I was a tad concerned that this World Series wouldn't interest me much - I like the Rays but I'm not all that invested in their success, and I'm pretty neutral about the Phillies. To my delight, the series has actually been quite riveting and I've enjoyed every moment of it!

I've got a couple gripes, though:

1) What is up with the umps?! I hate to knock those dudes because they are generally amazing and make the right calls (I can't even count the number of times I've hollered "what?! He was safe!" only to see that the ump was in fact right when they played the slow-mo replay for us), but there have been SEVERAL missed calls in the first four and a half games of the series. I understand the hesitation to utilize the available instant replay willy-nilly during the regular season, but I think that special provisions should be made for the World Series. Perhaps they could allow each manager a certain number of challenges? It seems like a waste to refuse to use the available technology during the most important games of the year.

2) What is up with the umps in the rain?! I have never seen a baseball game played in rain as hard as Monday. The pitchers' fastballs were only about 80% as fast as they're capable of throwing, and how the hell are batters expected to hit a ball so slick with water? Not to mention the risk of slipping and sliding all over the field (or on the on-deck circle a la Manny). WHAT WERE THEY WAITING FOR?! A hurricane? Dugout flood? Drowning of the shortest player on the field? Did they honestly think they were going to play 9 innings? It was obvious after an inning that the rain was WAY too outta control to get the game in. Tonight, since they ended on a tie the other night, they're basically playing a 4 inning game to decide whether the Phils win or if the Rays get another chance. That just doesn't seem right.

What dost thou think? Am I being ridic?

Who needs a World Series ring when you can win a place on the Sporting News All-Star team? Not Jeter or A-Rod! I'm sure they're happy just to have received any honor at all, right?

No offense to the TSN. I'm sure all the honored players appreciate the shout-out and I image A-Rod and Jeet have both cleared off a space in their trophy rooms (both of which are larger than my home, I have no doubt) for their 12th and 9th respective TSN prizes. Do they get trophies? I might have made that up.

That said, it's time to refocus our attention on the HUGE game tonight, essentially a make or break contest for the Rays. If they lose, they COULD make up comeback, of course - no one that's watched them this year could put that past them - but who wants to have to rely on a game 4 win at the Phillies own stomping grounds? Judging by their year-long tradition of coming from behind, I'm anticipating a home run derby-esque game with Longoria putting the team up 3-1 in the 1st.

And before I sign off for the day, let's all have a good chuckle over A-Rod's latest endorsement deal with Guitar Hero (partially funded by The Boxer Brief Association of America):

Everyone is all up in arms about how badly we need starting pitchers for 2009, and while that is absolutely a true statement, we seem to be forgetting one star we already have: the Wangster! Remember him? Our best pitcher over the past couple years? The dude who won 19 games in both 2006 and 2007, and went 8-2 in the 15 games he started this year before getting injured running the bases in an interleague game (that seems like such a cruel fate, doesn't it?)?

Well guess what, chickadees? He's still alive and actually just about done with his rehab down in Tampa. He's been working out and practicing there for about a month now and today he'll throw his final bullpen session to round out his rehab experience. The docs have given him the go-ahead to spend his winter with the fam back in Taiwan and then he'll return to Arizona in January to start getting in shape for the spring!

It sounds like everything is going well and that he's all healed up from The Great Interleague Caper and subsequent surgery. If he returns to full form this year, the team's chances of redeeming themselves from the 2008 failures will greatly improve. Wang's starts are sure to be an improvement over his those of his replacements this year - Ponson and Rasner - and just a few more wins could make all the difference. It would have this year.

I don't know how this slipped through the cracks of my baseball reading, but Jobamania was arrested on suspicion of DUI this week! Scandal!

Not that surprising, though... how many 20-somethings show their stupidity by driving drunk? I can think of several off the top of my head - and that's just the ones related to me. Common or not, it's despicable behavior and I hope our dear boy learned his lesson. Girardi thinks he has:

“I have spoken to Joba and he made it very clear to me that he made a mistake. We certainly don’t condone his actions, but he is part of the Yankees family and I believe he learned a valuable lesson which he can grow from.”

Where's our statement from the man himself? I always like the mea culpas.

Now that he's been publicly outed as an idiot, let's hope he's returned to more wholesome activities:


PS: Pro-tip, Joba... if you're going to drive drunk, at least be smart enough to leave the open containers out of the car.

Three long years ago, after the Yankees lost to the Angels to end their season (I went to a couple of those sad games), I sat down in front of my computer and signed up with Blogger so that I could do some baseball blabbering. I estimated that my target audience consisted of my mom, the YCBF, and my super-sketchy boss at the time (he was a big fan of blogging... and scamming people). But lo and behold, it turned out that www.yankeeschick.com is super similar to www.mileycyrus.com and a bunch of fat-fingered pervos typed in my URL accidentally! Better yet, they stuck around. Thanks!

Much happened during these three occasionally glorious years. I've gone through periods of supreme dedication to the blog with daily updates to times where I've had to push it to the back burner (AKA now), but never have I abandoned it. I've both railed and rallied Pavano, rolled my eyes at A-Rod and then defended him to the world, shed a few tears, mocked a lot of people, and helped you all select nondenominational holiday presents. I've had a grand time writing, scouring the internets for unfortunate pictures of Red Sox, and even recording videos back in the olden times (BTW, the reason I don't do them anymore is because I moved my computer and there's no longer a good wall behind me... and I'm too lazy to move a big ol' iMac once a week. Next time I move I'll make sure I set it up by a wall, so long as it doesn't jack up the "flow" of the room).

It's been a learning experience, too. I didn't write very well when I started this puppy, and look at me now! My writing has advanced to a level unrivaled by sixth graders around the nation. I've gone through several moves, a few jobs, plenty of personal dramz and I've met some interesting peeps along the way. The blog has been an overwhelmingly positive influence in my life... and hopefully a positive influence over the lives I have set out to change, such as A-Rod. And you.

Thanks for hanging in there with me, munecas. Hope you're still here for year 4.

UPDATE 8:41pm PST: THE RAYS ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!!!! Who would have thunk it?! Congratulations!!!

I am more nervous about tonight's final ALCS game then I've been for any game all year - even all those make-or-break games the Yankees blew. If they hadn't been getting in the way of the Yankees post-season dreams I would have been secondarily rooting for those devilish Rays all year, so once the Yankees so gracefully extracted themselves from the playoff run I threw my support behind the underpaid youngsters. They breezed through the games with the White Sox and were handling the Sox for a few days there, but I think their inexperience came into the equation once they realized they were a heartbeat away from the World Series. Did they get too excited? Did the pressure start to way down on them? I don't know, but I hope Joe the Skipper sits them down for the best pep talk since Gipper Day tonight. My adoration of their Cinderella story and my perpetual burning desire to see the Red Sox retreat in humiliation have come together in my heart to create a longing for a Rays win comparable to the longing I felt during games 4-7 of the '04 ALCS.

So yeah... I've got some nerves rockin right now. Let's do a cheer I never anticipated doing: Gimme an R! (R!) Gimme an AYS! (AYS)!


On another note, Jeff Hardy lost to that that Russian guy who wears undies that look like they were purchased in 1973 and is EXACTLY what I imagine a militant 80's Soviet officer to look like on Friday. The hell?! They've been pushing Hardy on us for months, naturally leading me to anticipate an impending championship, and they pass on the opportunity to let him be the first person to beat Vladimir Stereotypicalrussiannameicantremember and boost his status even more? Now I'm nervous they don't have any plans to give him a title after all! If they make Big Show champion again before Hardy, I'll be sick. And I actually liked Big Show a lot before he became a bad guy, but he is such an unconvincing antagonist - his attempt at an "evil smile" actually make him look like a jovial fat man beaming at the birth of his first spawn - that I can't stand to watch him anymore. It's Hardy time.

In case anyone cares about the personal lives of old not-a-virgins and sensitive sluggers, let me and my good friend Perez Hilton inform you that Madonna and A-Rod are lovahs and that they've been seeing each other for a year already.

I hope this is not true, because I do not want to be subjected to shots of Madonna's uncomfortably muscular arms and botox face every time A-Rod is up to bat.

Girardi, the Cash Man, and all the Steins promised there would be changes this off-season, and they weren't lying. It's too early to start kicking players to the curb and shelling out the dough for anyone deemed potentially heroic enough to put the team on his back and keep them out of Loser City in 2009, but there are plenty of other changes the boys can make while we wait for Teixeira to dry his tears (incurred, obv, by the ALDS).

The first soldier to get the dishonorably discharged today was none other a man whose shoulder had seemingly been operated on to replace bones with a motor, third base coach Bobby Meacham. I couldn't find the number of how many Yanks he got a little too zealous with and subsequently cost the Yanks an out at home, but believe me - it was a lot. There is no worse out to make than an out at home, and there is no reason that should happen if the bases aren't loaded. Assuming he has a vague idea of the zippiness of his player's running and the arm of the dude in the field, I really don't see any reason why this should happen more than MAYBE once. It was maddening.

Perhaps he just had too much faith in the team's speed. Usain Bolt they are not.

A few short months ago, the YES Network introduced us all to one of the most maddeningly obnoxious commercials known to mankind, and to add insult to the mental injury sustained just by watching it, they played it over. And over. And over. AND OVER.

I am, of course, talking about Giuseppe Franco and his hair-boosting wonder tonic, Procede (which he DOES NOT OWN, let me assure you). The worst part of the commercial is the Francster's own hair! He has SO MUCH OF IT. I guess it indicates that the product may indeed live up to its claims, but there is such a concept as too much of a good thing. GF's hair is so voluminous it has left him with about half a centimeter of forehead real estate. One more Procede application and his hairline will merge with his brows.

Let's take a gander:

See what I'm saying here, folks? Do you see?! Could any commercial be more annoying?!

I'm sad to say that the answer to that question is a resounding YES.

Thanks to TBS, we have a new winner. We saw these commercials during the division series last year, but since I rarely watch TBS otherwise I had pretty much forgotten about the horror that is FRANK CALIENDO and his horrible, mediocre impressions. Who told him he was good at this? Putting on a wig does not transform you into Jack Nicolson. At all. And how about losing a few lbs? It might help. It's hard to convince me that you're Al Pacino.

Check him out:
I just realized that the commercials don't even tell us what the format of the show is. I guess it's just him standing in front of a wall doing "impressions" for a half hour? And we're supposed to watch it? I wouldn't even watch Darrell Hammond do impressions for 30 minutes, and he's good.


I suppose that's enough non-baseball biz for today. GO RAYS!

I mentioned the other day in my Top Ten Tuesday/Wednesday/xDay posty that the Yankees don't have much in the way of cheap trade bait these days, and I meant it. Unless they're willing to trade big name proven talent like the Wangster or Matsui, there's just no way they're going to swindle themselves a deal for a top-tier player.

Judging by the latest "viral rumors" swirling around the WWW, there are a great deal of peeps that either have a different idea of the relative value of certain players or are some of the legions of delusional Yankees fans who hold onto a misguided belief that ANYONE who wears pinstripes is some sort of athletic god. The "rumor" of which I speak involves a trade between the Mets and the Yankees that would send Carlos Beltran to the Bronx in exchange for...

Robinson Cano, Jose Veras or Brian Bruney, Ian Kennedy, some other prospect and cash.

While I would certainly love to see this mystical trade occur, I am in the possession of a sound mind and henceforth can do nothing but roll my eyes at the idea. Carlos Beltran is an All-Star that ANY team would love to get their paws on. He is an OBP machine, provides Gold-Glove caliber defense, averages 30 homers a year, and steals bases - in other words, exactly what the Yankees could use. Who in their right mind gives him up for a second baseman coming off an utterly horrendous (insert Simon Cowell voice) year and a bunch of pitchers that have done next to nothing? NO ONE. If I were the Fred Wilpon I'd actually be a little insulted that anyone would think that I'd consider such a deal.

The fact of the matter is that, as I said two seconds ago, the Yankees don't have anyone that makes a team say "wow, I want that player so badly I'm willing to give away my 18-win starter!" And you can't just tag a few more losers onto a deal and expect it to make a difference. Two wrongs don't make a right, and two mediocre relievers don't make a Peavy.

First of all, this is the first time I've crafted up one of these lists since July 22nd. My apologies for my failure to actually keep up on a "weekly feature" (remember Sidenote Saturdays? Fail.) - I'll do better with TTT from now on.

That said, let's move on to the list!

After failing to make the playoffs for the first time since 1823, the Cash Man and the Steinbrothers have pledged to do anything they can to make sure their team doesn't suffer the same fate in 2009. Presumably, that means SPENDING MONEY LIKE ITS GOING OUT OF STYLE. They really don't have much to trade (don't be delusional, munecas - no sane team is going to trade a grade-A pitcher for some combination of Hughes, Melky, and I-Ken), so it's pretty much a given that "improving the team" is going to mean going after as many top free agents as they can get their grubby little rich hands on.

I've got no problem with that. Let's take a gander at the 10 free agents I'd most like to see in pinstripes! (BTW, you can check out a full list of the FA's HERE)

Top Ten YC Free Agent Picks*:
10) Bobby Abreu (he's been dependable throughout his time with the team)
9) The Moose (yes, he's old. But look at the year he had. Can he repeat it? Maybe not. But is it worth a shot if they can get him on the cheap? Sure.)
8) Jason Giambi (it's hard to say goodbye to 32 homers and a .373 OBP, even if his playing in the field is sub-par at best)
7) Trevor Hoffman (probs wouldn't want to be a set-up man, and probs doesn't want to leave San Diego [who would?]. But a Hoff-Mo duo would be sweet.)
6) Vladdy Guerrero (think of how different things would have been if Cash had gotten his way and he'd been signed instead of Sheff??)
5) Hideki Okajima (SOM [Save Our Mound])
4) Pudge Rodriguez (his brief time with the Yanks last year was unimpressive, but he's still a champ - and with no guarantee that Jorgie Porgie will be the same after his surgery, he could prove to be invaluable)
3) AJ Burnett (SOM)
2) Carsten Charles Sabathia (He's only #2 because he pitched a ridiculous 253 innings in the regular season and an additional 3.2 in the NLDS and its entirely possible that his arm has suffered a great deal of strain)
1) Mark Teixeira (that would not only give us 2 players with the letter X in their name, but arguably the best first baseman in the game. Sorry, Giambi.)

* Yes, I know some of these dudes have options on their contracts. I'm just saying that they'd be fine additions to the team. So simmer.

With my post-season choice intact, Saturday was a fine day. I was happy to see the Dodgers advance and even happier to win a bet with the YCBF that made him responsible for paying for Sunday night's No Mercy PPV. The Brewers won, too, which was nice because I really didn't think that the Phillies were all that much better than them - a sweep would have been a surprising bust for those poor fans (I feel bad for Cubs fans too, but didn't care quite as much since, like I said, I've been sacrilegiously supporting the Dodgers... but hot damn, talk about not fulfilling expectations).

So what the hell happened on Sunday? My whole sports world was turned upside down. First, the Chargers lost to the freakin DOLPHINS, whose 2007 record was, I believe, approximately 1-964. That was supposed to be a sure win, and they could barely get into the double digits (or the end zone). Come on!

Then the Angels and Red Sox started their game, and I found myself rooting with all my might for the godforsaked ANGELS. The thought alone is enough to make me want to vomit. Over the past couple years I have found myself hating the Angels just about as much as the Red Sox and heartily more than the Dodgers, thanks, of course, to the Yankees utter lack of ability to beat them, EVER. Yesterday, though, I realized once and for all that when it comes down to it, my hatred for the Red Sox apparently supersedes any hard feelings I have for The The Angels Angels of Anaheim. I MAY have emitted a "YESSSSS!" or two during the game. In favor of the Angels. I felt very ashamed and their win was little consolation. Can't they just both lose and let the Rays and ChiSox keep battling it out for another 7 games?

The worst part of the day came towards the end of that aforementioned WWE PPV, and while simply admitting that I not only WATCH professional wrestling but enjoy it enough to shell out $40 to watch 12 PPVs a year is pretty damn embarrassing in and of itself, it's the truth so let's move on to the disappointment I felt when Triple Fucking H retained his title. With the way Vince & Co have been pumping the dear drug-addled boy Hardy over the past few months, I was 100% sure that the title was as good as his. First they essentially make a mockery of CM Punk by having him lose to just about everybody while he had the title, and now this?! Suuuuure, JH has had some "personal problems" that have precluded him from reaching his potential in the (recent) past, but come on dudes, he's had a nice long stretch of sobriety (sort of) and he's CLEARLY been taking acting lessons to improve his previously pathetic mic presence - not to mention the fact that everyone loves him - and methinks he deserves a gaudy pseudo-athletic award.

That pretty much sums up my bad day in sports! Luckily, today is already going MUCH better, thanks in large part to this picture of A-Rod that essentially defies explanation:

Let's examine: I see crumbs and a half-drunk glass of agua (vodka?), so I'm surmising that he is at some sort of dining establishment. In the left hand, he's fisting a wad of what we can assume to be hundos (that's how he rolls, yo), and in his right, a singular Benjamin, probably about to be used to pay the bill for his $7 eight-egg white and mushroom omelet. So far, a perfectly reasonable scenario for a mega-millionaire.

But then... he's rubbing it on his face. Right towards the camera that we KNOW he knows is there. With a look that says "Cynthia said WHAT about me?! Let's flash some dough and remind her what she missed out on by signing that pre-nup, HAHAHHAHAHHA!"

PS: A-Rod: Money is dirty. Watch out for pimples on that cheek.

This is old news by now, but I forgot to mention...

After a full season of not listening to a word he had to say, the Steins have decided to bring the Cash Man back for another 3 seasons of futile efforts to bolster the farm system and make decent trades without screwing the team for the next 18 years. Cash's decision to stick around and give it another whirl was apparently influenced by this year's failure: he didn't want to walk away on a down note.

I guess that means he's got three years to whip this team into shape and get himself a ring. What's the first move? Are we still banking on CC, or did yesterday's meltdown remind us that after the number of pitches he threw for the Brewsters this year his arm may actually be ready to fall off?

After our unexpectedly pathetic team got themselves officially eliminated last week, I started asking myself the question we've all been pondering in the back of our minds for much of the season: WHY can't they just WIN?!

During the season, I was able to rationalize with the old "they'll get it together - they always do!", innocently dream that once some injuries had been resolved the team would really perk up, and assume that Cano and Melky would heat up. Once it became clear that those things simply were not going to happen, I started my hunt for a scapegoat.

I'm having a hard time believing that the team didn't have the TALENT to hack it. No team with A-Rod, Jeter, Giambi, Mariano, Moose, and Pettitte should be counted out due to lack of skill. No... it had to be something else. Was it the injuries? Did we put too much stock in Hughsie and IPK? Would things have been different if we had had less faith in those aforementioned losers and did whatever we could to grab Santanamania? Or maybe it was because we lost the magic touch of Torre!?

According to you delightful readers (the ones of you who haven't stopped checking this bloggity, maintaining the faith that I will at some point post updates*), the answer is ALL OF THE ABOVE. 2008 provided the perfect storm of FAIL. Most people who voted in the poll couldn't even decide who to blame - 32% said they couldn't pick just one person/thing on which to peg the blame. For those who, like me, prefer to focus their disappointment on one entity, it was the Injury Gods who received the most votes: 25%. Next on the list was the always-popular decision to just blame the entire roster; 19% of people felt that way.

Interestingly, not many people thought that having Santanamania on the mound would have made much difference (4%) and Hughsie and IPK were also essentially exonerated (4%). Robby Cano Dontcha Know was the LEAST blamed dude, with only 2% of you thinking his suckage was what sunk the team.

My vote was for the injuries. I sincerely believe that having Matsui's and Jorge's bats in the lineup would have made a HUGE difference - that's 40 homers right there! - and Wang would have won three times as many games as all of his replacements combined. Not to mention the fact that A-Rod missed a couple weeks himself, as did Jobamania. Who knows what could have been if the DL Resort and Casino wasn't so booked??

* About that: I am wholeheartedly sorry for my failure to give this bloggity its deserved attention over the past couple months... the many of you who have attempted to juggle full time work AND school can understand that my free time adds up to approximately 78 minutes per week - barely enough time to watch RAW on the DVR, much less write about the poor dilapidated New York team (not you, Mets... although that tag applies to you as well). However! I assure you that I am still committed to the team AND the blog and I will be making a concerted effort to spend a few of those precious minutes ranting and possibly raving (goooo Moose!) here on YC. I swear.