The seasons is fast approaching (FINALLY!), and at this point most teams have hammered out the meat of their rosters. Trades have been made, free agents have been signed, minor leaguers have been invited to camp in hopes of adding them to the roster, and few teams have gaping holes they are still waiting to fill. This is bad news for the boys who are still without a solid gig. I'm guessing that by now those players are starting to get a bit nervous that they might wind up being forced into retirement, stuck down in the minors, or maybe making a jump over to Japan to keep playing. This is unfortunate, because some of those unemployed or underemployed* guys could make a good contribution to a team, if only someone wanted them.

Top Ten Employable Unemployed or Underemployed Dudes

10) Balco Barry - yes, he's clubhouse cancer and embroiled in a legal battle, but he's obviously still capable of smacking some homers, so I think he could be a good fit for a team in need of a little pop - as long as it's not the Yankees. Maybe the Mariners? They stayed in the playoff run all the way till August last year, and maybe some Bonds power could put them over the edge.
9) Roger Clemens. You know he's going to try to weasel his way onto some team anyway.
8) Shannon Stewart. He was a big part of the A's (practically nonexistent) offense last year, just 2 points shy of being a .300 hitter, and I would imagine there must be a team out there that might need a 4th outfielder, not just a minor league team.
7) Sammy Sosa. Get him on the cheap and throw him on the bench. Why not? He had 92 RBI last year!
6) Mike-a Piazza. Still a viable backup catcher and a decent hitter at that.
5) Tony Clark. Can be had for cheap, and he had a .511 slugging percentage last year.
4) Kenny Lofton. He is a .299 career hitter and had a terrific 2007, hitting .296 in the regular season and smacking 23 homers. Yes, he's 40, but he can still hit and ain't bad in the field either.
3) Doug Mientkicantspell. I love this man dearly, and his defense makes him worthy of a one-year contract. Surely someone needs a first baseman, no? Maybe the Mets.
2) Nick Johnson. He hasn't played in a LONG time thanks to that nasty broken leg he suffered way back in 2006, but if he has rehabbed well his awesome OBP would be a boon to any team. I know I'd love to have him on the Yanks.
1) Akinori Otsuka. I don't get this one. Almost EVERY team is hurting for relievers.

Read last week's Top Ten: Reasons to be Optimistic About the 2008 Yanks



*I say "underemployed" because some of these guys have been signed to minor league deals but in my opinion deserve better.

I've been "hanging out" here in the hospital (and on the fun-o-meter, in case you were wondering, I rank the hospital a few notches above gravedigging, and about 234628736482734874 below a trip to Disneyland) for about a week now, and the lack of all the comforts of home is really starting to get to the YC. No Dr. Pepper, no DVR, and worst of all, no baseball.

Top Ten Baseball Related Things I'm Missing

10. Checking mlbtraderumors.com incessantly in hopes of some miraculous Pavano for Dr. Pepper trade.
9. My morning scan of various baseball blogs, including Deadspin, FanHouse, Peter Abraham, and Something Awful (I know SA ain't a baseball, or even sports blog- and actually, probs more of a website than a blog- but I always include it in my morning blog readin', so it's on this list. Deal with it, suckas.)
8. Sportscenter, despite the fact that at the present time the only baseball commentary they provide surrounds Roger Clemens. They'll come around soon enough. I hope.
7. Arguing/debating with people about teams, trades, prospects, stats, or even the hotness of Doug Mientkicantspellhisname's wife. Doctors aren't too keen on me interrupting a conversation about blood work with "So, do you think Girardi is up to the pressure that comes with managing a team full of both revered veterans and spirited youngsters?"
6. The Dugout.
5. Cheap Seats on ESPN Classic. Even if they're not watching a baseball event, you can count on my Sklar boys to slip in a Steve Garvey joke or two.
4. Stalking you readers by looking at my referrer tracker 100 times a day to see how you found your way here. Did you click a link on deathtoyankeeschick.com? Was I a search engine result when you Googled "moderately amusing baseball blog to look at while I wait for 5PM so I can finally leave work"?
3. Posting Fun Fact 'O the Day. I don't even know if any of y'all ever scan your eyeballs ever so slightly to the right to allow your corneas, retinas, rods and cones take in the fact and accompanying photograph, but I'll tell you this: I so enjoy searching for interesting and/or funny factoids and pictures that I would continue to post those simply for my own amusement.
2. Spring training. I really did want to go.
1. Googling "Pavano". Try it, it's fun!


Read last week's Top 10: Pitching Busts.

We’re all familiar with the old “two steps forward, one step back” adage, but the 2007 Yankees have introduced us to a whole new level of the unfortunate cliché. With the constant barrage of injuries and their roller coaster style of falling behind and then attempting to make come-backs, I believe the phrase should be modified to something more along the lines of “one player healed, 9213 more important team members down” or “three games won, 2 lost against crappier teams” to better suit the state of affairs. At this point in the season one might think I’d be getting used to all the setbacks and become more cautious about assuming the team is finally running into a stroke or two of good luck, but apparently I have learned nothing from the past 5 months, as I continue to be amazed by the ridiculous maladies affecting the team time after time. After sweeping the Sox last week the Yankees quickly followed that positive step with injuries to not one but two key components of the team with the Injury Gods striking Dandy Andy P. down with a broken hand (thanks, Jason Hammel) that will require surgery and over a month of recovery time and sidelining Old Man Rocket with elbow problems (which he somehow tried to blame on a blister in his foot) for at least one start.

This is not good news, my friends, not good at all. The glory of the September extended rosters is supposed to bring the teams more options, and yet here it is September 4th and the Yankees have already lost 2 players. Furthermore, the replacements available for these dudes are not exactly primo - Moose will likely take the Rocket’s spot for at least the immediate future, and I have a bad feeling we’ll be seeing more of Jason “Lungemaster” Giambi busting his lunges out over at first base this month. The fact that Ian Kennedy did so well on Saturday in Moose’s spot is a huge relief, because had he been a bust the Cash Man probably would have had to resort to horrible sinking lows like allowing Kei Igawa back into a Yankees uniform at some point. Similarly lucky timing is the return of my boyfriend* and defensive first baseman extraordinaire Dougie Mienticantspellhisname, who has rejoined the roster and can relieve Giambi of some of the defensive duties, but his numbers are nowhere near Phillips’s. As for Kennedy, he obviously has talent and looked great on Saturday, but he does not have the experience (especially if we get to the post-season) of an older pitcher, so who knows how he’ll handle the pressure of these last few weeks?

The one good element I can extract from all of this is a hope that these are our “steps back” and therefore we are due for another step forward… preferably in the form of gaining a sizable lead in the wildcard race this week or maybe a perfect game from Hughes. Whichever.

*that's a lie.

Saturday is no day for a proper update - - - especially a Saturday when the Yankees Chick went to bed at 4am after watching a 4-hour Yankees game that began 4 hours late due to some light mist that couldn't even be called proper rain and then when they finally did play they essentially gave up after, say, inning #8 (which, of course, was right after Joba "Bow Down To My Greatness" Chamberlain left the game; perhaps they were all in such awe of his infallibility they simply could not re-focus their attention on actually playing baseball), subsequently losing the game in the 11th inning off a cheap bloop single and a walk-off homer by a dude that totally isn't even good at all*. Sigh.

On that bitter note, I am in no mood for writing. Here's some links for you to enjoy, links that lead to things written by less-bitter folks:

• Mientkicantspellhisname is on the road to return! Can't live without that hot bat!
• When do I get a Yankees Chick bobblehead?
• Maybe when that bobblehead gets made we can get a special gang hat made for it, too, and then terrorize the nation with our gang of bobble-rockin' thugs.
• When I read this power-rankings list I thought "WHAT?! The Yankees are only #6?" Then I thought, "Hey, cool, the Yankees aren't #7."
• You might want to think twice about wearing that Michael Vick jersey for a while.
  

*bitter lie.

The Yankees are riding a six-game winning streak, courtesy of the staggering 70 runs the Yankees have put on the board over the course of those 6 games (and don't give me that "well they scored against crappy teams" shit; a hot offense is a glorious sight to behold and an undeniably positive sign for the team) and solid pitching from just about every pitcher from the Wangster to Vizcaino (and again, don't even think about coming back at me with some "well the Royals offense sucks so who cares" mumbo-jumbo, because allowing a mere 19 runs over 54 innings is quite a feat for the Yanks staff to pull off), and by all accounts spirits are high in the clubhouse, too. Their performance of late has given us plenty of reason to continue holding out hope for a post-season appearance, but there’s still a lot of ground to make up and the Yanks are going to need all the help they can get to make it through the next couple months. Injuries have been a colossal hindrance all year (and not just Carl Pavano, although he remains the irrefutable champion) - causing constant lineup shifts and rotation shuffles - and I maintain that if not for the injuries there most certainly would not be a 6.5 game gap between the Yanks and the BoSox. That’s the bad news. The good news is that several of our fallen troops are healing up and will be on the road back to Yankee-ville in plenty of time to make an impact on the team and hopefully contribute to a post-season run. Let’s take a census of the residents of Disabled List Road and see who is rehabbing and who is in a laying in a nursing home bed in a full-body cast, being fed mashed bananas by a Red Cross volunteer (I’ll give you a hint: Pavano must die.):*

Philly Hughes: He’s pitched 4 rehab games now, and each with success. His most recent start was a 6-inning outing during which he struck out 7 and allowed no runs. His strained hamstring and ankle (which he busted up while he was rehabbing from the hamstring problem… convenient) seem to have healed up beautifully. All signs point to an August return for the boy, and since he’s finally 21 he can go out and celebrate with the big kids after he pitches a no-hitter.

Jeff Karstens: It’s been almost 3 months since AL LVP (least valuable player, obv) Julio Lugo smacked a line drive right into Karsten’s leg and broke his fibula, and it looks like he may finally be able to pitch again. He’s pitched a couple good games in AA and AAA and could be ready to join the Yankees again at some point late in the season, possibly in the bullpen.

Jason Giambi: Be forewarned, folks who enjoy defense: he’s on his way back, possibly as early as the next week or so. Hopefully Andy Phillips will keep himself handcuffed to first base so that Giambi can be kept far, far, away from it.

Doug Mientkicantspellhisname: The beating he took at the cruel hands (or knee) of Mike Lowell back in June was pretty brutal, and it is taking him a while to get back on track. Since Cairo and now Phillips have been doing so well defensively in his stead and Dougie is even worse offensively then Cairo, he is really not missed too much in the lineup. However, I do love the man, and he clearly loves playing, so I root for his return.

Carl Pavano: He is currently laying in a nursing home bed in a full-body cast, being fed mashed bananas by a Red Cross volunteer.


As for me, I am injury-free and ready for the post-season.


*FYI, that paragraph contained 315 words, 4 parenthetical references, 9 commas, and not one disparaging remarks about the Red Sox.

There was a time, my friends, not so long ago, when the Yankees employed what was known as an "everyday first baseman". Yes, the very idea sounds foreign and thus moderately frightening to us now, but at one time this was considered common practice. This year, due to Giambi's injuries (and utter lack of defensive talent), Torre and his gang decided to forgo the old "one job, one employee" method in favor of a platoon of first base candidates that could take turns manning the infield while that handy DH rule allowed Giambi to remain in the lineup for offensive purposes. Perhaps that idea had some promise in its most abstract form, but suffice it to say that the platoon plan has not turned out to be quite the majestic innovation envisioned by Torre. The Yankees season has been one of fluctuation, a veritable roller coaster of bad luck and comebacks, and the first base position has proved to be no exception. Its only June, and 5 Yanks have cycled through the first base machine, including Jorgie Posada, who gave it a reluctant shot last night, and a 6th first baseman is joining the roster tonight. This latest addition, none other than our own Andy Phillips, comes with a mission: Torre intends to use him not as a part of a 542863-man platoon but as an honest-to-goodness everyday man. I certainly hope that this works out, because the Yanks could benefit greatly from some stability. In hopes that our platoon days are behind us (although I am not blind enough to wholeheartedly believe that...), let's remember the fallen first basemen we've left behind on our road to Andy Phillips:

Jason Giambi: He played just 2 games at 1st this season; luckily his "defensive services" were not really necessary because of the other folks on this list. Congratulations to him, though, for not making a single error during those 14 innings!

Miguel Cairo: As the most recent occupant of the first base slot, Cairo has actually proved himself to be quite serviceable defensively. He's played 12 games there this season without error and has even saved A-Rod and Jeter from committing errors with his surprising range. His skills at the plate are just not good enough to warrant keeping him in the lineup on a daily basis, though: .246 average, .299 OBP, and just 5 RBI. Back to the bench with him.

Josh Phelps: I like Josh, and he showed great offensive promise during spring training, but his defense isn't great (3 errors in 29 games this season) and his offense has really tapered off since spring. He was DFA earlier this week to make room for Andy Phillips, meaning he could be picked up by someone else. We'll see - he could resurface someday.

Doug Mientkicantspellhisname: Dougie is my personal fave, largely because he genuinely seems to be a nice guy. Like Cairo, he unfortunately doesn't bring much to the team offensively, but his range and defense as a whole is good enough to keep him in the lineup. Mike Lowell put an end to that for the time being when he so cruelly smashed his bulbous knee right into Dougie's face ("accidentally"... suuuuuuuuuure).

Jorgie Posada: He's played a few games at 1st over the course of his career (17 before last night), making just 1 error at that post back in 2000. Since his bat is so hot right now Torre understandably does not want to leave him out of the lineup; generally he'd put him in the DH spot to give his knees a rest from catching for a day, but in these interleague games that’s obviously not an option. Jorgie has made it pretty clear that he's not too keen on playing first, and since dear Nieves is like a lost little child when he comes up to bat, I highly doubt we'll be seeing more of Jorgie at first base this season other than perhaps the occasional interleague game.

As for Phillips, who missed a large portion of spring training to take care of his ailing mom and subsequently lost his roster spot to Phelps, he's had a great year down in AAA, hitting .301 with 11 homers and 36 RBIs. Torre seems confident in his defense, saying "my recollection of Philly is pretty darned good over there at first base". Let's hope he's right and that AP does us all proud... if he is a bust, I'm guessing the Yankees will start rotating every player on the roster into the spot for the remainder of the season.

Honestly, my friends/enemies/people that actually stumble upon this blog while Googling "Stray-Rod"... The Yanks are one injury away from me becoming convinced that some crafty and clearly nefarious Red Sox fans have turned to some variety of witchcraft to cast a hex upon the team. We've already muddled (with limited success) through injuries sustained by Matsui, Moose, Wang, Rasner, Karstens, Hughes (who, incidentally, injured his ankle while rehabbing his hammy and will likely not be available until the end of July), Damon, and of course the perennial hometown hero Carl Pavano, and the steady stream of bad bodily luck is showing no signs of slowing. Not one, not two, but three new injuries have afflicted the already hobbled Yanks this week.

Giambi was the first to go down, and while that was not particularly shocking - he's been wrestling with that pesky bone spur all season - the diagnosis and estimated time out came as a disappointment. It turns out that the trouble was not just a bone spur but plantar fasciitis and a partial tear of his plantar fascia, an injury that could sideline him for anywhere from 6 weeks to the remainder of the season - and with the Yankees' track record for injury recovery my guess would be that Giambi will miss the next 198 games. Injury #2 is a frightening-sounding fatigued groin affecting Mr. God-Please-Save-This-Team-You're-Our-Last-Hope Clemens, which, while not (yet) a DL-necessitating injury, does push back his start date. He was slated to start tomorrow's game in Chicago, but after his workouts last week he determined that his poor groin was just too tired to make the start. The criminally overworked team of Yankees medical experts will be examining the Rocket this week to determine how much rest his exhausted groin will need before he can hop back on the mound and start pitching again. As disheartening as Giambi's foot trouble and Clemens' setback are, the injuries sustained by Mientkicantspellhisname during yesterday's game at Fenway are the most heart-wrenching of this trifecta. Mienky was knocked down and out by reported off-season pal Mike Lowell's knee when Lowell was motoring in to 1st to beat out a double-play ball; he was wheeled out on a stretcher after laying motionless on the field for a few minutes and was later determined to have a mild concussion, cervical sprain and a fractured scaphoid bone in his right wrist. According to the ESPN announcers during today's game, he will probably be out for the next 6 weeks. Everyone seems to love Mienky, and its a bummer to lose our defensive first baseman to a pure accident.

In a strange turn of events, there is a small part of me that feels that the injuries to Giambi and Mientky could force the Yankees to make some interesting moves. Damon was shown practicing at first base before the game today, indicating the possibility of him taking over at first at some point, putting Melky in the outfield on a daily basis. In that scenario, the Yanks would no longer be forfeiting offense in the lineup (sorry, Mientky....), but they would then have to either bring up a farmhand to play outfield and put Matsui in the DH role or even make a trade for an outfielder and/or DH. This is clearly pure speculation, but I will say that I like the idea of Damon out of centerfield - and I am looking for a silver lining....

The world of sports is chock full of self-important arrogant rich dudes, and as hilarious as folks like Rickey Henderson are ("Lou Brock was a great base stealer but today I am the greatest"), a humble athlete is far more endearing. The Yanks' own defensive first-baseman extraordinaire Dougie M. may not have the offensive prowess to really warrant any cockiness, but his utter lack of pretension has made me truly appreciate him as a fan. He makes up for what he lacks at the plate (that whole "hitting" idea....) with incredible range over at first base, and has already bailed the Yanks out of several jams by jumping up to catch wayward balls thrown by Jeet or A-Rod or slamming his bod down into the dirt to tag a player out. Dougie isn't exactly an irreplaceable or indispensable commodity in the Yankees' lineup, but he knows that and works hard to earn his keep.

He's hitting just .235 with 10 RBIs this year - which, while a far cry from the numbers put up by most of his teammates, is not necessarily despicable when teamed with this stellar defense - but with the way he acts you'd think he was a little leaguer just happy to be playing on the team with the big kids. Torre has made it clear that Mienkicantspellhisname's value to the team lies solely in his defensive talents and doesn't care much about his batting average, and his teammates love being able to toss sub-par throws in the general direction of first base and have them snagged, but any time he is interviewed Dougie is all self-deprecation and humility. When he was booed by fans after going hitless for the first several weeks of the season, Doug actually said they should have booed him sooner, and he says he works out with hitting coach Kevin Long constantly in hopes of improving his technique at the plate.

It's easy to forget that offense isn't the only part of the game, especially when the team that happens to hold a special place in your heart is going through a rough patch in the pitching department (ahem). Folks like Mientkicantspellhisname are fun to watch and heartwarming to root for, even in these lean times.

A-Rod had a truly splendid April, with 14 homers, 34 RBI (9 more than Francoeur, who was in 2nd place), .355 average and the best slugging percentage (.882) of any player with 5+ at-bats. Sure, his handiwork did not push the Yankees' record over to that lovely winning side of the spectrum, but at least he started the season to some cheers rather than boos. (Also, Gibson has a custom A-Rod guitar [right]. No, I don't get it either.)

Doug Mientkicantspellhisname has hit 2 homers and knocked in 5 runs! Sure, his average is just .154 and the Yanks would likely be better off letting Phelps and Giambi manage first base and using the roster spot for another pitcher, but who doesn't get a nice warm feeling in their heart when an offensively-challenged player gets to round the bases?

We got to see what Phil Hughes has to offer the Yanks much sooner than anyone had anticipated (or desired, if we're being honest here). Sure, his call-up came under truly dire circumstances and the incredible pressure he is likely feeling can't be helping his performance (see left), but the very fact that the Yankees have a cache of viable players in the farm system is encouraging for our future.

The "Torre will/should be fired" stories being perpetuated by the media have forced Big Stein to defend old Joe for once. Sure, Stein had essentially no other option than to defend his team and staff when faced with such scrutiny, but i'm confident the support boosted Torre's spirits by a good 0.5%.

All the injuries and poor pitching have made dear Carl Pavano quite the desired gentleman. Never before have Yanks fans so eagerly anticipated his return to good health or so valued the short time he has been alive enough to pitch. Sure, pretty much anyone starts to look good when the alternatives are a 12-year-old with no experience or 2 innings of Farnsworthless, but my "Pavano must LIVE" campaign must be working!



See, folks? The state of affairs is really not all that bad. With any luck, the off-day was spent boosting morale and strategizing and the Yanks will be raring to go when they get to the Texas for tomorrow's game against the Rangers. Hughes might fare better away from the expectations of the fans at home, and the probable pitcher for the Rangers is Kameron Loe, who has a 1-3 record and 7.62 ERA in 4 games that he's pitched against the Yanks. My fingers are crossed for a turn of the tide....