The Giambino has been having a slumperific season thus far, hitting a measly .193 and slugging just .468, and he's eager to follow in Cano's footsteps and start breaking out and laying down some hits. Some folks might think that a little extra batting practice might do the trick, or even a simple attitude adjustment (wherefore art though, Jim Fannin
?!), but such sane measures (not the Jim Fannin part... that was but a spot of humor) will not suffice for Giambi. Nay, Jason has a different method for slump-busting: a special gold thong.
Since hearing the fine folks at Sportscenter discuss this issue, I am having a very hard time burning the mental image of Giambi's ample buttocks sucked into a tiny pair of panties more appropriate for Paris Hilton or Britney Spears than a 200+ pound lunging first baseman. The worst part of this story is actually not the idea of Giambino donning the stripper undies but the fact that he has SHARED THEM with Jeter and Damon when they were in need of a pick-me-up themselves. I know baseball players tend to be superstitious, but this seems like one trick that should be kept to oneself.
PS: Dear Jason,
Perhaps you should start wearing two thongs, or a silver garter belt. You need more help.