As exciting as MLB is, it is imperative that we do not forget about MLB’s sad little brother, the MiLB (minor leagues, ovb!), and not just because those farms are home to many fine prospects to monitor. Nay, the real reason I so enjoy following the minor league teams is less about the anticipation of future major leaguers (though please don’t get me wrong – of course I am obsessed with tracking the progress of potential future Yanks) and more about the joy I get out of the ridiculous names these poor teams are saddled with. From the Modesto Nuts to the Lake Elsinore Storm, there are some real winners… let’s look at some of my favorites!


Top Ten Bestest Minor League Team Names:
10) Lake Elsinore Storm (watch out y’all… we’re coming atcha like a hurricane! A hurricane from… um… Riverside, CA, where there has never been a hurricane or anything close to it. Ever.)
9) Lowell Spinners (like a top? They could spin outta control at any moment!)
8) Winston-Salem Warthogs (nothing says “intimidation” like a fat [and delicious] animal that oinks a lot)
7) Louisville Bats (not sure if they are referring to the flying rat animal or the thing they swing at baseballs … but either way, it’s very weak)
6) Chattanooga Lookouts (lookout for better teams!)
5) Albuquerque Isotopes (either someone really likes the Simpsons… or they just really like chemistry.)
4) Round Rock Express (express WHAT? Train service? Denny’s breakfast? Losing?)
3) Lansing Lugnuts (I imagine the meeting went like this: “How about Wrenches?” “Nope, how about Screws?” “Nah… I’ve got the winner… LUGNUTS”)
2) Nashville Sounds (the sounds of silence from the crowd)
1) Savannah Sand Gnats (clearly they have no respect for themselves and no aspirations of becoming say, a sand crab or maybe a starfish)