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A: Because I Said So!
Friday, August 03, 2007
It seems that by enabling comments on my posts and prominently featuring a user-friendly portal for folks to communicate with me, I have opened myself up to the questions and concerns of my faithful readers (and those of you who stumbled upon me by some tragic link-clicking error). Who would have imagined the sheer number of people that have questions for little old me? Not me, that is for sure. I do receive quite a few questions, though, from thought-provoking inquiries about my opinion on actual baseball-related topics to curiosity about my personal life (not to mention my personal favorite, the "can I see your boobs" emails), and since the godforsaken Yankees lost last night and left me with nothing good to say, I think today is as a good a day as any to bust out the ol' mail bag and answer your questions.

Q: After all the trouble he has caused this year, do you think Torre should be fired?
A: I go back and forth on this one. I really do love Torre; he was a great player in his own right, has taken the team to the post-season 24536852489 times since becoming manager, and he is clearly a positive influence on the players as far as morale and positive reinforcement go. Furthermore, I really don't think it is fair to blame all of the Yankees' failure this year on him, because surely he can't control injuries or Johnny Demon sucking. That said, I do think it is time for him to hang up his hat at the end of the season. The team needs some fresh blood to revitilize the organization, someone, perhaps, that balks at using the same reliever every game for 30 consecutive days.

Q: What is wrong with this team?! How can the offense be so hot one day and get blanked the next?
A: While I am flattered that someone thinks I might have some insight into this problem, I truly believe that this is a phenomenon so rooted in mystery we may never have a logical explanation. I suppose they could be tired occassionally, but in a 9-man lineup one would think that they wouldn't all wind up so exhausted on the same day every time.

Q: Why aren't people talking about the Red Sox being the new Evil Empire?
A: Hey, I did mention this, quite a while back. Let's face it, Bosox fans, when it comes to selling off your youngsters to sign veterans, Boston is king these days. Red Sox fans are lucky Papelbon hasn't been shipped off to Colorado for Todd Helton yet.

Q: Do you think A-Rod will be a Yank in 2008?
A: This is a relatively easy one to answer: if Big Stein ponies up the big bucks for a buncha years, yes. Otherwise, give him my regards, Anaheim.

Q: Why do you hate Farnsworth so much?
A: Don't taunt me so. If you truly do not understand the source of my undying hate, tune in to the game tomorrow. Look for the big doofus with psuedo-nerd glasses eating bon-bons in the bullpen. Watch him saunter to the mound. Observe the perpetually mystified ("who, me? Durrrr") look on his face. Shake your head in disust as he throws ball after ball right up in the zone. Finally, gaze upon Posada's face as he silently curses God/Moses/Buddha/Ghandi/Satan/Greg Graffin for damning him to a life of catching for that hack. Then, my friends, you shall know.

Q: Can I see your boobs?
A: No.


Thank you for every comment, email, and singing telegram you send my way. I really do love you all - even you, man who spelled "boobs" as "bewbs".
posted by Yankees Chick @ Friday, August 03, 2007  
4 Comments:
  • At 11:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    LOL! You tell 'em. LOL!

    --gianthinker

     
  • At 5:42 AM, Anonymous Ed said…

    About the Sox's selling off youth to get veterans, they've done it without giving up most of their stars. At least lately. We kept all of the big names this trading deadline - let's face it, Kason Gabbard's value was never going to be higher than right now and he isn't anything more than a #4 pitcher. Sure we traded Hanley Ramirez a few years back for Beckett, but if everybody remembers, Theo was off rocking out to Pearl Jam in Venezuela after quitting or whatever he did so that wasn't his decision (but it does seem like one he would have made). And who would have expected Ramirez to be an immediate impact guy? Aside from the Marlins, I guess....

    Anyways, I'm perfectly happy being the Semi-Evil Empire as the Evil Empire will always be the Yankees. That got us a World Series in my lifetime. More importantly, it also gave us the greatest comeback in sports playoff history in that LCS series which was practically more exciting than Games 1 through 3 and innings 1 through 8 of the actual World Series.

     
  • At 6:24 AM, Blogger MikeyBronx said…

    Hey, don't sweat it: I get people asking for a free peek at the gun show all the time.

    Just the price you pay for being sexy.

     
  • At 10:50 AM, Anonymous Adam B. said…

    Phil's back! And 500!

     
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