Question: Who is 45 years old, fat, gout-stricken, owns a hunting lodge with Kirk Gibson, adores a good martini and wants to pitch for the Yankees?

Answer: None other than our old and dearly beloved friend David "Drunky McDrunkerson Perfect Game" Wells!

That's right, munecas, Boomer has been working out in San Diego and has expressed an interest in making a return trip to New York for a second third stint pitching for the Yanks. For his part, Hank Steinbrother has admitted that he has considered the possibility, and I'd imagine that with I-Ken taking a (hopefully helpful...) breather down in AAA and Hughes on vacation at the DL Resort and Casino (playing $2/4 hold 'em and laying down some bets on the Marlins) Hankster's interest is peaking. He said he hasn't discussed it with the Cash Man yet, but since taking the reigns from his pop he hasn't seemed to give much of a hoot about Cash's ideas or input; Hank calls the shots these days and if he decides he wants Boomer, I have a feeling it won't matter much what Cash thinks - he'll sign him.

After watching Kei Igawa pitch yesterday (if you can call that pitching... I think "gentle lobbing intended to give the Tigers a lovely batting practice session" is more appropriate), I would have no problem putting Wellsy on that mound. He's been rocking a 4-5.00ish ERA over the last couple years, and if the Yanks could count on that and focus on giving him some decent run support, I'd say that would be a lovely arrangement.

What dost thou think?