Now that Jorgie Porgie's spot on the team has been secured
for the next 4 years and all indications point to a 3 year deal
for Mo, we can effectively stop worrying about those two roster spots and instead start thinking about what we're going to do with those old dudes in the last years of their respective contracts. Jorgie will be 40 when his contract ends and Mariano will be close to 41
, old by any baseball standards (unless you're on the juice, or are Roger Clemens or are Roger Clemens on
the juice) but especially ancient for catchers and closers. It's possible that they'll both still be able to play well at that old age, but it is more likely that the Yanks will have to find something else for them to do. I've got some ideas...Top Ten Things Mo and Jorgie Can Do In Their Final Contract Year
10) Make daily calls to Tampa Bay to see if they will sign them once they're done with the Yanks
9) No longer afraid of not being re-signed, begin telling Steinbrenner what an ass he is. Constantly.
8) Run the stadium tours while the team is out of town (because the team surely won't be taking them on the road trips)
6) Tell stories to the youngsters about the olden times when they had to walk uphill in the snow 2 miles each way to the stadium every day.
5) Taunt Bernie by repeatedly asking him where HE is playing this year
4) Embrace new role of "token Yankee veteran" at public affairs with gusto.
3) Botox parties!!!
2) Start campaigning for coaching jobs in LA with Torre
1) Enjoy lavish retirement parties and gifts, and then un-retire.
Read last week's Top Ten: Top Ten Things The Yankees Chick Doesn't Understand About Baseball
Labels: bern bernie bern, haha...ha., happy time, jorgie porgie pudding and pie, top ten tuesdays