Baseball fans are fickle folk, my friends. Like girls and their constantly fluctuating fashion trends (the Yankees Chick takes a personal stand against such things by continuing to wear the same converse shoes and ever-fading band shirts I have had for the last 10 years [that is also a stand against spending money {because I have none} and caring about crap like that {because I don't}]), baseball fans are constantly changing their minds about what they want to see in the game. Over the years fans have shifted their collective focus everywhere from bunting to pitching to home runs to stolen bases to pitching again to monster-caliber home runs, and with each "era" the players and league as a whole have done their best to keep up with the trends and show the fans what they want to see by scouting kids with desired talent (aka "the hard way") or turning a blind eye to cheating (aka "the fun way"). Ever since those aforementioned monster-caliber homers became all the rage in the nineties, most everyone seemed to take the ol' cheating route to please the fans and sell the most tickets and jerseys, and no matter how obvious the cheating was most everyone seemed to enjoy those homers way more than little things like "integrity". That is, until those cheating homer-hitters started breaking records and reminded us all that there were other people that accomplished these feats without the aid of fancy chemicals.*

This week Troy Glaus and Rick Ankiel were exposed as having been prescribed HGH and, in Glaus's case, anabolic steroids as well, both by sketchy pseudo-doctors that bring to mind that creepy dude that Benoit got his drugs from. Obviously Glaus and Rick "It's Totally Normal For a Failed Pitcher to Magically Turn Into Ryan Howard" Ankiel deny any wrong-doing, and the problem is that there really isn't a reliable test to detect HGH like there is for some other banned substances. At this point the only way to detect HGH usage is by establishing benchmarks of testosterone levels in a guy's blood and then continuing to test him periodically; if the testosterone level spikes it would indicate the use of something like HGH. Not as simple (or romantic!) as a urine test, and full of cracks (if the guy is already using HGH when the "benchmark" is taken, wouldn't that eliminate the chance of a spike?), sure, but wouldn't it be better than nothing?

As I mentioned before, baseball fans determine baseball trends based on what they like watching. With guys like A-Rod and Prince Fielder smacking homers the old fashioned way and reminding people how much fun it was to watch people break records based on talent alone, fans seem to finally be getting sick of seeing any average Joe Shmoe get beefed up on steroids and hit 30 homers a year. We've become disenchanted with watching players all try to do exactly the same thing (hit a gazillion homers) and want to see some real baseball courtesy of the A-Rods of the world. It's time for the fans to start putting some pressure on the league to take some action. Even if there isn't a reliable test now or in the immediate future, I would imagine that the public is not going to let MLB ignore these latest HGH allegations. Fans are ready for a return to baseball with integrity - - save, perhaps, for stuff like wives wearing "F- You" shirts and maybe the occasional romp with a stripper.


*I know that there are myriad things that could have been considered cheating throughout the years besides drugs/steroids/HGH, so there is no need to send me a 6-page rant detailing all of the methods of cheating available. This little commentary is a discussion of modern steroids and HGH. I'll get back to you on all the others when I complete my doctorate in Ways To Cheat In Athletics.