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The Yanks Are Better Than All of Y'All

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

This week's "Rest Of The League Roundup" is even better than ever (and really, isn't it always pure golden magic?!) thanks to the failures of so many of these teams of late. You know the drill: 10 words or less per team, no change to St. Louis's comment, and I still hate the imbalance of the AL West.

AL East It really would be fun for Toronto, Baltimore, or TB to be competitive someday. Oh well.
Boston (71-47): No one jealous that you got Gagne anymore. HA!
Toronto (59-58): Plunk you, Alex Rios.
Baltimore (54-63): Good work against the Sox! You must be Yankees fans.
Tampa Bay (45-73): Just looking at you makes me sad.

AL Central Since when did you have 3 decent teams?
Cleveland (65-53): You're lucky the Tigers are on a bad streak, too.
Detroit (65-53): Missed opportunity to gain ground on Indians while we swept!
Minnesota (58-60): Lost all the spunk they showed in 2006.
Chicago (54-63): You haven't given up on yourselves, but everyone else has.
Kansas City (52-65): Yum!

AL West Proudly hosting the most rats this side of the New York City subway system
Los Angeles (69-47): Rats do not inhibit winning, apparently.
Seattle (66-50): Really don't understand how you keep winning. Expecting a downswing.
Oakland (57-62): Good thing you cut that worthless Bradley.
Texas (51-66): Last week I said "no hope. ever". But maybe someday!

NL East Some scrappy competitors in this division, my friends!
New York (65-52): Phillies and Braves getting close. Pedro to the rescue? LOL
Philadelphia (62-55): If Eaton wasn't sucking, you'd be closer. Better fix that.
Atlanta (62-56): Did you know Sturtze the Hurtze was on their team?
Florida (55-63): Kinda like little league. Young talent, sloppy playing.
Washington (54-64): You win the "Least Talked About Team Ever" award.

NL Central I call you "the land of too many teams"
Milwaukee (62-56): Starting to feel like Chicago is better. Sorry :(
Chicago (60-56): I do think you're better, but wins are necessary.
St. Louis (55-60): How did you win the World Series? You're not good.
Houston (53-65): Is Albers : a) drunk? b) high? or c) just a jackass?
Cincinnati (50-67): At least you are better than Pittsburgh!
Pittsburgh (49-67): At least you are better than Tampa Bay!

NL West ESPN will never talk about your teams unless Bonds is involved
Arizona (67-52): Byrnes having quite the year! Also, his dog is adorable.
San Diego (63-54): Igawa deal dead. Asking price of 3 tacos too high.
Colorado (61-56): Where did you come from?!
Los Angeles (60-58): I've been predicting this failure all season.
San Francisco (50-68): Balco B not only notable story - Zito deal looking pathetic.

Labels: other teams, rest o' the league round-up

posted by Yankees Chick @ Tuesday, August 14, 2007

4 Comments:

At 8:49 AM, Anonymous said…

Yeah the Oreos are BIG Yankee fans this year!

Just another "Spank'in of the Yank'ins"! You can mark them down for: 6 more tough games, and add them to your upcoming "15 games with 1st place teams" tour

I'm going to say 5-16 when they are all complete!

Go Mario Go! Nice job yesterday...again!!!!! Keep up the good work!

I'm not a Yankee Dreamer....I'm a Yankee Realist!
At 9:12 AM, Frank Strovel III said…

The Yankees have lost four consecutive series to the Orioles for the first time since 1982.

Competitive enough for you?
At 8:42 PM, MikeyBronx said…

This fucking team fucking sucks.
At 8:47 AM, TombstoneRadio said…

Mikey, your little act has gotten old very quickly. Granted, the team played horribly through the first half of the season, but they have been solid ever since. We can't expect this team to win absolutely every game they play (especially when Moose pitches), so drop the "this team fucking sucks" mantra and exercise some patience. This team deserves at least that much since the midpoint of the season.