This is old news by now, but I forgot to mention...

After a full season of not listening to a word he had to say, the Steins have decided to bring the Cash Man back for another 3 seasons of futile efforts to bolster the farm system and make decent trades without screwing the team for the next 18 years. Cash's decision to stick around and give it another whirl was apparently influenced by this year's failure: he didn't want to walk away on a down note.

I guess that means he's got three years to whip this team into shape and get himself a ring. What's the first move? Are we still banking on CC, or did yesterday's meltdown remind us that after the number of pitches he threw for the Brewsters this year his arm may actually be ready to fall off?

To: cyyoung_sabathia@indians.com
CC: bDAWGcashman@yankees.com; steinbrothers@yankees.com; girardino@yankees.com
From: info@yankeeschick.com
Subject: SOS - we need help

Dearest CC,

I'm sure you've heard by now about our latest fallen soldier, our ace of cakes Chien Ming Wangster. The basepaths proved too much to handle - I'm sure you have have experienced the hardship of having to turn corners during your limited interleague play. Word has come from the Powers That Be that the Wangster's foot is in bad shape, and while he won't have to undergo surgery, he'll be taking an extended vacation at the DL Resort and Casino - at least 6 weeks, to be exact.

CC, this puts the Yanks in a bad spot. Surely you have taken notice of the starting pitching problems the team has had even with Wang in the rotation, what with Hughsie and I-Ken taking a serious dive and Pettitte getting off to a slow start. Moose has stepped up to the plate and Rasner has been effective; Jobastartamania has thankfully worked out well thus far but that still leaves us with a few cross-your-fingers-and-hope games every week. With Wang out now, I have a sinking feeling we'll be seeing Kei Igawa back in pinstripes at any time now, and that can't be good for anybody. Who else is there, after all? I suppose there's Dan Geise or maybe Ohledork, but they are not seasoned starters.

YC good pal Peter Abraham made a good point, reminding us that with the way the Yanks' schedule works out, if Wang comes back in precisely six weeks there will only be 5 games for which we need to fill his spot in the rotation. That's good news, but 5 games is 5 games, and like I said, the Yanks have been having trouble with their starters even when Wang's foot was functioning at full capacity. This is where you come in.

I'd like to see how you would feel about making a move to the Bronx and busting out some pinstripe garb. Let's be honest here: your team is 4 games under .500 and 5.5 games out of first place in the division... you most likely won't be playing baseball in October with the Indians, but you might have a shot if you join Girardi and the gang. I have no doubt that you could make a huge impact on the Yanks' season, even though you've had a semi-slow start. You'll have a winning record in no time, and I'd love to see you do that with the Yanks.

Cash, Steinbrothers, and Girardino, please take note. The season lies in your hands.

Love,

Maureen/The Yankees Chick

The Yanks have been having serious issues scoring runs and winning games lately, no question about it. They've lost 5 of their last 8 games, and after their win tonight they are still a game under .500. With A-Rod and Posada out of the lineup - and their replacements playing about as well as my nephew's t-ball team (save for the running bases in the opposite direction) - it's no surprise that they're having trouble, and the shaky back end of the rotation (I'm looking at you, I-Ken and Hughsie [and YOU, Kei Igawa. RIGHT AT YOU]) hasn't been helping the team's cause either. Neither Girardi nor the boys themselves seem too concerned about the current situation... but guess who is?

If you guessed Howlin' Hank Steinbrother, you are correct!! He seems to have taken a class in diplomacy from Ozzie Guillen, or, as I have oft speculated, was simply born without that all-too-important "oh, perhaps I shouldn't say that" filter in his brain. Here's his latest:

We’ve got to forget about all the injuries and start playing our butts off. The bottom line is that the team is not playing the way it is capable of playing. These players are being paid a lot of money and they had better decide for themselves to earn that money. This is going to get turned around. If it’s not turned around this year, then it will be turned around next year, by force if we have to.”

What does he plan on doing to "force" a turnaround? Is he going to start busting heads? I hope no one gave him a shilelagh for Christmas.

...Although that'd be kind of fun to watch. Please direct him towards Pavano first.

Question: Who is 45 years old, fat, gout-stricken, owns a hunting lodge with Kirk Gibson, adores a good martini and wants to pitch for the Yankees?

Answer: None other than our old and dearly beloved friend David "Drunky McDrunkerson Perfect Game" Wells!

That's right, munecas, Boomer has been working out in San Diego and has expressed an interest in making a return trip to New York for a second third stint pitching for the Yanks. For his part, Hank Steinbrother has admitted that he has considered the possibility, and I'd imagine that with I-Ken taking a (hopefully helpful...) breather down in AAA and Hughes on vacation at the DL Resort and Casino (playing $2/4 hold 'em and laying down some bets on the Marlins) Hankster's interest is peaking. He said he hasn't discussed it with the Cash Man yet, but since taking the reigns from his pop he hasn't seemed to give much of a hoot about Cash's ideas or input; Hank calls the shots these days and if he decides he wants Boomer, I have a feeling it won't matter much what Cash thinks - he'll sign him.

After watching Kei Igawa pitch yesterday (if you can call that pitching... I think "gentle lobbing intended to give the Tigers a lovely batting practice session" is more appropriate), I would have no problem putting Wellsy on that mound. He's been rocking a 4-5.00ish ERA over the last couple years, and if the Yanks could count on that and focus on giving him some decent run support, I'd say that would be a lovely arrangement.

What dost thou think?

In addition to my usual Yankees Chick posts, I have also begun writing regularly for AOL's FanHouse blog on all things AL East. I will post the beginnings of those articles here on YC, and then you'll have to click the link to jump on over to FH to read the rest... stick with me here, amigos!
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If you've been hanging out in a dark, isolated cave without the technological wonders of cable television, internet, telephone, radio or carrier pigeons, check out the previous episodes in this "Cashman vs Steinbrenner: Should Joba Chamberlain be put into the rotation right away?" saga before you read on:

Part the first: Hank Steinbrenner calls Cash an "idiot" for not having Joba start to begin with
Part deux: Cash responds by saying no sir
Part tres: ...making Hank backpedal as he realizes what an idiot HE sounds like

All caught up? Good! Onward!

Continue Reading Rotation vs 'Pen: Joba Weighs In

I don't know about y'all, but sometimes I forget what a nutcase Hank Steinbrother has proved himself to be. Without fail, though, he reminds me that he has that birth defect that prohibited the "crazy talk filter" from ever developing in his brain.

The latest catalyst for some sweet Hankster tiradin' comes courtesy of the failing starting rotation (not you, Dandy Andy and Wanginator) and the (always!) excellent performance of Jobamania. Like many Yanks fans, Hank wants to put to transition Joba into the rotation ASAP and let him supply the team with not just an inning here and there but six or seven every five days.

That position isn't scandalous in and of itself, obviously - in fact, most of Hank's great lines aren't awesome because of what he's saying but how he's saying it and the words he uses. This time, as he explains how badly he wants to put Joba in the rotation, he throws a little blame at the Cash Man and Torre for their decision to put him in the bullpen last year:

I want him as a starter and so does everyone else, including him, and that is what we are working toward and we need him there now. There is no question about it, you don't have a guy with a 100-mile-per-hour fastball and keep him as a setup guy. You just don't do that. You have to be an idiot to do that... The mistake was already made last year switching him to the bullpen out of panic or whatever. I had no say in it last year and I wouldn't have allowed it.

An idiot? Is that really necessary? As far as I can see, the point of starting him in a relief capacity was two-fold: shore up the bullpen (what do you want, Hank? To rely on Farnsworthless to set up for Mariano?!) and save the arm of arguably the best young pitcher in the league. It seems to me that that move was extremely successful and not idiotic in the slightest.

But that's just me.

Is Hank Right?
	Yes. IDIOTS.
	No. I'm With You, YC
	Joba Who? I Got to This Site By Accident.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

It looks like being an Equal Opportunity Employer means you can't ask prospective construction workers which baseball team holds their heart and loyalty.

Blast.

I'm sure you've heard by now about all the "curse attempt" hoopla that's been going on at the Yankee Stadium construction site. The short version, in case you've missed it: One of the construction workers came forward ratting out a couple of his coworkers, saying that a few hooligans had buried a Big Papi jersey in the concrete in hopes of cursing the Yanks; the Yankees responded by proclaiming the news as untrue, but then ended up believing the tattle-tale employees after all once they pinpointed the exact location it was entombed in concrete. The jersey was subsequently unearthed today.

A couple thoughts on this idiocy:

a) Anyone that honestly believes in curses should be banned from baseball fandome forever, on account of extreme stupidity.

b) Why a Papi jersey? Is that really the best they could come up with?

c) These dudes would be wise to watch their backs on the job from now on. Or seek new jobs... Cleaning the Green Monster perhaps?

I've saved the best part for last: Hal Steinbrother's reaction!

I hope his co-workers kick the shit out of him

I'm pretty sure this is the first time Hank has allowed his brother to speak publicly, and I salute him.

Amen.

As you probably know by now, the stadium in which the Yanks play during Spring Training, Legends Field, has been renamed in honor of Big Stein. The newly christened George M. Steinbrenner Field was unveiled yesterday and joins a street and a high school as places in Tampa bearing Big Stein's name.

That's right, there is a high school named after Big Stein opening its doors in 2009. PSA: Yankees Chick University opens in 2010 offering an extensive list of majors, including Making Up Nicknames for Baseball Players and Making Fun of Carl Pavano.

Back to the matter at hand: Peter Abraham brought up a good point yesterday regarding Big Stein's character. The man is a bit of an enigma (Stein, not PA). He's impressed me with his generosity many times - just in the last year he has paid for the funerals of the unfortunate folks who died in a fire near Yankee Stadium, donated money to Virgina Tech, and played an exhibition game to boost the spirit at the aforementioned school.

On the other hand, he's also a confirmed jackass. There's the firings, the threats of firings, his complete lack of internal filter when it comes to saying the often mean things on his mind, the unwarranted and super sketchy investigation of Dave Winfield, the campaign donation to NIXON... it makes it hard to focus on the generosity. The Nixon donation alone is enough to turn YC off.

What do you think? Should he be honored? Despite the jackassery, I'm leaning towards yes, but not just because of the nice things he's done for the community. Strictly based on his Yankees-related work, I think he deserves such an honor. His team has been an overall success over the years, and without him at the helm they wouldn't have had all the money to expend on improvements. And by "improvements," I mean Raul Mondesi.

There's a (well-earned, generally speaking) perception that Spring Training games are meaningless, reserved for getting veterans in shape while the younger players scratch and claw their way towards the goal of a roster spot, or just to impress management. Today's Yankees game at Virgina Tech was anything but meaningless. After donating a million dollars to the school after the horrific shootings, Big Stein proved again that he can indeed be a class act by arranging for his team to head up to VA to play a benefit game against the Hokies (sidenote: what is a Hokie? And while I'm on the college nickname train, what is a Tar Heel? Are there a lot of tar pits in North Carolina that I don't know about?). Even better, the Yanks didn't send just send a few guys up as representatives to show they cared - a majority of the projected starting roster made the trip.

By all accounts the game was an amazing experience. The Yankees were proud to be part of the rebuilding effort, the Tech players were living a dream in playing against the likes of Jeter and A-Rod and the school community got into the spirit 100%.

Enough articles have been written about the game by this point, so there's really no need for me to say much more, but I'd like to tip my lovely Yankees cap to the Three Steinmeteers for putting this together. It's a credit to their collective character that they were willing to put their team's training aside for a day and do something to benefit others.

Earlier today I wrote about Nick Markakis being dissatisfied with his low pay raise, but someone should let the guy know that things could be worse - he could be making league minimum.

That's the boat in which our dear Jobamania is sailing. Despite his fantastic season, the Yankees determined that he was not worth a dime more than they were forced to throw at him, which is $390,000. For most of us regular Joes/Joe-ettes, such a sum would be more than sufficient for our needs (copious amounts of Diet Dr Pepper and black eyeliner, in my case), but when it comes to baseball just about every player earns more than that after their first year.

To be fair, Joba is still technically a rookie - he didn't pitch enough innings last year to take him out of that category - and the Yankees weren't obligated to boost his salary. Only players that have been with the team for at least three seasons are eligible for arbitration, so there was no bargaining possible. Even so, would it have killed Stein and his Steinettes to throw a couple G's at the kid? This is how they thank him for saving the day and helping the team to the playoffs? Forget the gnats. That kid was KEY to the end of the season!

Let's just hope Stein is more generous with me when he wisely determines that the YC should become the team's personal blogger. I'm thinking www.steinlovesveterans.com.

FanHouse Minute is your 60-second rundown of the top five headlines of the day. Check back here every weekday morning for the latest.

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Read more:
5. Carl Edwards Goes 2 for 2
4.Florida's Got Their Work Cut Out
3. Steelers Joining Free Agent Hunt
2. Make Ewing the Knicks' New Coach!
1. Red Sox Nation Welcomes Hank

The lovely ladies of FanHouse Minute:
Mondays: Yankees Chick
Tuesdays: Miss Gossip
Wednesdays: Kate Scott
Thursdays: Kristine
Fridays: Mystery Lady

You know that little part of your brain that stops you before you blurt out shit you might regret? The filter that prevents you from saying "damn your best friend is way hotter than you" or "I could do your job much better than you do, boss"?

Hank Stein does not have that filter. It was left out, a birth defect ... similar to the defect that causes people to wind up Republican.

In an interview with New York Times Play magazine (ps: has anyone ever heard of it and/or read it?), he gave some delightfully colorful commentary on the Red Sox and their Nation:

"Red Sox Nation? That was a creation of the Red Sox and ESPN, which is filled with Red Sox fans. Go anywhere in America and you won't see Red Sox hats and jackets, you'll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. We're going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order."

It's the new Best. Quote. Ever. Thank god Greg Graffin for the no-filter birth defect.

In addition to my usual Yankees Chick posts, I have also begun writing regularly for AOL's FanHouse blog. I will post the beginnings of those articles here on YC, and then you'll have to click the link to jump on over to FH to read the rest... stick with me here, amigos!
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Brian Cashman has had to deal with threats of being fired several times now -- what with all of the playoff busts -- but now that Big George Steinbrenner has surrendered much of his control to his sons, the firing talk has simmered down and extension talk has taken its place. Hank Steinbrenner, who has proven himself to be much more level-headed than his father when it comes to matters like hiring and firing (not to mention trades), has confirmed that he is open to discussions about a contract extension for The Cash Man.

Continue reading Hank Wants More Cash(Man)

February is drawing to a close, and as we head into March, I must say that all seems right in the world at long last. I've been sprung from the clink, the boys are throwing the ball around down in Tampa, and Pavano has made his annual weak "See, world? I'm totally still a pitcher! Change my label from "Pavano must die" to "Pavano must LIVE" again, YC!" performance. Perhaps I'm simply projecting my glee over being free from the clutches of doctors (not to mention phlebotomists, YC's blood's mortal enemy), but I am feeling ridiculously positive about the upcoming season - and I think y'all should feel the same way. Need a reason? I've got ten of them!

Top Ten Reasons To Be Optimistic About The 2008 Yanks:

10) I-Ken
9) Joe Girardi
8) Santana is safely sequestered in Queens
7) Posada's still looking sharp. Age shmage.
6) Hughsie
5) There are no talks of bringing Bonds to the team.
4) Joba.
3) The Steinbrothers have shown they are not as quick as Papa to make big trades.
2) They are hungry for a title. Starving. Salivating. (Now I'm starving... for In N Out).
1) A-Rod.


Read last week's Top Ten: Baseball-Related Stuff I Miss

Seven years is a long stretch for spoiled Yankees fans (oxymoron). That is, as you are surely all too aware, the number of years that have passed since the Yankees last won themselves a beautiful bling-alicious World Series ring, years made all the more painful by the fact that those seven teams didn't simply fail to win a championship but crushed our souls by making it to the playoffs and then blowing it. Big time.

Take a moment to yourself and do a little gentle sobbing. I'll wait.

Ready? Moving on now:

The Yanks have been the divisional favorite for the majority of the past 10+ years, with the Red Sox serving as the default underdogs- I say "default" because there have been years in which the Bosox team was just as good as the Yanks', but the Yanks were looked at as the perennial champs. The teams have been talented, but being favored obviously didn't do too much (or anything) to boost the team's chances of winning. Personally, I'm convinced that 'twas the cockiness of those old-folk-infested teams that damned them- but that's a topic for another day. On the other hand, being tagged as second-place finishers has worked well for the Sox. They have pulled off some obnoxious comebacks (more gentle sobbing) and actually thrived in the same period that the Yanks have continued to falter.

This year, most statisticians, analysts, and many writers are pegging the Sox as division champions and Spring Training hasn't even started rolling yet. It would be a tad far-fetched to think of the Yankees as underdogs, but in effect, they are- in relation to the Red Sox anyway.

Their "underdog" status actually goes along well with the mojo of the Yankes this year. They've got a bevy of youngsters, a hip young manager (Girardino better act hip now, and prove me right. Put on those True Religion jeans, Joe [that was a transparent subliminal message to any YC reader that works for TR that I like but cannot afford their fine products]) and now a challenge: beat the Red Sox the hard way- from the underdog position.

I'm anticipating a huge year for the team. Feelin' positive, lovin' the youngsters, appreciating the veterans, jazzed about A-Rod, and happy with the Steinbrothers' decision to go with Girardi as hip young manager. They may not be "the favorite" for 2008, but I'd watch my back if I were a Red Sock. Sox. Whatever.

Happy 2008, my delightful friends and foes! I hope your night was one of wholesome Monopoly-playing and included neither drunken debauchery nor sobbing over a glass of champagne about your relationships/work/weight/family/lack of Spice Girls reunion show tickets. Many folks look at the dawn of a new year as a time to take stock of their lives and make a commitment to change (commitments that will be forgotten by February 1st or at the latest the beginning of Spring), and I see no reason why a baseball club shouldn't do the same. The Yanks have been working on improving the team all off-season, of course, but I think that making some solid resolutions - and sticking with them at least through the summer - couldn't hurt.

Top Ten New Years Resolutions The Yanks Should Consider

10) Burn Giambi's glove so that if Girardi gets confused and accidentally tries to have him play first base, Jason will have to say "no can do, boss"
9) Allow the Cash Man to actually speak every once in a while (that one is directed at YOU, Hank and Halitosis)
8) Shove Pavano in a box and deny his presence on the team (kinda like last year!)
7) Now that Torre is gone, try not to blow out a reliever's arm by June
6) Do something to honor Bernie (remember him?). Give him a job or something. Retire his number. Let him play some guitar during the national anthem perhaps?
5) Keep an eye out for pitching in foreign markets, like this dude
4) Prevent the Sox from getting Santanamania. I don't care if the YANKS get him, but if Boston gets him that will prove very troublesome. Pull some strings and Svengali that lad on over to the Mets
3) Make a huge effort to throw some public support behind A-Rod. He was under enough scrutiny the last few years BEFORE he opted out and then became the highest player in the history of the universe, and if he is going to succeed in New York for the next 97 years (or however long that contract is), his sensitive soul is going to need some positive reinforcement. A little "we love him on the team!" PR could go a long way here.
2) If the team makes it to the playoffs (I'd like to say "when", but let's not get all cocky and start assuming things mmkay?!), start acting like the division series is as important as the World Series. It really seems to me that for the past few years they've been approaching the ALDS like it's a few silly practice interim games they will breeze through on their way to the next round, and we know how THAT'S been turning out (not well, if you're new around here).
1) Actually keep a couple of these resolutions...



Read last week's Top Ten: Big Stein's Christmas Dreams

Over the last few months, we've heard a lot in the media about what the Steinettes have been up to, particularly the Hankster (apparently Hal is either mute or just not allowed to speak). Little Stein has been featured in newspapers and websites spouting off about what he plans to do with the team, wrestling the reigns from Big Stein quite successfully…. But this begs an important question: what the hell has become of the Cash Man? We have barely heard a peep from the dear fellow since the commencement of the Steinette takeover, and while The Hankster has actually not made any moves that screamed “I’m just like Daddy and will ruin everything that the Cash Man has worked on lickety-split,” I am more than just a smidge fearful that perhaps all the hard work Cash has done to get this team away from their old sell-the-young-to-get-the-ancient habits might be for naught if he’s pushed completely out of power.

Of course, I don’t really know if the Cash Man actually has been usurped by Hankster, but it is certainly strange to me that he has been so silent. What dost thou think??

There are just over 3 months until the glory of baseball returns to our daily lives in the form of Spring Training, and surprisingly the Yanks have already managed to hammer down quite a bit of their 2008 roster by way of resigning Jorgie Porgie, Big Mo, and A-Rod, picking up Abreu’s option, and bringing in the fresh managerial blood with The Girardino. As has become the norm over the past few years, though, pitching is yet again a question mark. The good news is that – unlike so many years in the past – the team has quite the stockpile of strong healthy youngsters to fill out the rotation or perhaps even be traded for a proven the Free Agent Man of the Hour, Johan “And You Thought Barry Baked Ziti Was Expensive?!” Santana.

Mr. Santana still has another year with the Twins left on his contract – for which he is due $13.25 mil - and the Twins actually reportedly offered him a 5-year deal worth $93 mil last week, but he has made more than one comment just in the last year about wanting to be dunzo with that team. Based on the comments he made about wanting to play for a championship team and the fact that he wants a lot more than just 5 yrs/93 mil, Santana would probably waive his no-trade clause to head for a team with the cash to sign him to a monster extension and the talent to make a post-season run, and I would say that the Yankees fit the bill on both accounts. Because of that no-trade clause, though, Santana has quite a bit of leverage. The twins can't just trade him to any old team; he could very easily muscle out his last year in Minnesota in favor of waiting to become a free agent after next year and then really go after some big bucks, and he will probably demand a hearty extension as part of any trade offer. Of course, Santana won't have a trade to approve or disapprove until the Twins feel like they are getting a great return. According to at least one source, they are asking the Yanks for Melky and Hughsie, which, to Ye Ole Yankees Chick, sounds like a very fair deal, but if the Cash Man has anything to say about it (and sidenote: where the hell has our dear Cash Man been these days? It seems as though Hank Steinette has been keeping Cash in a closet and doing all the talking) the Yanks might want to keep a tight hold on Hughsie. If the Twins are wise, they will put together a trade that Santana will approve ASAP, because they are going to be sans Santana in 2009 either way and they might as well get something in return; if the Yanks are wise they will listen to what the Twins want, throw some cash and years Santana's way, and lock that sucker down.

Thoughts?