please?

FINALLY. Butler grounds out to end the inning at last.

Dudes: score some f'in runs for the love of God/Allah/Moses/Buddha/Greg Graffin.

Top Sixth:
Farnsworth line: 2.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 walks, 2 ER, 1 strikeout. Failure.

THERE you go, Cano! Nice single into left field.

OK, Yanks, here's how this works: a player is on base, and then another one of you losers hits the ball in such a manner that he can advance to at least the next base. Can you handle that?

Oh COME ON. Abreu! Did you not read my previous sentence? I don't recall using the words "double play" or "fail."

Ryan Lefevbre is crediting Warren Buffet with convincing A-Rod to make the deal with the Yanks over the winter. Good work, Buff.

Buffet's buddy grounds out to third.

Yanks still not on the board!

Who's coming out to pitch now? Can it be Joba-time yet?

Bottom Sixth:
There's I-Ken!

Might be too late though if these goddamn bats don't wake up.

Leadoff walk to Alex Gordan. Settle down and zone in, IPK. This game needs you!

MATSUI! MOLINA! BAD CHILDREN!

Gload sends one flying to left field and it certainly looked like Matso Ball could have caught it - despite the wind - he sent a relay throw in to A-Gonz, who threw it to Molina, who missed the tag at home.

Gordan scores. 3-0 Royals.

Another hit?

Buck on first, still no outs.

Runners on the corners for TPJ, who's 0-18... let's try to make that 0-19. Please.

What is wrong with our team? They're playing like they don't care. I know it's only game 9 and yes, it's raining, but that's no reason to mail it in.

Pena grounds one up the middle and they get Buck, no attempt at a DP, runner scores, 4-0.

There's an out. Remember those? Gathright lines out to Melky in center and there are two away now for Grudziwerljk.

FINALLY. Grudz grounds out to A-Rod and the Yanks will have a lot of work to do in the next three innings to impress me.

What is wrong with the offense? The rain doesn't seem to be hurting the Royals too much.

Gnats and rain. Mortal enemies of the Yanks.

Top Seventh:
Matsui lines one out to Guillen in right to start the inning.

Giambi misses a homer due to the wind and then pops one into short center... and in case you've forgotten his average is .083.

Ryan Lefevbre is talking about his space heater AGAIN. We get it, it's cold there.

Molina out on a grounder. 3 up, 3 down for Greinke, who now has 7 shut-out innings.

BLIMEY!

Bottom Seventh:
I-Ken back again for another inning of work. Let's hope he can calm down a bit this time around.

The Yankee pitchers have walked Teahan three times already. Get some control, boyzos.

THAT'S what we want to see, I-Ken! Teahan down swinging.

Guillen pops one to left, and Matsui makes it to this one. 2 down, no one on for Butler.

PS: Still raining.

Walk to Butler.

Nice! Called third strike to Gordan and the inning is over. I-Ken looked shaky in the sixth, but he brought his A-game in the seventh.

Two more ups for the Yanks...

Top Eighth:
Wow, Greinke back out for the 8th. He's only pitched 97, and if the Yanks keep going at the pace they've been on he'll be out of the game at, oh, 107.

WOOOOT MELKY! He gets hit #5 for the team on a single up the middle.

Dear Yankees,
Please put the bat on the ball
(but don't hit into a double play)
Gratefully,
Yankees Chick

I said DON'T hit into a double play, A-Gonz. As in do not.

Le sigh.

Back to the top of the lineup.

Damon hits a good one into deep right, one that would easily have scored at least one run. Instead, he's aboard on second with two outs for the super-slumpin' Cano.

GODDAMN YOU.

Ground out.

8 shutout innings for Greinke!

Bottom Eighth:
Still I-Ken pitching, first to Gloady Toady.

Quick ground out. I-Ken has settled down as requested.

Two away: Buck grounds out to the Attorney General.

That was zippy! TPJ down looking and I-Ken gets himself a nice 1-2-3 inning.

Last licks for the Yanks....

...And then its taco time for the YC. Deeeelish!

Top Ninth:
Abreu, A-Rod, and Matsui shall be responsible for getting things moving here in the ninth.

Greinke finally out and the Japanese righty Yabuta is in.

Abreu works the count full but winds up grounding out. 2 more shots.

Hey, a second hit for A-Rod! Little bloop single knocks off TPJ's glove and into left.

Yabuta serves up a 1-out walk to Matso Ball and there are now runners on first and second for Giambi, for whom this would be a marvelous time to break out of his 0-1239821389 slump.

Pitching change: Jimmy Gobble (how many times did he get called "Turkey" growing up?) in to pitch to JG.

Turkey does his job, getting Giambi on an infield fly. The Yanks are down to their last out and Jose Molina is up.

Strike three.

Ballgame over, Royals win... theeeee-eeee-eee Royals win...

(say that with a sad, dejected John Sterling impersonation)

Final score 4-0. Hasta manana, munecas!