There are reasons galore that a person with a sense of humor could and SHOULD love Jose Canseco
- his incredible appearance on Surreal Life, the fact that he met his wife at Hooters (the Yankees Chick's true career goal [if only they allowed non-synthetic boobs]), his heroic saving of a stray owl that found its way onto the baseball field in Texas, the alleged marriage proposal from Madonna (she's a
juice girl! [worst. joke. ever.]), the legendary home-run-off-the-top-of-his-head incident, his brief pitching "career" which ruined his elbow, to name a few - and I for one cannot turn my back to anything such a man has to say
. He's arguably the most vocal cheater this side of Gaylord Perry, and he has absolutely no qualms about outing other juicers or just speculating about folks he "is pretty sure" or "has a damn hunch - and my instincts are honed
, man" used steroids. He used his 2005 book "Juiced
" to call out the likes of Giambino, Palmiero, McGwire, and Pudge Rodriguez, explaining that he personally injected them with delicious, delicious steroids
, and when the Mitchell Report became public he expressed just a tad bit of disgust with what he deemed the "incomplete" list provided by Senator "LOLZ constituents I tricked you into thinking I cared about your interests, muahahhahahah!" Mitchell. He's apparently been holding onto something of a stockpile of more scoop/evidence on players that he didn't call out in "Juiced
" and now that the Mitchell Report failed to do the work for him, he's returning to the ol' writin' desk (I imagine he writes his manuscripts on an old roll-top desk with parchment and a quill) to produce a part deux, to possibly be titled "Vindicated".
He promises that this book will have even more juicy juice evidence and is adamant that he has definitive information that my dear A-Rod is a cheater cheater pumpkin eater
. I like Canseco, love his willingness to rival any tabloid as far as vocalizing rumors, and could never see that goddamn homer-off-the-head video enough times, but I am having a hard time believing that A-Rod used/uses steroids. Luckily, the book is supposed to be out by opening day, so I shan't have to wait too long to verify the veracity of Jose's claims.
Obviously he plans to use the A-Rod scoop as his piece de resistance
for the book, and I sure do hope that Jose is either utterly wrong or even just blatantly lying
about it - either way works for me.