Yankees Chick - News, Rumors, and Opinions on the Bronx Bombers From a Brunette Babe

In case you've forgotten, Carl Pavano is a jackass. His injured body is permanently crumpled into the corner of DL-ville and yet his wallet continues to expand with the steady flow of cash being heaped upon him by Big Stein and the Gang. He has inspired such fiery rage inside my Yankees Chick heart that my feelings for him have actually surpassed anger and even disgust and instead lie somewhere in the vicinity of vengeful, spite-filled fury.

Last year, I explained that Pavano is far more than just a busted Yankee. His name is also synonymous with some concepts you might be familiar with:

Pavano
Pa-va-no [Puh-VAH-no]

Noun.
A chronically injured baseball player: Carl Pavano has been a pavano for most of his time with the Yankees.
A money pit requiring millions of dollars and offering little return: Wow, this old fixer-upper house we bought sure is turning out to be a pavano- we've been working on it for years and it's still not habitable!
An unwanted long-term commitment: I had to sign a lease for my apartment; it’s a total pavano since I can’t move for a year even though I found a cheaper, more attractive place to live.

Verb

To injure oneself in a strange, unconventional manner: I pavanoed when I tripped over a pile of cotton balls, fell into a large trampoline, and catapulted onto the roof of my dog’s house; I broke my left leg, 3 ribs and my right pinky finger.
To disappoint people; not live up to expectations: I did not want to pavano, so I showed up to work early on my first day and worked late on a special assignment.
To avoid manual labor at any cost, including inflicting injuries on oneself to disqualify one from performing said labor: Jimmy was sick of his tough job as a carpenter, so he pavanoed by intentionally contracting avian flu.

Say it with me now, amigos: Pavano es un pendejo! Normally I don't concern myself too much with the Yank's payroll - they have the money and bring in boatloads of revenue for the league, so what the hell is the difference to me? - but the fact that Pavano is earning money like it's going out of style year in and year out makes me sick to my stomach. I would rather see Big Stein spend that money on gold plating for his dishwasher* than have it continue to be fund Pavano's surgery-spree (break two bones, get the next one fixed free).

Yes, he's a waste of space. And money. Even more useless than...

Top Ten Useless Dudes I'd Rather Have On The Yanks Than Pavano

10) Royce Clayton
9) Julio Franco
8) Morgan Ensberg
7) Marcus Giles
6) Armando Benitez
5) Mike Hampton
4) Jeff Weaver
3) Nick Punto
2) Julio Lugo
1) Jaret Wright

Read Last Week's Top Ten: Tampa Dreams!

*I could probably do a whole Top Ten just on things I'd rather see Stein spend money on than some of these losers **

**Let's hope I never get THAT desperate for content***

***I have been very asterisk-happy this past week or so! Delicious!