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Because I Have Nothing To Say About the Yanks
Saturday, July 07, 2007
After the miserable display the Yankees put on today (only the Rocket is exempt from my wrath today; the rest of those losers should be sickened with themselves for not being able to back the old man up with so much as a sac-fly or goddamn base hit), my brain is simply incapable of discussing anything Yank-related. Since the season is just about half over, let's check in with the other 29 teams. As usual, I'll sum each team up in 10 words or less so that you can get back to tending your effigies of Big Stein before the fires get out of control.

AL East
Life is unfair
Boston (53-33): Honestly didn't expect them to be good this year! Wrong.
Toronto (42-44): Enough injuries to make Pavano feel at home.
Baltimore (38-48): Would like to visit stadium. No, not for a game.
Tampa Bay (34-52): Lost 9 of last 10. Never had a chance anyway.

AL Central
Y'all seriously need to stop winning so the Yankees Chick can hope for a Wild Card spot
Cleveland (52-35): 1 Sheffield suspension away from knocking Tigers out.
Detroit (51-34): Can we borrow some offense?
Minnesota (45-42): Scored 32 runs against Sox Friday. Football score?
Chicago (38-47): Downward spiral.
Kansas City (37-50): I don't know what to tell ya.

AL West
Until you get another team, winning this division will not be as impressive
Los Angeles (53-34): They are good, and not just against the Yanks.
Seattle (48-36): Didn't realize they were good, but record is .500+!
Oakland (44-42): No offense... except against Yanks.
Texas (37-50): Worst management ever.

NL East
At least one NY team is on top of things
New York (48-38): Still the "favorite". Have they not seen the Padres?
Atlanta (45-42): Smoltz on the shelf. Mets fans can breathe.
Philadelphia (43-44): Could have a shot with better 'pen.
Florida (42-46): Really not that bad! Still no chance though.
Washington (35-52): Can we have Nick Johnson back?

NL Central
Are any of you even trying to beat the Brewers?
Milwuakee (49-38): Better get ready to pee your pants.
Chicago (44-42): Soriano has been great, but $136M? Still too much.
St. Louis (39-45): How did you win the World Series? You're not good.
Pittsburgh (39-48): Why is Chacon good now? Bastard.
Houston (38-50): At least Clemens joined a WINNING team. Oh, wait...
Cincinnatti (35-52): Give up and give Padres Dunn already.

NL West
Why are these teams so good this year and the Yankees so bad?!
San Diego (49-37): World Series, I'm positive. Who in NL is better?!
Los Angeles (48-40): Pitching at exhaustion status. Good luck.
Arizona (47-42): Pitching pretty damn good, but not Padres-caliber. Can't compete.
Colorado (44-43): Sweeping folks like nobody's business!
San Francisco (38-47): 4 more bombs, Bonds. Get it over with.

Labels: ,

posted by Yankees Chick @ Saturday, July 07, 2007  
  • At 5:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Minnesota actually scored all those runs against the White Sox on Friday not Saturday.

  • At 8:47 AM, Blogger MikeyBronx said…

    The Red Sox are an above-average team that everyone thinks is great because the rest of the division has spent the entire season sucking horse cock.

    They're 20 games over .500. That isn't landmark shit by any stretch. In fact, they had the exact same record (53-33) at this point a year ago. The only difference is the Yankees were 50-36 and trailed the division by only three games, not 11 like they do this year.

    Don't let the ineptitude of the AL East trick you into believing the Red Sox are the second coming of the Big Red Machine. You can't even attribute their lead to their success against the Yankees; they're only 5-4 against New York so far. That's one measly game in the standings. They're on top by 11 because the Yankees haven't showed up this year. Nothing more, nothing less.

    The sad part is Manny Ramirez has regressed horribly, David Ortiz has been quiet all year, J.D. Drew has been a total bust and Julio Lugo might be the worst everyday player in baseball, yet the Yankees still can't do anything about it.

    All this makes me want to vomit in my mouth. Your original assessment was right, Mo: The Red Sox are no good. The Yankees just fucking blow.

  • At 11:07 AM, Blogger MGL said…

    Mikey, I agree, I look at the stats and I can't figure out how the Red Sox are winning so many games. Even the pitching isn't consistently that great, other than Beckett. It's just bizarre that we are so many games behind ... it seems like when one phase of the Yanks' play comes together, another fizzles out.

    I still think we can win the Wild Card on the back of the staff, provided Andy picks it back up again and Moose just gets back to better than average. We'll win 85 percent of the games that Clemens and Wang start.

  • At 11:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Considering I am a Padres and Yankees fan, this season has been tough. (I will tell you later why any season is tough for a Padres fan.) Yankees pythegorean record is 47-37 (4 games behind Red Sox) and with the way today's game is going (leading 10-0 after 4 innings), it all makes sense. Yet, they find a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in close games (see, the game on 07/07/07).

    The same is true for Padres (52-34 Pyth vs 49-37 actual). If they could play to their potential, both my teams would be in the thick of the postseason race, and I would be a happy camper. Then again, I doth complain too much.

  • At 12:12 PM, Blogger YankeesChick said…

    anon - thx for the minn. correction... i fixed it :)

  • At 5:10 PM, Blogger MikeyBronx said…


    I'd say the biggest difference pitching-wise between Boston and New York is in the bullpen. Boston's bullpen leads the league in ERA. The Yankees' bullpen leads the league in walks. No wonder why the Yankees have a horrible, horrible record in 1- or 2-run games -- as of July 23, it was 7-23. That is beyond putrid.

    Even if the Yankees were a pedestrian 12-18 in 1- or 2-run games, they'd only trail Boston by five games in the division. That's a legitimate playoff race right there.

    So, to sum it up, the difference is the bullpens. The Yankees don't have anyone as good as Okajima right now. Proctor, Bruney and Farnsworth have control issues and they don't bridge the gap enough to get Rivera an ample amount of save opportunities. Their best bullpen weapon essentially gets neutralized by the ineptitude of the guys pitching in front of him.

    We could go back and forth debating the merits of the two starting rotations. To be honest, I think the Yankees' Big 3 of Clemens, Wang and Pettitte stacks up comparably against Beckett, Schilling and Matsuzaka. Boston's rotation is still better, but not to the degree with which their bullpen dwarfs New York's.

    The Yankees lose too many close games and that's why they're 10 games out.

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