Top Ten Tuesdays are always fun times for the Yankees Chick (writing thoughts down in a coherent paragraph-style format is totally overrated and requires entirely too much effort), but today is double the fun because there has been so much going on in baseball-ville that I couldn't limit myself to just one list. Earlier today I crafted a sincere list depicting my admiration for that team of dudes that won the World Series, but now it is time to turn our attention to the topic that is at the forefront of our minds: what the hell is wrong with A-Rod? What are we to make of this? Is there a purpose to life? Where are you, God/Moses/Allah/Greg Graffin?!?! GUIDE ME!

Top Ten Reasons A-Rod Declared Free Agency
10) He and Torre were involved in a sordid love affair and he's fleeing town to get away from the bad memories.
9) Phil Helmuth came after him to collect some old hold 'em debt and he needed extra cash.
8) Cynthia was eager to show off her "Fuck You" tank top in a new town.
7) He was frightened - and rightfully so - of dealing with 3 Steins instead of just 1.
6) It's all a conspiracy cooked up by Boras and Stein: A-Rod will re-sign with Texas then get traded back to the Yanks, leaving the genius Texas Bosses to pay $89234890234 per year.
5) He gets a kick out of challenging the New York Post to create the stupidest insulting pun headlines ever.
4) Since so much of New York already hated him, he figured it was time to embrace the hatred and scrutiny of a new town.
3) He recognized the fact that for the past 2 years the Yankees Chick has been defending him staunchly to his every detractor, and it's opposite day so his method of thanking her is to opt out.
2) Scott Boras is a greedy, selfish, sonofabitch.
1) He is a jackass.


Read today's first Top Ten: Top Ten Nice Things I'd Like To Say About the Red Sox