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In The Year 2000 (...7)
Sunday, January 07, 2007
conan in the year 2000The dawn of a new year is a time for good intentions ("I will use this gym membership this year"; "I'm going to cut up these credit cards and seriously not call the bank in 2 weeks to order a new one") and hopeful goals ("this will be the year that I really knuckle down and start saving some money for the future!") that by February 1st will be as forgotten as the Royals in October, but along with the obligatory resolutions, the start of the new year is a great time to focus on the future and anticipate the changes the next 12 months will bring. The world of baseball is an ever-changing entity, and to help get you prepared for the upcoming year's events, the Yankees Chick has taken a good look into her crystal (base)ball and will share with you here the visions she saw of the year 2007:

ted williams

A-Rod will become the first player since Ted Williams to hit .400. Sadly, most of his hits will take place when there are no runners on base and his accomplishment will be overshadowed by annoying people calling him "A-Fraud".

The Yankees Chick will finally memorize how to spell and pronounce 'Mientkiewicz', only to see him traded mid-season for Mark Grudzielanek.


X-rays taken during a routine physical will reveal that Carl Pavano's body is, in fact, held together by toothpicks and Elmer's glue.

mvp 2004

Sammy Sosa
will be able to fulfill his desire of playing ball again in 2007 when he borrows a neighborhood child's MVP Baseball 2004 game for his PlayStation.

clemens 1992

Roger Clemens will come back to the Bronx for his 24th season, but Joe Torre has to ban him from working with his Safe at Home Foundation when it is found out that Clemens' secret to staying so dominating as he ages is a daily serving of baby stew.

ESPN's Bonnie Bernstein will be involved in a disfiguring freak accident involving a tube of red lipstick, a boom mic, and Kevin Brown - - - and the Yankees Chick will take over as ESPN's token female broadcaster.

And finally... The Yankees will win their 27th World Series title, but not before dealing with a minimum of 4 injured players, a mid-season embarrassing series loss to the Royals, a nervous breakdown by A-Rod, and 8 Steinbrenner fainting spells.

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posted by Yankees Chick @ Sunday, January 07, 2007  
  • At 6:42 AM, Blogger randall ladd said…

    ... for predictions,how long will it be before arod gets ticked off at mientkiewicz for telling too many stories to the press about when they were high school teammates in florida. on the other hand, alex could ,when he starts his usual hyperventilation at the plate with runners in scoring position, practice spelling "m-i-e-n-t-k-i-e-w-i-c-z" as a mental trigger to remember the good old days when life was simple and when he would let his talent flow.
    it could go either way.

  • At 1:22 PM, Blogger Mr. Faded Glory said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 10:32 AM, Blogger Maryland Orioles' Fan said…

    I feel sorry for A-Rod, almost...

  • At 12:42 PM, Blogger Yankees Chick said…

    o's fan, I do too. he needs a hug. or some xanax.

  • At 10:29 PM, Blogger Maryland Orioles' Fan said…

    You get honorable mention on my blog in the morning (when I can think coherently) for putting Cal on your page!

    I like your style!

    Um A-Rod. He needs a smackdown session with Dr. Phil and perhaps Stuart Smalley to get his head straight. The man with his money, hot wife and kids needs some major brainwashing.

    I need to send you a photo of him I got at the All-Star Game, it's a classic.

  • At 10:09 AM, Blogger Rob said…

    As the Maryland O's fan said, you get props for honoring Cal on your blog! I'm a big O's fan too and I'm married to a Red Sox fan. But as I've said before, I don't dislike all Yankees fans (some of my best friends root for the team). So you get major points!

  • At 7:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You are a funny chick

  • At 1:24 AM, Blogger Steve Kenul said…

    27...love the sound of that!

  • At 4:20 AM, Blogger Brian said…

    Yo, you got a great blog here, I just found it on google and I've been reading it all day. I just started my own and it's really cool to see what other people can do and what their opinions are. Keep up the writing, you are doing great.

  • At 1:21 AM, Anonymous nyyfaninlaaland said…

    Hmmmm, that last one wouldn't be a certain Mr. Cashman, eh?

    I don't normally kiss up like this, but you are too funny. An irreligious female Yanks' fan with a sense of humor and SoCal connex. Where were you 20 years ago - probably barely born.

    "Grudzielanek" - I'll be laghing bout that one tomorrow. And hope you get the ESPN gig, though you're better suited for YES.

    Love the Murcer quote, by the way.

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