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Ugliest Yankees Gear: Do Not Give These as Gifts
Thursday, December 15, 2005
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With a plethora of gift-obligatory holidays coming our way, a hat or t-shirt commemorating your loved one's favorite team may be just the solution to your shopping needs. A custom jersey, perhaps, or how about an authentic baseball cap, you know, the ones the players wear! Those are fine ideas, and I highly recommend looking into them. Just today, the Yankees Chick was doing just that - - I typed "Yankees apparel" into Google and waited with bated breath as the gods that are Google pulled up an intimidating two million sites. "Wow!" I thought excitedly. "There must be apparel aplenty! I can't wait to see what great-looking Yankees items are available!"

This is the part of the story that takes a turn for the worse, the part where one wishes he had a tissue stored in his pocket for moments like this.

What I found on those pages would burn the cells from your retinas. The beauty of the Yankees has been desecrated via thread and dye. The Yankees logo has been marred with camouflage, tie-dye, the flag....This whole thing is clearly out of control and needs to be brought to light immediately!

And so I present to you the ugliest Yankees gear on the market.

What is this? I get it -- we support the troops. That's all fine and good, but what does splashing green and brown have to do with the New York Yankees? This is just plain hideous, and totally unnecessary. What is wrong with plain blue and white?

More American pride! I'm not saying that having pride is wrong - - I just see no reason to combine the Yankees with the pride symbols. And on top of that, this isn't even an attractive flag. It's all diced up like the manufacturer accidentally put his flag through the blender and tried to save face by making it into a t-shirt.

Dear God. I really can't even tell where the designer was going with this one. It's tie-dyed, alright, bad enough, but why is it in the shape of a "V"?

This one tricks you into thinking it is a totally normal hat....Then BAM! Ear flaps? I understand that it is quite chilly in New York, but this is just above and beyond. It's not even blue!

Clearly, I had to save the best for last. Look closely so that you don't miss anything here. This is another one that could trick you. The back looks basically like normal Yanks hat when worn backwards, but then you turn it around and...a mask? I'm not even sure what to make of this. It is truly one of the most frightening things I've ever laid eyes on. Even more disturbing is the face WEARING the mask. If I show up at Yankee Stadium and that guy is sitting next to me, I'm outta there.

So there you have it. I'm sure there are many more fine specimens (I had to eliminate the pink argyle baseball cap for brevity), and I encourage you all to take a gander.


posted by Yankees Chick @ Thursday, December 15, 2005  
  • At 7:32 PM, Blogger yankeestadium said…

    Yankees Chick...I have to tell ya...I live in NY and I went to the Cano signing at Last Licks. It is an ice cream/memorabilia shop who has an affiliation with Steiner Sports. WHoever told you about the Cano incident was wrong. I was there. I shook his hand. I took a picture with him and he was nice. You were right about being on the phone. Remember that he signed for about an hour before we even met him plus he did a signing the day before. He was fine as a signer/yankee player. He wasnt any Bernie nor Mo....but he is young and will learn....just wanted to let you know what really happened. If you want pictures of Cano signing or taking a pic...i will send it to you.

  • At 10:19 PM, Blogger Yankees Chick said…

    Thanks yankeestadium. i'm glad to hear that the hype was exaggerated. I really like Cano; that's why I was so disappointed by this report. I actually read about this in two different newspapers, both from new york - - it sounds like maybe some fans that didn't get the autographs (or the reporter who didnt get his interview) were bitter...

  • At 7:53 AM, Blogger Mr. Faded Glory said…

    Wow. That mask is the creepiest damned thing I have ever seen

    Maybe it's intended for the uglier fans?

  • At 10:20 AM, Blogger Paul Katcher said…

    Ha, this is great. I'll have to link to your post when I write for SportsByBrooks.com next week.

  • At 11:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I dunno, I kinda like that mask. J/K

  • At 1:09 PM, Blogger Yankees Chick said…

    thanks paul..i'll bookmark you!

    i'm actually thinking that it would be worth it to purchase that mask and put pics up...just to creep people out...

  • At 9:34 AM, Blogger Ruby K said…

    I've seen all those around the stadium, Yankees Chick, and I have to tell you I agree with most of your assessments. Seems like the mask would only be cool as a halloween getup, like the Yankee fan who goes crazy and kills a buncha MLB officials. :-)

    Now, the Hawaiian shirts, on the other hand...

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