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29 Teams. 10 Words Each. Thrills? UNLIMITED.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

This is the third time I've done this little round-up now, and I must say that I quite enjoy it. Few things make the Yankees Chick giddier with glee than pointing out the failures of other teams, and while these rest-of-the-league reports are not all negative, the challenge of cramming everything I want to complain about or pronounce jealousy of in just 10 words provides me a thrill rivaled only by the likes of a Wil Nieves RBI double.

AL East So you're saying we have a chance
Boston (58-39): Faltering finally? Please falter.
Toronto (47-50): Their injury list makes my hamstring sore and ankles swell.
Baltimore (43-53): Bedard is good at least! Consolation?
Tampa Bay (38-59): Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, bad bullpen

AL Central Fine, just TAKE the wildcard spot.
Detroit (58-37): Sheff still hitting. I guess his bat likes black people.
Cleveland (57-40): Grady Sizemore sure is dreamy!
Minnesota (51-46): Eclipsed by Indians, Tigers. Mauer still rockin' my fantasy team.
Chicago (43-53): Well on their way to finishing at bottom of division.
Kansas City (42-54): Congratulations - you're better than the Devil Rays!

AL West Didn't I warn you to add another team?!
Los Angeles (56-40): Shaky since losing to the Yanks. You're welcome, Seattle.
Seattle (54-40): Signed their life away to keep Ichiro. No mas dinero.
Oakland (46-51): Unlike Padres, A's can't win without offense.
Texas (42-55): Good job trading Chris Young away.

NL East are you getting just a little bit nervous about that bet you placed on the Mets?
New York (54-43): Watch your back. Better start hitting.
Atlanta (52-46): Could give Mets competition. Or fail at end of season.
Philadelphia (49-48): Congratulations on 23490234092332 losses!
Florida (47-51): Buncha hoodlums.
Washington (41-56): There is no team I know LESS about. I'm sorry.

NL Central it really does irritate me that there are 6 teams
Milwaukee (54-43): I am so jealous of that home run slide.
Chicago (51-45): I'm not sold on that Soriano deal yet. HOWEVER... wildcard?
St. Louis (44-50): How did you win the World Series? You're not good.
Pittsburgh (41-55): No hope, now or in foreseeable future.
Houston (41-56): See above.
Cincinnati (41-57): See above.

NL West Who woulda guessed this division would be so fun to watch?
Los Angeles (55-43): Like the BoSox, playing better than they are. Will fail.
San Diego (53-43): Never seen a team so successful with such bad offense.
Arizona (51-48):New uniforms seem to have boosted morale. Definitely less vomitous!
Colorado (49-48): Thank god the Helton-to-Yankees rumors have died down!
San Francisco (41-54): Bonds: GET IT OVER WITH. ESPN's "countdown" making me ill.

Labels: other teams, rest o' the league round-up

posted by Yankees Chick @ Saturday, July 21, 2007

4 Comments:

At 1:42 PM, Tommy from Southie said…

Sorry Chickers,

I wouldn't call the team from Boston (3 in a row), about to win their 60th tonight (YES! first to 60)a faultering team. I'm sure, since you, after all are the "Yankee Chick". It's probably more of just wishful thinking on your part. WOW 40 runs in 2 games! And where did that get you in the standings? Oh! NO WHERE! Beating up on AAA teams is fun isn't it chickers!

Well unfortunately the Yankees have "spent" themselves showing off beating up on a bad, bad team, and will now take a whipping from the up-and-coming KC Royals! Hey tonight's an automatic loss for you anyway. Roger-over-the-hill is pitching, so KC should flourish!

Faulting....59-39. Yup! That's faultering alright! NIce call!

Wake up and smell the Boston Baked Beans Chickers! They're "Wicked Pissa"
At 2:25 PM, YankeesChick said…

Tommy -

Yankees July record: 14-6
Red Sox July record: 10-9, including a sweep by the Tigers, a series loss to the Royals, and a series loss to the Blue Jays.
At 4:32 PM, Matthew said…

Mo, I don't play the whole "red sox vs yankees sh!# talk on message board" game as you know - but you can't point to a July record and make any sense. Yes, the Yanks have had a good month. Yes, they've gained ground. But they're still well out of it and the Sox faltering pitching and woeful bats seem to have both straightened themselves out. So yes, July looks to be the Yanks' month, but that doesn't make up for April, May, or June.
At 9:26 PM, Anonymous said…

This "10 words or less" roundup is becoming my fave part of your blog Mo!