Like any hardcore sports fan, the Yankees Chick loves hearing anything remotely resembling bad news for a rival team - - and, happily, there has been a bounty of trouble to keep me satisfied of late. I hereby cordially invite you to join me on a glorious tour through the world of MLB debacles...get pumped!

Exhibit A: Duaner Sanchez (Mets): The Mets' 2006 (before he busted his shoulder in a runaway cab crash in July) set-upper was stirring up a big pot of controversy down at camp last week by showing up late and essentially being a fatass. After angering his teammates and coaches for a bit too long, good ol' Willy kicked him out on Thursday and told him not to bother showing up again till Sunday. Willy and GM Omar Minaya had a little sit-down with Duaner on Saturday and apparently ironed things out, which is good for them, I suppose, but very boring for me.

Exhibit B: Cliff Lee (Indians): I really do not understand why so many baseball players suffer from abdominal strains....do sit-ups not exist in the world of baseball? Cliff has been placed on the DL, and though it will only take him a week or so to recover he'll have to miss the first few weeks of the season since he won't be in tip-top shape. He was scheduled to be the Indians' #3 starter, so they'll have to keep one of their minor league spring training invitees around for the start of the season to round out the rotation.

Exhibit C: Damian Jackson (no one): Did you know that teams are morally (and perhaps legally!) required to offer major-league contracts to 33-year-old infielders that have only hit over .260 twice in an 11-year career? I sure didn't! This fine specimen (left, dreaming of a .275 season) threw a bit of a tantrum upon getting cut by the Dodgers...despite the fact that they had only signed him to a minor-league deal in the first place. Rageaholics anonymous could be in his future (perhaps Kevin Brown could be his sponsor?).

Exhibit D: Matsuzaka (BoSox): Boston's (103) million dollar man got a bit torn up by the Orioles on Sunday, giving up 6 hits and 4 runs in 4 innings and making 2 fielding blunders to boot. His performance officially assuaged my jealousy by approximately 1.62%.

Exhibit E: Gary Matthews Jr (Angels): By far the most exciting controversy of 2007! If his .313 batting average last year (over 55 points better than he hit last season and almost 40 points better than he has ever hit) didn't make the Angels suspicious he may have been juicing (see right; st3r01ds?), last week's allegations that he had been purchasing illegal steroids off the internet (I guess some people DO read those "v1cod1n v1@gr@ v@11ium no prescription needed!!" emails) probably tipped them off at last. He has thus far refused to comment on the obvious trouble other than apologizing to the Angels for the "distraction" the hoopla caused, but the Angels are understandably more than just a tad upset about the recent developments. They are even looking in to taking legal action against him - despite the fact that the steroid use came before he was an Angel (as in a member of the Angels baseball club, not an angel in the moral/religious sense. Ha! I'm clever!). I'm not sure if that will be possible considering the timing of the juicing, but I like that the Angels are at least trying to take a stand. Too bad the Giants won't do the same.

Exhibit F: Carl Pavano (do I really need to remind you what team he plays for?): The latest in the "how many games can a pitcher under contract actually miss?" soap opera is a missed game last Friday, apparently to attend to his ailing girlfriend. As long as "sick girlfriend" isn't secret code for "my belly hurts" or "I got a paper cut", I'll continue to hold out hope that he will indeed pitch at least 10 games in 2007.