Left: A man likely not on drugs. Right: A man likely under the influence of 1-4 illegal substances.

After Cashman and Steinbrenner sent 4 minor leaguers to Phillie to bring a big bat in Bobby Abreu and a 4^th starter in Cory Lidle to New York, I assumed they were done tweaking the Yankees’ roster. Alas, the Pirates came a-knockin’ and the Yanks were able to make one more adjustment before the deadline passed. The Yanks and Pirates reached a deal that will bring outfielder/1^st baseman Craig Wilson into New York and send constantly stoned-looking Shawn Chacon packing to Pittsburgh. Wilson, who is hitting .267 with 13 homers and 41 RBIs this year, is experienced both in the outfield and at first base, and will probably be taking over for Andy Phillip at 1^st base to free Jason Giambi up for full-time DH duty.

Also of note is the fact that the Red Sox made no moves today, choosing instead to hold onto their prospects. This bodes exceptionally well for the Yankees, who are hovering just a half game behind the Sox. Aaron Guile has already been busted down to AAA to make room for the new acquisitions, and either Bubba Crosby or Nick Greene will be joining him soon, leaving nothing but a lean, mean Yankees lineup for the rest of the league to contend with.

Other Notable Trades:

Dodgers and Cubs
Future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux (right, in toy form [that figurine costs $140, by the way]) and his 81 strike-outs will join Brad Penny and Derek Lowe on the Dodgers, and the Cubs will make use of Gold Glove infielder Cesar Izturis’ defensive skills.

Dodgers and Devil Rays
The Dodgers shipped 2 prospects, Joel Guzman and Sergio Pedroza, off to Tampa Bay in exchange for infielder Julio Lugo. Guzman, who has played all over the infield as well as left field, is hitting .297 in AAA this year, and outfielder Pedroza was a 3^rd round draft pick for the Dodgers last year. The Dodgers scored with Lugo, though, who is hitting .308 with 12 home runs this year.

Padres and Cubs
Infielder Todd Walker will join the Padres to assist Blum and Bellhorn in filling in the gap left by Vinny Castilla (who was released on July 19). In return, the Padres sent minor league RHP Jose Ceda to Chicago.

Mets and Pirates
The Mets’ set-up man, former Dodger Duaner Sanchez, suffered a shoulder injury yesterday when a cab he was riding in got hit by a drunk driver. He was a vital piece of the Mets’ success this year, and they acted fast to replace him today. Roberto Hernandez (left...and yes, he is indeed 73 years old), who pitched out of the bullpen for the Mets last year, and 24-year-old starter Oliver Perez, will join the Mets, and outfielder Xavier Nady will head to Pittsburg.

Labels: red sox rivalry, roster moves, signings

Trade Details

The Cost:

C.J. Henry (SS). Henry was the Yanks 1^st round draft pick last year, but was only hitting .237 with 2 home runs and 33 RBIs in Class A this year.

Jesus Sanchez (C). With the Gulf Coast League Yankees (sub Class A), he was hitting .264 and just 10 RBIs.

Carlos Monasterios (RHP). He played with Sanchez for the GCL Yanks this year and posted a 2.97 ERA in 7 games, including 3 starts.

Matt Smith (LHP). Easily the biggest talent the Yankees lost in the deal, Smith appeared 12 times for the Yanks this year without allowing a run and had a 2.08 ERA out of the bullpen in AAA.

Money: The Yankees agreed to take complete responsibility for Abreu’s hefty contract. Abreu is due $22 million for the remainder of the 2006 season and the 2007 season; the Phillies paid him $1.5 million to waive his no-trade clause. Lidle is in the last year of his contract, which allotted him $3.3 million for 2006. The Yanks will pay Lidle the remainder of that $3.3 million.

The Return:

Cory Lidle (RHP). The 36-year-old may not be the most dominating pitcher in the league, but he has been very consistent over the years and should provide the Yanks with a much-needed steady arm at the back end of their rotation.

Bobby Abreu (OF). Abreu has been having a good 2006 season, and the good news is that he’s posted great numbers his entire career. His OBP is 3^rd-best in the league, and he can hit for both average and power.

The Reward:

Adding Abreu’s impressive OBP and RBIs to the lineup is just what the doctor ordered to give the Yanks the boost they need to overtake the division. Baseball Prospectus speculates that the Yankees will win 1.5 extra games over the course of the remainder of the season with Abreu in the lineup, and while Lidle may not be the ace Yankees fans were hoping Cashman would find, his consistency will certainly offer more stability and innings pitched than could Ponson or Chacon.

Labels: farm hands, roster moves, signings

"I'm sorry, Stinnett, this relationship is just not going to work out. It's not you, it's me. I've found someone else, and he has a curly mullet and an awesome mustache. "

Labels: roster moves

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I'm pretty sure that people that think of questions like this one would be better off jumping on the first girl to proposition him than waiting for one with the proper jersey to come along - - it could be a long wait.

"Hey Yankees Chick,

One of my readers at [insert g0sawxxxx blog here] sent me an email question recently that I was hoping you could help me with. (BTW I did a search on google of Yankees Small and your site popped up)...The reader asked 'What would be worse: a male Red Sox fan (having sex with) a female Yankoff fan or a male Yankoff fan (having sex with) a female Red Sox fan? I have to say the latter is much worse. The thought of a Boston girl (servicing) a douchebag Yankoff fan makes me want to puke, meanwhile if I was nailing a (dirty girl) who actually cheers for those (homosexuals) I could at least do her from behind!'"

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I'm 99% sure this was sent in by Mark Gruidzelandiouwerkld and Doug Mienkeciqoieurksadlkz3e.

"Dear YC,

The Royals are going to kick your Yankee butts when Jeter and team come to Kaufman stadium. I'll have my brooms ready."

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When I look for a man, I look for a good lifeless stare.

Labels: injuries

Alas, what’s a GM to do when his team is in 2^nd place and in dire need of pitching in a market where available pitchers are few and (extremely) far between? Pick up a DFA’d pitcher with a strong history of alcohol abuse and a moderate history of major league success, of course!

Sidney Ponson (right, looking hopefully into the stands for the Budweiser vendor), who is more well-known for his run-ins with breathalyzers than for his work on the pitching mound, has joined the Yanks and will likely make his first start next Tuesday. Despite the arrests and his 6.21 ERA last year with the Orioles, signing Ponson actually may turn out to be a decent deal for the Yankees. In 13 starts for the Cardinals this season, he held a 4.52 ERA, which, while not stellar, is still better than the job Chacon and Small were doing. Since the Yanks picked up after the Cards had designated him for assignment, they are only required to pay him the minimum MLB salary ($316,000)—prorated, of course—making his signing a very low-risk deal. If he can just lay off the sauce and keep his ERA under 5.00, he may be able to help keep the Yankees in the running for the post-season.

If not, perhaps the Yankees can get him drunk and have him distract the Red Sox with some erratic driving through Fenway long enough to knock them out of 1^st place.

Labels: roster moves, signings

AL East Standings: The Yanks may have won 6 of their last 10 games—and scored 56 runs during those games—but they are still 3 games out of 1^st place in their division. Those pesky Red Sox are hanging on to their 1^st place rank with a death-grip. The Yanks will face the White Sox, Seattle, and Toronto after the break while the Red Sox battle Oakland, Kansas City and Seattle, so the Yanks better hope the White Sox are hungover from the vacation so they can gain some ground.

Cano a No-Go: Robby (right, with his in-need-of-a-trainer trainer) is still being bothered by his bum hamstring. He has been rehabbing in Tampa, and while the injury hasn’t gotten any worse it is not healing as fast as he would like. Cano is frustrated that he hasn’t been able to return to his post at 2^nd base just yet, but his trainer has reassured Torre that Cano will be just fine in time.

Damon Down: A sore oblique muscle (you may be familiar with this muscle, it is the one that feels sore your daily set of 1,000 side-bends) sidelined Damon for 4 games last week. He won’t need to spend any time on the over-populated Yankees disabled list, luckily, and should be back to centerfield throwing balls to a cutoff man 20-feet infront of him after the break.

Nick Green: With Cano on the DL, terminal minor-leaguer Green (left- that man's name is Nick Green and he appeared on page 1 of my Google image search. He is cooler than the Nick Green on the Yankees) has been splitting 2^nd base time with Miguel Cairo. He hit a homer off the Mets’ Soler last weekend, but other than that he hasn’t been much more than a forgettable D-list fill-in. He shall forever be known as “that guy that hit a home run against the Mets that one time”

Chacon is Cha-gone: His frightening 4-3, 6.71 ERA line—0-2 and 12.11 since returning from the DL in June—has finally caused him to be booted from the starting rotation. Torre has allegedly been disappointed with Chacon’s “work ethic” and bad attitude (although he hasn’t punched any walls yet), but he said that he does think that there is still potential for Chacon to help the Yankees win. He’s been shifted to the bullpen for the immediate future, and Kris Wilson has been called up from AAA Columbus to be the 5th starter. Wilson pitched for the Royals with marginal success from 2000-2003 and in his first 4.2 innings with the Yanks allowed 5 hits and 3 earned runs. The Yanks are hoping that 29-year-old Wilson can do what Small did for the Yanks in 2005, but I doubt that the genie in a bottle that temporarily transformed Small from a sub-par reliever to a 10-0 starter last year is hanging around the Yankees dugout this year.

Ron Villone AKA My Recent Hero: Ronnie is rockin' a 2.27 ERA on the year and has allowed just 6 ER in his last 17 innings of relief work. He pitched beautifully against the Mets last weekend; he pitched 2 scoreless innings after a long rain delay (right, in case you were wondering what a rain delay looks like) on June 30^th and then allowed just 1 run in 3 innings after coming in to mop up Jaret Wright’s mess in the 2^nd inning last Sunday.