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Top Ten Tuesdays: You Were Right, I'm A Stupid, Clueless Whore
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
As an avid baseball fan and, more importantly, a person that considers a constant desire to learn a key component to a fulfilling life, I have done my best to investigate all aspects of this glorious sport, from the history to the intricate rules (check out the ol' Yankees Chick Baseball Glossary for my efforts at creating some nice, easy-to-understand explanations on a buncha rules). I am a smart Yankees Chicky (despite what some of my "enlightened" readers have asserted [interestingly, judging by the "ur dumb" and "show yer bewbs" comments, the ignorant, the misogynists, and the legions of sexual predators all seem to share a common bond: functional illiteracy]) but there are some baseball-related things that I either do not 100% understand or just dont know much about. Care to educate me? Hit me up in the comments.

Top Ten Things The Yankees Chick Doesn't Understand About Baseball:
10) Why aren't the guidelines about the dimensions of a ballpark stricter? Aside from the bare bones ninety-feet-between-the-bases stuff, teams can do whatever the hell they want (can I hear a "whoooa flagpole!!"). This seems strange to me.
9) How the hell does the Rule-5 draft work?! I keep vowing to figure it out so that I can add it to the glossary, but to be perfectly honest it makes my head swim.... And not in a good "mmmmm I just took a Vallium" sort of way.
8) Why do the Yankees insist on playing that horrendous, cochlea-shattering Cotton-Eyed Joe song during every game?!
7) Why dont we see player-managers anymore?
6) Why was the NBA able to work out a salary cap agreement but everyone in the baseball world seems to think that could or would never work in the MLB?
5) When we start finding out how many players have been doping for years (and we will find out), what sort of difference will it make in my own mind and for baseball as a whole?
4) Will there ever be another player like Mickey Mantle that the entire country rallied around and was loved despite his many obvious flaws?
3) What will become of A-Rod? It seems such a shame that a player of his calliber should have to face such horrible scrutiny and often unreasonable expectations, bouncing from team to team in search of a ring and some love from some fans.
2) How does the league determine when another expansion is necessary, and then how do they decide where those new teams are going? Do cities bid, like they do to host the Olympics? And once a city is chosen and they start planning for their new team, where do they get their players? Extra draft picks? Hobos?
1) Why isnt baseball as popular as football? How can Oklahoma consistently sell out their 82,000 capacity stadium for NCAA football but the Marlins cant lure in a few grand? Am I missing something? Are they giving away free Dr Pepper and lottery tickets at these football games?

Read last week's Top Ten: Top Ten Reasons A-Rod Declared Free Agency


posted by Yankees Chick @ Tuesday, November 06, 2007  
  • At 10:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Football draws more cause people in the south love their teams like they love their children and that is not over stating it...like if you told some people in the south, you can either stop rooting for Auburn or kill your kid, SOME of them would choose to kill their kid...

  • At 6:36 AM, Blogger Doug said…

    8) Cause its just kind of fun
    3) Yeah I guess its a bit of a shame except he brought it on himself (unless you assume instead of Boras essentially being his employee he has some kind of Svengali like hold on him)

  • At 6:55 AM, Blogger Luke said…

    2) I’m pretty sure that in addition to the regular draft, they have an expansion draft where they get to choose from unprotected players from the other MLB teams.

    This would also explain why expansion teams are so terrible at first…

  • At 7:02 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    8) It ain't Sweet Caroline.

    6) No idea, but part of it is probably that the NBA doesn't have the ridiculously complicated minor league system.

    5) Depends on the players--if it's the obvious ones, like Bonds and Giambino, no one's gonna care too much. If it's ones no one wants to think about--like Andy Pettitte or Derek Jeter, it will do irreparable damage.

    4) No. Our country has become much too self righteous and PC for that.

    3) I actually see the GMs or owners doing some sort of colluding and forcing him to take a massive paycut. LAA is the only place I can see him play, but it'd be a good fit for him.

    1) Baseball isn't a contact sport---well, not that sort of contact, anyway. Also, in Florida games get called half the time because of rain.

  • At 7:05 AM, Blogger Jared Dockery said…

    1) It has to be a lot easier selling out a stadium seven times a season (Oklahoma) than it is to do so 81 times a season. Plus, the Oklahoma football team is a lot better than the Marlins. Probably even at baseball.

  • At 7:07 AM, Anonymous Grady in Ohio said…

    OK - here goes...
    10. A lot of this goes WAY back in baseball history. In the old days, they built their ballparks on whatever land was available. Quite often they would be dealing with oddly shaped tracts of land, it might be bounded by a railroad yard or whatever, and they would simply make due. A great case in point is Griffith Stadium in Washington. The story goes that one stubborn property owner, in what would become deep centerfield, would not sell to make way for the new stadium. They built the park anyway, and ended up with a triangular shaped wall which jutted in. They just simply built around him. Check it out: http://www.ballparkwatch.com/stadiums/past/griffith_stadium.htm

    9. No idea. That’s what we have Cash for.

    8. Unfortunately, a trip to Yankee Stadium is cost prohibitive for a guy from Ohio. But, the ridiculously loud music is offensive, even on TV.

    7. Good question, one which I’ve wondered about from time to time. It was not unusual at one time to hand a team over to a twenty-something player. I guess one good reason is that you can’t talk to your bench coach from the shortstop position.

    6. This one’s simple. The MLB Players Association is the most powerful union in the world. They will never, ever, stand for a salary cap.

    5. We’ll use it to slam those we hate, and ignore it when mentioned in regard to those we love. See: Fox News.

    4. Probably never, due partly to the way news is reported these days. The public didn’t know Mantle’s foibles in his heyday, reporters traveled with the team by train and didn’t report such things, but the world is a much more mean spirited place in the 21st century. See: A-Rod in Toronto.

    3. I’ve never understood the disdain for A-Rod (although this latest fiasco clears things up a bit). This just might make a social psychologist reach for his/her Valium See: Jeff Gordon.

    2. Whether expansion is “necessary” is a separate debate altogether. They hold expansion drafts, where established teams must "protect" players. Yes, the process is not unlike the Olympics, with presentations and so on. Quite often it boils down to politics. See: Washington Nationals (I know, not really expansion, but kind of.)

    1. Football has done a far better job of connecting with America’s youth than has MLB. I think that there’s a lot to the argument that MLB’s scheduling of their important games, and the fact that kids are in bed when they finish, has really hurt. Generations lost. Antitrust legislation is the only thing which can save the idiot owners from themselves. (And forget about Oklahoma. Come to Big Ten country where Ohio State, Michigan, Penn State, et al attract 100,000 plus every game).

    Sorry this is so long, but it was fun.

  • At 7:58 AM, Anonymous Brian said…

    Well I gotta say, I'm really all about the baseball, not much into football, and I jsut moved to NC and everyone here is a football nut. I don't get it personally, someone once explained it as "One football game is like 13 baseball games in 1 hour", looking at it that way, I could see why people would get more pumped for it. The reason the Marlins cant sell out ever is because no one wants to sit 3 almost 4 hours to see a team lose, and got an under .500 team, so they usually will.

  • At 9:56 AM, Blogger Eric said…

    Wow, some good questions, and grady in ohio hit a lot of them on the head. Here's some more input:

    10) They did build a lot of them in neighborhoods on existing city blocks (see Wrigley Field, Fenway Park) and they still sorta do. Safeco Field here in Seattle is constricted by the three streets and a railroad line around it, but the area was still big enough that the park is still pretty big. I do believe though that the newer parks have to have certain distances down the lines, unless the space they're in makes it impossible.

    9) Here's the expalanation on the Rule 5 draft from ESPN.com: Eligibility: A player not on a team's Major League 40-man roster is eligible for the Rule 5 draft if: the player was 18 or younger when he first signed a pro contract and this is the fourth Rule 5 draft since he signed, OR if he was 19 or older when he first signed a pro contract and this is the third Rule 5 draft since he signed.

    A player drafted onto a Major League roster in the Rule 5 draft must remain in the majors (on the 25-man active roster or the DL) for all of the subsequent season, or the drafting club must attempt to return him to his original club. However, since a returned Rule 5 player must first be placed on outright waivers, a third club could claim the player off waivers. But of course, that club would then also have to keep him in the majors all season, or offer him back to his original club.

    Occasionally, the drafting club will work out a trade with the player's original team, allowing the drafting club to retain the player but send him to the minors.

    8) No idea, I haven't been to a Yankees game there yet, but we have a guy who does "Bad Dancing" to that song when they play it during Mariner's blowouts....

    7) Good question, a team could save salary on that. I'm surprised the small-market teams haven't done that yet.

    6) Grady hit it on the nail here, the union is so much more powerful than any of the other sports unions. A great book to read about this is "Lords of the Realm" by John Helyar. It may sound like dry reading but it is really interesting and has some great stories in it.

    5) I think we may be amazed at how many of the "average" players were using the stuff. It will probably hurt baseball for a while, but things like this seem to be forgiven after a while, especially if it's a player you like. Balco Barry on the other hand...

    4) I doubt it, it's so hard for any public figure to keep their private life private anymore, and sadly there will always be someone ready to rip them down.

    3) Collusion sounds good to keep his salary down, but it only takes one idiot to give him the huge contract he wants. He did say in spring training how much he likes being the highest paid player, so he's obviously got the right agent for that. I'm glad the Yankees have cut him off, they can concentrate on getting 2-3 players for the money they were going to pay him and get back to that type of team they had in the late 90's, the type where they all had to contribute to be successful, and not just wait for one guy to carry them.

    2) I doubt we'll see expansion in the near future, I wonder how many more markets could support a team. Maybe Vegas, but there's that whole gambling thing. When the NL expanded with Arizona, Colorado, Florida, etc. they held "drafts" where teams protected a certain number of players, then the new teams drafted form the unprotected lists. When a player was picked the teams then could pull a few more back to protect. I think at the most a team lost 2-3 players. Then they got draft picks as well obviously.

    1) Football just seems to be more popular now, plus they only play once a week which allows the anticipation for a game to build. With baseball they play all the time, which is great, but there's the feeling that if you miss one game you just have to wait a day or two to see the next one. Plus the Marlins just don't draw fans, whether it's the stadium, the team, or more things to do down there I don't know.

    These were some great questions!

  • At 10:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You should have named this list "10 reasons I shouldn't be writing about baseball".

    8) It ain't Sweet Caroline.

    Yep, sweet caroline is a bad song that's fun to sing. Cotton eye joe is just embarrassing.

  • At 11:04 AM, Anonymous manny being manny said…

    Wow, Grady did such a good job explaining I can't really say much, but I will weigh in on A-Rod.

    I agree with Rebecca that he will most likely land in Anaheim.

    1. After the Angels were slapped around by the Red Sox this post season (and I swear I only bring it back to the Sox to make a point), their offensive flaws were exposed the most and I can only assume, if their fan base cares enough, that a mass lynch mob will riot if Arte Moreno refuses to get any help for Vladamir Guerrero.

    2. If he's going to be signed to a 10-year contract, he absolutely cannot be picked up by an NL team. I'm sorry, he's in great shape, yada, yada, yada, but you can't assume that as a 40-year old he can play third base well enough. It's not the position you can just hide an inept fielder. That's why I say the Dodgers aren't a good fit.

    3. The Los Angeles market will serve two purposes for Alex. First, it will allow him to avoid a rabid media, play in front of a fan base that "is just happy to make the playoffs," and explore the LA market for endorsement possibilities, and even a foray into La-La land.

    4. The obvious opening at third base. Chone Figgins is a defensive liability anywhere, so they might as well hide him in the outfield. Macier Izturis doesn't seem ready for full time duty. And Dallas MacPhearson might not ever be the same after battling back problems. The Angels both a spot in the field, and a spot in the lineup for A-Rod.

    5. Because he's leaving Cynthia to run away with The Yankees Chick.

  • At 11:23 AM, Anonymous young joe mighty said…

    so you think you're not a clueless whore? you don't even know what the rule 5 draft is and people invite you on for interviews. you think it's cause of your baseball knowledge? no it's because you show off your boobs and cleavage and cake your face with more makeup than heath ledger will have in the dark knight in order to distract from the fact that you know next to nothing about baseball and just regurgitate news stories.

    you thinkn anyone would give a shit if exactly the same blog was written by a guy or a fat chick?

    ps i think peter abraham wants to get into your pants

  • At 11:53 AM, Anonymous Rich said…

    I think Pete Abraham wants a meatball sub.

  • At 12:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Very, very classy Mr. Mighty. I'll bet you were a straight "A" student. Both hands on the keyboard, OK?

  • At 12:42 PM, Anonymous Joe said…

    Yankees Chick,

    I can tell yo why the Marlins can't draw a crowd. First, the area that the Stadium is in is HORRIBLE. I try to avoid that area at all costs. Good luck finding anyone nearby that can speak a lick of English.

    Also, South Florida is filled with New Yorkers or Bostonians! We're all Yankees or Red Sox fans!

    Finally, the Marlins had a decent following when they had their first Championship Team. Wayney-Blockbuster-Hizinga tore apart the team so I guess Marlins fans (being the band-wagon fans they were to begin with) stop caring.

  • At 12:56 PM, Blogger Yankees Chick said…

    thanks mr mighty :) I wasn't aware that a person had to know every single thing about everything in the world in order to blog. I will keep that info under my hat.

  • At 7:23 PM, Blogger ajgdrums7814 said…

    Football is more popular because there aren't "small-market" teams in football. Football distributes revenue evenly between all the teams, whereas baseball is divided into regions. That's why big-market teams like the Yankees, Red Sox, Angles, Dodgers, Cubs, Mets, White Sox, etc. have such a big advantage over teams like the Royals, Marlins, Twins, Athletics etc.

    Football games are nationally broadcasted on CBS, FOX, NBC and ESPN. Baseball games are on regionally. The Yankees can start their own tv network. The Giants and Jets can't. The Yankees reap all the benefits from that. That's a direct product of them playing in a larger market.

    That's why the Yankees can spend $200 million dollars...they play in the biggest market in the country, and hold advantages over small-market teams.

    In football, "small-market" teams like the Packers, Jaguars, etc. get the same amount of revenue as the large-market teams, so they aren't at a disadvantage. This means they have an equal chance to be competitive, which means fans will go out to see them.

    There isn't much chance of the Royals making a nice run anytime soon (it would appear, at least), so KC fans don't want to spend money to go out to the ballpark.

    It makes sense.

  • At 1:21 PM, Blogger Bald Headed Geek said…

    Do you really get those kinds of disgusting, misogynistic comments? I gues that you do. That is really pathetic...........


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