To the untrained or un-obsessed mind, baseball can admittedly seem a tad boring. The pace is slow, there's no tackling or slamming into walls, people rarely get hurt, and there's a total lack of barbed wire matches a la ECW (I mean EC FUCKIN' W, of course... SABU WOOOOT!). Luckily for these casual fans or chicks that get roped into watching games against their will because their boyfriend is a fan, many baseball Managers have put out a good effort to keep things exciting and stir up exciting-to-watch drama. Let's re-visit some of my faves!
Top Ten Ultimate Pure Golden Magic Manager Blow-Ups
 10) August 21, 1990: Lou Piniella, then manager of the Reds, challenged umpire Dutch Rennert’s out-at-first call. Piniella (left, in dire need of a strait-jacket) rushed Rennert and threw his hat down furiously, earning him a quick ejection. Figuring he was already ejected and couldn’t get in much further trouble (double jeopardy), he continued to express his anger by tossing first base into right field – twice.9) May 29, 1981: A’s manager Billy Martin got in home plate umpire Terry Cooney’s face to dispute Cooney’s ball and strike calls and was promptly ejected. He responded by screaming a few good curses and flinging 2 heaping handfuls of dirt into Cooney’s face.
8) June 26, 2001: Pirates’ manager Lloyd McClendon, already depressed about the Pirates’ bad start (almost 3 months into the season they stood at 20 games below .500 and 17 ½ games behind first place Chicago), gets kicked out of the game for arguing a close call. What’s the logical thing to do here? Steal first base, clearly. As in, walk to first base, pry up the bag, and take it back to the clubhouse with you. 7) April 29, 1983: After his Cubs lost to the Dodgers by a close margin at Dodger Stadium, manager Lee Elia felt that the booing his team had received from the 9,000+ Cubs fans in the stadium was too much to take. After the game, Elia has some choice words for those boo-happy Cubs fans: "They oughta go and get a (expletive) job and find out what it's like to go out and earn a (expletive) living. Eight-five percent of the (expletive) world is working. The other 15 percent come out here. A (expletive) playground for the (expletive) ... I hope we get (expletive) hotter than (expletive), just to stuff it up them 3,000 (expletive) people that show up every (expletive) day. Because if they're the real Chicago (expletive) fans, they can kiss my (expletive) ass right downtown”. 6) October 15, 1997: During the 1977 World Series against the Yankees, Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda had a sweet freakout when he pulled pitcher Doug Rau out of the game. Rau put up an argument and Lasorda let him have it. Rau said he felt fine. Tommy didnt agree: I don't give a shit you feel good there's four motherfuckin hits up there. That's fuckin great for you to be standing out here talking to me like that. Listen to the tirade here: http://www.dodgerblues.com/images/lasorda-rau.mp3
5) May 4, 2008: Like Lee Elia, one of the top residents of Manager Crazy-Ville, Ozzie Guillen, has a bone to pick with his cross-town rivals the Cubs. In response to questions about recent roster moves, Ozzie snapped and apparently decided that the question really was "What do you think about the Cubs, Ozzie? And don't hold back:"We won it a couple years ago, and we're horseshit. The Cubs haven't won in 100 years, and they're the fucking best. Fuck it, we're good. Fuck everybody. We're horseshit, and we're going to be horseshit the rest of our lives, no matter how many World Series we win. We are the shit of Chicago. We're the Chicago shit. We have the worst owner. The guy's got seven fucking rings, and he's the fucking horseshit owner.” 4) June 9, 1999: In the 12th inning of a marathon Mets-Red Sox game, Mets manager Bobby Valentine got booted after arguing a call. This alone would not merit a place on this list, but Valentine takes the cake for being the only ejected manager to attempt to come back to the game after being told get out. Later in the same inning, Valentine reappeared in the Mets dugout disguised in dark glasses and a mustache. He did not go unnoticed, though, and was fined $5,000 and suspended for 2 games. 3) July 16-17, 1982: Orioles manager and ejectee-extraordinaire Earl Weaver (right, cackling at some imputent youngster's plea for him to stop being insane) went toe-to-toe with umpire Terry Cooney (Billy Martin  also had issues with dear Cooney) 2 nights in a row. On the 16th, Weaver grabbed the ball from his pitcher (Dennis Martinez), marched up to the mound and proceeded to demonstrate for Cooney (left, fighting with with Roger Clemens years later...with this amount of fights associated with him, perhaps we should be placing more blame on Cooney) what a balk looked like. He was ejected and explained his actions to the press by saying “they [the umpires] don’t speak English, so you have to act things out for 'em. When you deal with stupidity, you have to act stupid." The very next day he smacked Cooney in the face while arguing a strike/ball count. He earned himself a one-week suspension and a $2,000 fine. 2) June, 2006: Ozzie Guillen (congratulations for making the list twice!) was seen berating rookie pitcher Sean Tracey for not hitting a Texas Ranger hitter (Ozzie had ordered him to do so in retaliation for one of his players getting plunked), and, to add insult to the injury of being chewed out by your manager, Ozzie busted Tracey back down to the minors as punishment! When Chicago Sun Times writer Jay Mariotti wrote an article criticizing Ozzie’s handling of Tracey, Ozzie fired back to reporters with a simple statement about Mariotti: “what a piece of shit he is, fucking fag”. His outburst earned him a ticket to MLB-mandated “sensitivity training”. Ozzie couldn’t let his exciting June end there though—there was still a good 10 days left in the month! He found a way to get himself and White Sox reliever both suspended (Ozzie for 1 game, reliever David Riske for 3) and fined, by insisting that Riske bean Cardinal Chris Duncan with a pitch.
1) August 6, 1969: Twins manager Billy Martin (right, puckering up to an ump) sent his own pitcher, Dave Boswell, to the hospital after an infield brawl. Boswell was scuffling with teammate Bob Allison; Billy rushed to the mound and punched Boswell straight in the face. Boswell was hospitalized and required 20 stitches.
Read last week's Top Ten: Things That Wouldn't Surprise Me About Roger Clemens
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I love these meltdowns. There used to be a few great ones of Lou Pinella on youtube, but they took them all down for "Terms of Use violation".
He will always be my favorite manager to watch snap (although Ozzie is quickly gaining ground..that guy is INSANE!)