If you are an avid or even casual Yankees Chick devotee
(accidentally clicking on my link when perusing the results from your "I have an ugly chick fetish" Google search does not count; unless, of course, that wayward visit to my site turned you on and you now check back obsessively for more content), you are most likely familiar with my assortment of Yankee enemies.
Carl Pavano tops that list, although to be honest I have become so intrigued by his injury-prone mystique
that my sentiment has migrated from hatred to a near bemused affection, and I have never felt anything but malice towards Mr. Farnsworthless, but the latest addition to my list of folks that have embittered me and induced feelings of both disgust and sheer disappoint is a man I actually came to like in 2006. It is Johnny Damon of whom I speak, and I regret to inform you all that I am officially out on the former Bostonian
Like any good Yankees fan or woman with discernible taste,
I mocked the man mercilessly while he was a Red Sock/Sox (that is an un-singularable word). I didn't deny his talent or value to his team - even when it comes to the enemy, I do my very best to remain a realist
- but I found his apparent inability to operate a razor and seemingly cocky attitude quite grating. I was against the signing from the start
, and not because of his hideous hair - simply because I believed that his defense was worthless and the Yanks could do much better with their money. I was right, obviously
, but over the course of the 2006 season I learned to like him a bit
. He hit .285 with the third-highest OPS
of his career and the team seemed to take to him, so I came to appreciate him.
Like so many others, that sordid little love affair was short-lived
. I am back to being sickened by him, and I hope I am right in assuming that you dear readers are in agreement. His injuries are so omnipresent that he is verging on Pavano territory, his defense is even more pitiful than mine, and he's hitting a laughable .233 - - only .223 with runners in scoring position and .216 in "close and late" situations. He's played just 43 games in the field, because of the aforementioned patheticness of his defense and the availability of Mr. Melky, whose performance far
surpasses Demon's, and yet he remains in the lineup as DH. Using him in any game in his current state is a waste, but putting him in the lineup when there is a superior man to play in the field and any living body on the bench is just plain ridiculous. Even with poor little Wil Nieves's batting woes
, the Yankees would be far better off having him catch and using Posada as the DH, leaving Demon to rot on the bench as he should. Even Cairo would be a better DH at this point
- at least he's hitting .260 and can bunt. In fact, I think Andy Pettitte hits over .100 and he is a lefty, so how about him? At least he doesn't make me sick.