As you have perhaps noticed from a few things I've said about him over the past couple years, I really, really like David Wells. He amuses me to no end. I love the drunken escapades, the fact that he owns a hunting lodge with Kirk Gibson, he'll pitch for any team basically just so that he has something to do with his time... and he is a damn good pitcher, too. Or was. Whatever.

Just like the last few off-seasons, Boomer is yet again comtemplating retirement this year, probably mainly because he hasn't received any offers yet. There have been rumors of him returning to the Dodgers because he and Torre have worked together to great success in the past, but I have nothing to verify that information other than the fact that he seems to come back every year. If he does retire, though, he'll have plenty of things to do with all that free time...

10) Serve as stand-in for the YCD (Yankees Chick Dad... obv) at family parties (They are identical. And like martinis. And have gout.)

9) Nurse his gout

8) Kill some deer with Kirk

7) Martinis

6) Johnny Walker Black

5) Write another book talking about all the times he played drunk

4) Late nights at The Plumm

3) Join the Hells Angels

2) Make more public speculations on who is on the juice

1) Have a post-playing-career weight-gaining contest with Tony Gwynn