Greetings from the sanatorium, friends and foes! Thank y'all for the kind emails--I haven't been lobotomized via an ice pick through my eye socket a la Rose Kennedy, so I'll consider it a success.

I must say that I really did select a perfect time to be out of commission, as there is jack shit going on in the baseball world. It seems as though the only thing I've "missed" (and let's use that word loosely here, folks) is a few additional chapters in the Clemens vs. McNameanie vs. Dandy Andy vs. Baseball Fans saga, and to have an excuse to ignore that is the best luck a gal could ask for!

This is not to say that I haven't been keeping up with the dramarama. I'm sucked into the vortex and can't get out, so there's no way even a doctor's orders could keep me away. At this point we all know the story so there is no need to re-hash it here, but in my readings of various recaps, analyses, and synopses, I've come accross some "words of wisdom" from several of the involved parties that may rival my previously declared Best Quote Ever, that of Sir Sly Stallone and his romantic relationship with HGH. You make the call:

"I'm very thankful and grateful for this day to come. I'm glad for the opportunity finally. And, you know, I hope I get, and I know I will have the opportunity to come here to Washington again under different terms." -Roger Clemens

"Andy Pettitte is my friend. He was my friend before this. He will be my friend after this again. I think Andy has misheard. I think he misremembers." -Rog again

"I have to live with myself. And one day, I have to give an account to God and not to nobody else of what I've done with my life." -Dandy Andy

"It's hard to believe you, sir. I hate to say that. You're one of my heroes. But it's hard to believe." -Representative Elijah Cummings, to the Rocket.

"I told the investigators I injected 3 people, two of whom I know confirmed my account. The 3rd is sitting at this table." -Brian McNameanie

"You're here under oath, and yet we have heard lie after lie" -Representative Dan Burton