I was quite keyed up with excitement all afternoon in anticipation of the 60 Minutes feature with Roger Clemens (because, as you should certainly have realized by now, the Yankees Chick has
no life whatsoever and henceforth such things are the highlight of not only the day but perhaps the week!), but after watching it
I simply must say that I am quite disappointed. I don't really know what I was expecting - surprise evidence against McNamee? Shocking blood test records from the past 20 years showing a complete lack of unnatural substances (save for that B12 and lidocaine!) in his system? - so perhaps I shouldn't be disappointed, but
who among us wasn't holding out a little hope for something a tad more dramatic?For those of you who didn't tune in, you did not miss much. Mike Wallace asked relatively "soft" questions and
Clemens provided adamant denials. The entire transcript can be read
here, but here are a few highlights (with some YC commentary.... of course):
CLEMENS: I'm angry that what I've done for the game of baseball and the personal, in my private life, what I've done that I I don't get the benefit of the doubt. The stuff that's being said, it's ridiculous. It's hogwash for people to even assume this. 24, 25 years Mike. You'd think I'd get an inch of respect. An inch. How, how can you prove your innocence?
a) Hogwash = new favorite word
b) I agree that it seems tough, if not impossible, to prove your innocence. In "real life court", if no one can come up with any
actual evidence, the man would be considered not guilty, but even if there never proves to be any evidence I sadly see no way for Clemens to ever completely remove the cloud of suspicion.
CLEMENS If I have these needles and these steroids and all these drugs, what, where did I get ‘em? Where is the person out there gave ‘em to me? Please, please come forward.
a) Yes, please do come forward.
CLEMENS: My body never changed. If he's putting that stuff up in my body, if what he's saying which is totally false, if he's doing that to me, I should have a third ear coming out of my forehead. I should be pulling tractors with my teeth.
a) Please, PLEASE,
PLEASE, somebody, anybody, find me a picture of someone that grew a third ear after taking steroids. I was truly unaware of that traumatic side effect.
b) If is point is that if he had done steroids we would have noticed a change in his body a la Balco Barry, I see his point, but do ALL steroids/"banned substances" have a head-increasing and/or third-ear-growing effect on everyone?
c) How do we know he CAN'T pull tractors with his teeth? I say harness him up and make him prove he can't do it.
CLEMENS: He [McNamee] emails me [right before the report came out] and asks me where all the good fishing equipment is down at Cabo that I bought so he can go fishing. Thank you very much. I said, Have a good time, go fishing. Doesn't say a word that you, that you know I'm fixing to bury you with all these accusations and what do we do about it. Didn't say a word about it. That's what pisses me off.
a) That IS quite a jackass move.
WALLACE: What, hold, what did McNamee gain by lying?
CLEMENS : Evidently not going to jail.
WALLACE: Jail time for what?
CLEMENS : Well, I think he's been buying and movin' steroids.
a) Actually
not a terrible theory. Semi-desperate on Clemens' part? Sure... but better than a simple "I dunno... he's just a liar".
b) This also begs the question: Are these trainers going to get in any sort of trouble for being a party to this illegal activity?
WALLACE : Swear?
CLEMENS : Swear.
a) Case Closed!!
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You are on to something with this "Third ear sprouting from the forehead" thing. As far as we've all heard, steroids don't cause new parts to show up but your old parts seem to wither away. I think he should get a line up of all the old ladies from his life, drop his pants, and let them decide if he used steroids or not. He wants to clear his name, right? Let him stand before that jury...