The trade deadline has officially passed, and unfortunately the 2007 trading era was not very thrilling for the Yanks. As much as a guy like Gagne or Teixiera could have helped the team and their (albeit relatively unlikely) bid for a post-season spot, I am much more upset about the fact that the Yanks didn’t manage to ditch any dead weight than I am disappointed about them not scoring an arm or a bat. After seeing Posada’s obvious disgust towards Farnsworthless this weekend, I held out hope that perhaps the Cash Man would amp up his efforts to pawn the man off on some even more desperate team, but apparently every other team has either had the misfortune of meeting him – which surely would cause even the most war-hardened front office folks to shake their heads ‘no’ after just 5 minutes in his presence – or just couldn’t afford our asking price of one roll of nickels. There were also vague rumors of Seattle being interested in Kei Igawa, but someone must have shown them footage of his pitching, because nothing came from that, either.

Lest you wallow in your sorrows too much, let me assure you that a trade was made today, as Dr. Scott “Please Torre Don’t Put Me In, My Arm Is Literally About to Detach From My Shoulder And Then Fall to the Ground in Flames” Proctor was traded to the Dodgers in exchange for utility man Wilson “Say My Last Name Really Fast, It Is Fun” Betemit. This decidedly anticlimactic move won’t really make much of a difference for the team (although it does essentially eliminate the possibility of another glove bonfire, unfortunately) this year, but it has caused some people to speculate that perhaps Betemit has been brought in as A-Rod’s replacement at third base in the likely event that he goes off in search of greener pastures after the season. Considering Betemit’s entirely un-A-Rod-like numbers and the amount of cash we all know Big Stein has at his disposal on can only hope that the Yankees have ever intention of locking up A-Rod as soon as the season is over, regardless of the price, and that their dreams for Betemit include nothing more than Cairo-esque utility work. Please.

It's a very exciting day in YankeesChick-ville, particularly for those of you who do lack the motivation or advanced brain function required for reading. First off, take a gander at my latest installment of Yankeeschickography, during which I run down the latest in Yankees trade rumors.

As if that video excitement wasn't enough, my weekly chatfest on Free The Fan Radio is being amped up a notch this week. Rather than my usual Yankees update at the end of the show, I will be in the studio tonight along with Trey from domewright.com for a rematch of our ill-fated trivia contest - and this time, biased Mets-loving host Mike Silva will not be the judge. And finally, at the end of the show, stay tuned for Mike's interview with one of everyone's faves, Scott Brosius! The show airs from 9-11pm EST, and you can listen right here or at 1240 AM's site.

That's right babycakes, it's time for another rockin' rendition of "Rest of the League Roundup!" As always, I will limit my updates to 10 words per team - because I love me a challenge (and don't have much to say about some of these folks). Onward!

The Yankees are riding a six-game winning streak, courtesy of the staggering 70 runs the Yankees have put on the board over the course of those 6 games (and don't give me that "well they scored against crappy teams" shit; a hot offense is a glorious sight to behold and an undeniably positive sign for the team) and solid pitching from just about every pitcher from the Wangster to Vizcaino (and again, don't even think about coming back at me with some "well the Royals offense sucks so who cares" mumbo-jumbo, because allowing a mere 19 runs over 54 innings is quite a feat for the Yanks staff to pull off), and by all accounts spirits are high in the clubhouse, too. Their performance of late has given us plenty of reason to continue holding out hope for a post-season appearance, but there’s still a lot of ground to make up and the Yanks are going to need all the help they can get to make it through the next couple months. Injuries have been a colossal hindrance all year (and not just Carl Pavano, although he remains the irrefutable champion) - causing constant lineup shifts and rotation shuffles - and I maintain that if not for the injuries there most certainly would not be a 6.5 game gap between the Yanks and the BoSox. That’s the bad news. The good news is that several of our fallen troops are healing up and will be on the road back to Yankee-ville in plenty of time to make an impact on the team and hopefully contribute to a post-season run. Let’s take a census of the residents of Disabled List Road and see who is rehabbing and who is in a laying in a nursing home bed in a full-body cast, being fed mashed bananas by a Red Cross volunteer (I’ll give you a hint: Pavano must die.):*

Philly Hughes: He’s pitched 4 rehab games now, and each with success. His most recent start was a 6-inning outing during which he struck out 7 and allowed no runs. His strained hamstring and ankle (which he busted up while he was rehabbing from the hamstring problem… convenient) seem to have healed up beautifully. All signs point to an August return for the boy, and since he’s finally 21 he can go out and celebrate with the big kids after he pitches a no-hitter.

Jeff Karstens: It’s been almost 3 months since AL LVP (least valuable player, obv) Julio Lugo smacked a line drive right into Karsten’s leg and broke his fibula, and it looks like he may finally be able to pitch again. He’s pitched a couple good games in AA and AAA and could be ready to join the Yankees again at some point late in the season, possibly in the bullpen.

Jason Giambi: Be forewarned, folks who enjoy defense: he’s on his way back, possibly as early as the next week or so. Hopefully Andy Phillips will keep himself handcuffed to first base so that Giambi can be kept far, far, away from it.

Doug Mientkicantspellhisname: The beating he took at the cruel hands (or knee) of Mike Lowell back in June was pretty brutal, and it is taking him a while to get back on track. Since Cairo and now Phillips have been doing so well defensively in his stead and Dougie is even worse offensively then Cairo, he is really not missed too much in the lineup. However, I do love the man, and he clearly loves playing, so I root for his return.

Carl Pavano: He is currently laying in a nursing home bed in a full-body cast, being fed mashed bananas by a Red Cross volunteer.


As for me, I am injury-free and ready for the post-season.


*FYI, that paragraph contained 315 words, 4 parenthetical references, 9 commas, and not one disparaging remarks about the Red Sox.

With just 65 games left to play and 9 days before the no-trade deadline, the Cash Man and his gang are keenly aware that each spot on the Yanks' roster is a vital resource that cannot be wasted (like oil, or my love). We've seen many a player jump on and off that roster this year, from Tyler Clippard to poor Chase Wright, but with the exception of the signing of the Rocket, all the roster moves this year had been intra-club promotions and demotions. Now that the Yankees are playing like they might actually have a chance in hell at getting to the post-season (7.5 games out, my babies!), though, the Yanks decided that it would be in their best interest to execute a major blockbuster trade to help their cause. Unfortunately, by "major blockbuster trade", I really mean "deal that will make you scratch your head and think 'Who? Oh yeah, I've heard of him'".

While the Yankees were beating up on the bedraggled Devil Rays during Saturday's doubleheader, Big Stein was hard at work concoting a deal with the head honchos over at the Angels' headquarters, arranging for minor league pitcher Jeff Kennard to be shipped to Anaheim in exchange for backup catcher Jose Molina (brother of MLB catchers Yadier and Bengie.... I guess the family only had catching gloves to practice with?). Clearly this is not a trade on a scale as grand as the deal that brought us Roger "You Thought I Was Old Then?!" Clemens in 1999 or Alex "Texas Truly Makes The Worst Deals Ever" Rodriguez in 2004, but this little mini-trade does address one of the Yanks' primary roster concerns. Jorgie Boy is in the midst of what could end up being the best season of his career, but he is getting old (in catcher years, which are similar to dog years) and having a serviceable backup catcher available will be vital to keeping Jorgie in tip-top condition. Molina has played 70+ games in each of the last 3 seasons, so he will hopefully be able to catch a game or 2 each week to give Posada a rest, and he already knows Jorgie from playing winter ball down in Puerto Rico, so he already has an ally on the team. The only bad news about this trade is that the addition of Molina made dear little Wil Nieves obsolete, and he was DFA as soon as the deal was final. Sure, Molina's stellar .237 lifetime batting average trumps Nieves's (.161 in 63 games), but I can't imagine that Molina will be as fun to cheer for - that RBI double Wil hit on Saturday brought more smiles to the dugout than we've seen all year!

This is the third time I've done this little round-up now, and I must say that I quite enjoy it. Few things make the Yankees Chick giddier with glee than pointing out the failures of other teams, and while these rest-of-the-league reports are not all negative, the challenge of cramming everything I want to complain about or pronounce jealousy of in just 10 words provides me a thrill rivaled only by the likes of a Wil Nieves RBI double.

If you are an avid or even casual Yankees Chick devotee (accidentally clicking on my link when perusing the results from your "I have an ugly chick fetish" Google search does not count; unless, of course, that wayward visit to my site turned you on and you now check back obsessively for more content), you are most likely familiar with my assortment of Yankee enemies. Carl Pavano tops that list, although to be honest I have become so intrigued by his injury-prone mystique that my sentiment has migrated from hatred to a near bemused affection, and I have never felt anything but malice towards Mr. Farnsworthless, but the latest addition to my list of folks that have embittered me and induced feelings of both disgust and sheer disappoint is a man I actually came to like in 2006. It is Johnny Damon of whom I speak, and I regret to inform you all that I am officially out on the former Bostonian... again.

Like any good Yankees fan or woman with discernible taste, I mocked the man mercilessly while he was a Red Sock/Sox (that is an un-singularable word). I didn't deny his talent or value to his team - even when it comes to the enemy, I do my very best to remain a realist - but I found his apparent inability to operate a razor and seemingly cocky attitude quite grating. I was against the signing from the start, and not because of his hideous hair - simply because I believed that his defense was worthless and the Yanks could do much better with their money. I was right, obviously, but over the course of the 2006 season I learned to like him a bit. He hit .285 with the third-highest OPS of his career and the team seemed to take to him, so I came to appreciate him.

Like so many others, that sordid little love affair was short-lived. I am back to being sickened by him, and I hope I am right in assuming that you dear readers are in agreement. His injuries are so omnipresent that he is verging on Pavano territory, his defense is even more pitiful than mine, and he's hitting a laughable .233 - - only .223 with runners in scoring position and .216 in "close and late" situations. He's played just 43 games in the field, because of the aforementioned patheticness of his defense and the availability of Mr. Melky, whose performance far surpasses Demon's, and yet he remains in the lineup as DH. Using him in any game in his current state is a waste, but putting him in the lineup when there is a superior man to play in the field and any living body on the bench is just plain ridiculous. Even with poor little Wil Nieves's batting woes, the Yankees would be far better off having him catch and using Posada as the DH, leaving Demon to rot on the bench as he should. Even Cairo would be a better DH at this point - at least he's hitting .260 and can bunt. In fact, I think Andy Pettitte hits over .100 and he is a lefty, so how about him? At least he doesn't make me sick.

I've dedicated quite a bit of time and energy to A-Rod's woes (the past few post-season series...boooooo...) and heroics (all the other times, especially now) on this here blog, and while I would love to discuss any of the many other glorious aspects of my favorite sport (like the fact that our boys have at last hoisted themselves out of loser dungeon and climbed atop winners' hill like a real live team!) there are just too many A-Rod tales to tell. Last week I expressed my concern over the fact that A-Rod will most likely declare free agency and subsequently be signed by another team to a contract that could feed every starving man, woman, child, and puppy in Africa, but it his current contract that has many people scratching their heads. I received several emails inquiring about the nature of this contract - how long the Yankees have to resign him, for instance, and how many blond strippers he is allotted per month - and while I am by no means a lawyer specializing in contracts (or a writer specializing in writing, for that matter), I am a whiz with the ol' Google so I did a little research and learned enough to pass a RCSAT (Ridiculous Contracts Standard Aptitude Test) with flying colors. For your learning pleasure, here is the abridged version of my findings:

• Signing bonus: Paid in $1 million installments on March 1 and Dec. 1 from 2001-2005
• Opt Out: He can terminate his contract and become a free agent after the 2007, 2008 or 2009 seasons, 10 days after the World Series is over.
• Escalator: The Yanks must increase A-Rod's salary for 2009 and 2010 by $5 million each year or $1 million greater than the average annual salary of the highest paid non-pitcher player that year - whichever is greater.
• Deferred Payments: A portion of A-Rod's salary will not be paid until after his contract is up after the 2010 season. Deferred money accrues interest at 3% annually and will be paid from 2011 through 2020, some by the Texas Rangers (see below).
  
• No Trade Clause: Self-explanatory. He can't be traded unless he waives this clause and approves it.
• Award Bonuses: For the record, A-Rod could theoretically earn an extra $2,100,000 just in bonuses in one year if he won all these awards this year (he's already got 1 MVP with the Yanks and got the most All-Star votes...).
  Most Valuable Player — $500,000
  Second MVP — $1 million
  Third or more MVP — $1.5 million
  MVP voting second-fifth — $200,000
  MVP voting sixth-10th — $100,000
  All-Star selection or election — $100,000
  Most All-Star votes in league — $100,000
  Baseball America/Sporting News/UPI/AP/USA Today All-Star team — $100,000
  Baseball America/Sporting News/UPI/AP/USA Today MVP or player of year — $100,000
  World Series MVP — $200,000
  League championship series MVP — $150,000
  Division series MVP — $150,000
  Gold Glove — $100,000
  Silver Slugger — $100,000
• Texas's Contribution: Lo mas importante! When Texas traded A-Rod to the Yanks they agreed to pay a healthy portion of his salary throughout his contract - $67 million, to be exact. They will pay $8 million of his salary in 2008, $7 million in 2009, and $6 mil for the 2010 season. In addition, the Rangers will be paying a chunk of that aforementioned deferred money after A-Rod's contract is up. In other words, if A-Rod were to stay with the Yanks, the team would, because Texas is picking up some of the tab, be getting quite a discount on a player that could easily sucker another team into paying $30 million a year.
  

From these details and the power of deductive reasoning, we can see that there is quite a sizable advantage in resigning A-Rod before he gets the chance to opt out, as they will lose all that cash that Texas is chipping in.

In other words, if the Yanks have ANY sense at all, they will offer A-Rod a major extension before he opts out so that they can continue paying him a reduced rate until 2011. Since A-Rod said he would not discuss his contract until the season is over, that means the Yankees will have just 10 days after the World Series (well... that is if the Yankees were to make the World Series by some stroke of luck/magic/witchcraft/sabotage; it is much more likely that A-Rod's season will end before that and therefore give the Yanks a few more days to work with...) to convince A-Rod to stick around in the NYC. Mark it on your calenders.

It has been about 7 weeks since I made the transition from California Yankees Chick to the New York variety, and living in Yankeesville has afforded me a plethora of ways to feed my borderline unhealthy obsession with baseball. I have attended 4 games at Yankee Stadium, 1 at Shea (the Yanks were on a road trip; any baseball is better than none, no?), watched games with other die-hards in bars, and purchased some fine goodies at the official Yanks clubhouse store, but nothing indulges a baseball obsession like a journey to the Hall of Fame. I made the pilgrimage yesterday - a journey which takes upwards of 4 hours before one accounts for the delightfully inconvenient road closure that detoured us down a dirt "street" named Jug Tavern Road - and it was an experience well worth the drive. The entire town breathes baseball, from the restaurants (I ate at Triple Play Cafe), to the stores to the multiple stadiums, but of course the museum itself is the main event. For those of you who have never had the pleasure of checking it out and those of you who have but can't get enough, here are some pictures of my time in Cooperstown:

I'm not sure if you noticed, but A-Rod is having a damn good year. This is not necessarily a surprise, as he certainly has proved his talent time and again throughout his career, but 2007 has shown us an A-Rod who is not only an extraordinary athlete but a downright vital member of the team. The Yankees have struggled all year - although last night they did enjoy a brief spell as a member of the .500 club!! - but if not for A-Rod there would likely be little if any hope left for a playoff spot (and no, I am not naive, I am realistic and recognize the relative improbability of a surge to take over the division or even the wildcard, but as I mentioned at the end of the first half of the season, there still remains plenty of reason to believe that with a little bit of luck [no more line-drive-induced broken bones, por favor] and a lot of heart this team is still capable of such a feat). His contributions to this often floundering club have been vital to their survival:

• 31 homers
• 87 RBI
• .317 average
• .415 OBP
• .668 slugging %
• 1.086 OPS
  
• 17 stolen bases
• .388 average with 16 RBI in "close and late" situations
• .444 average with 2 homers with bases loaded
• .442 average with men on and 2 out

Whether his performance and obviously improved attitude were sparked by some quality Jim Fannin life coaching, an ego-boosting romp with a stripper, Jeter's attempts at providing his sorta buddy with some encouragement, or a bid to increase his value on the free agent market, his year has caused quite a commotion. The opt-out clause in his "Boras Special" contract means that he can declare free agency after this season (10 days after the World Series, to be precise), and he has every reason in the world to do just that. The monster contracts that Soriano and Barry Baked Ziti scored prior to the 2007 season and now the doozy of a deal the Mariners struck with Ichiro have set quite the precedent for multi-gazillion-dollar, mucho-long-term contracts, and a free agent A-Rod would surely be the next beneficiary of such a deal. Boras has already stated that he anticipates a $30 mil/year deal for A-Rod, and with every homer he hits his stock and asking price climbs even higher. Regardless of his price, there will be several teams willing to shell out the big bucks for A-Rod if/when he declares free agency. The Yankees are well aware that if they want to hold on to him their best bet would be to sign him to an extension before he gets a chance to be on the market, but unfortunately for us A-Rod supporters he has put the kibosh on any contract talks for the time being.

The bottom line, my most delightful friends, is that I fear the most important part of this year's team may very well be in his last year as a Yank. I wouldn't blame him much for jumping ship, as New York has not been very kind to him, and he will definitely be rewarded with massive amounts of cash dollars no matter where he goes. At least he'll become the youngest player to hit 500 homers (just 5 to go!) as a Yankee....

There is no denying the pain the Yankees put us through over the course of the first half of the season, but I feel it is time that we put that behind us and look forward to better times in the coming months. It is true that they finished the first half under .500 (42-43) and with no fewer than 7 players on the DL (technically 8 if you count Mr. Pavano, which I do not because he is not actually a “player” in the strict sense of the word), but there are plenty of reasons to believe that all hope is not (yet) lost. They went into the All-Star break on a positive note, winning the 4-game series against the Twins and then taking 2 out of 3 from their mortal enemies the Angels, and both Hughes and Karstens are slowly but surely pulling themselves out from the depths of the seemingly bottomless DL-pit. Better still is the Yanks’ summer schedule, which looks significantly less intimidating than their grueling first half: they play just one more 3-game series against the Angels and 6 more games against the Red Sox (they faced them 12 times in the first half). Instead, they will have a chance to make up some ground with some "easier" games when they play 10 against the Royals, 14 against the last-place Devil Rays, and face the floundering Orioles 12 times.

Of course, even with a lightened load on the schedule front and the prospect of Hughes and Karstens rejoining the team to shoulder some of the burden, there still remains quite a hurdle between the Yanks and the post-season. After the Red Sox fell victim to the broom of the Rockies (what is truly sad here is the fact that the Yankees were also swept in Colorado and therefore I really have no business mocking Boston for their failure; if there is anything sadder than not being able to jest at Boston's expense, I am not aware of it) and the Yanks won 2 against the Angels the gap between the two still stands at 10 games, and they are 8.5 games out in the wildcard hunt. In my professional Baseball-Analyzer-and-Mathematician opinion, the odds of knocking the Red Sox out and winning the division are significantly brighter than the chances of them hopscotching Cleveland, Oakland, Seattle, Minnesota and Toronto to win the wildcard spot. 10 games is a considerable margin, sure, but insurmountable? It doesn't have to be. This team has not played to its potential for longer than a few innings all season - much to the collective chagrin of Big Stein, the Cash Man, Torre, you, and the Yankees Chick - but from the glimpses we have seen and the track records of the boys, they could certainly play better than the Sox if they were so inclined. It seems oversimplistic and a tad absurd in light of all the hardships the Yanks have endured this year, but I still wholeheartedly believe that the Yankees could and would be in first place if they just had a different attitude. Perhaps the combination of an easier schedule and the return of our wounded soldiers will be enough to spark some passion into that lackluster clubhouse.

There are many aspects of this crazy little game that drive the Yankees Chick batty (not that I am one to complain, no sir!), from people's insistence on using the useless win stat to the lack of effective drug policies, and the All-Star game also has a home on my i-dont-like-you-one-bit list. Every July our near-daily dose of important baseball is rudely interrupted by a near-meaningless (save for the lamentable fact that home field advantage for the World Series is dependent on the outcome of the game; fear not, we will be returning to this matter in a moment) game surrounded by 2 off-days, and the problems with this affair are many. I realize that some folks enjoy the 3-day reprieve from the usual grind and get a kick out of watching players from different teams join together for a game, but I find the whole operation to be frustrating and even quite worrisome. Let’s examine:

• The threat of injuries alone is enough to make me wary. Yes, each player generally only stays in the game for a couple innings, but all it takes is one sharp drive back to the pitcher (see Rasner, Karstens) or an accidental collision (see Mientkicantspellhisname) to put a player right out of commission. Since the game features the top players of the game, the damage an injury would do to a team is greatly intensified. Imagine if Jeter or A-Rod were to get smacked in the face by a wayward pitch…
• Home field advantage during the World Series is much too crucial a matter to be determined by a game that is not taken seriously by most players – many of the participants already know that the post-season is not in their future and thus have no real incentive to ensure their league wins the game, and the threat of injuries keeps most if not all players from going all out. The AL has a clear advantage, winning 15 of the last 20 All-Star games (2002 ended in a tie; no it was not a hockey game), and that surely isn’t fair for the NL World Series team.
• Taking 3 days off could be detrimental to a team that needs to be rallying for a post-season race, such as the Yankees this year. The only way they are going to have a shot at October is if they buckle down, focus, and start consistently winning 5+ in a row. The last thing this team needs is to get out of the groove - they’re still not even in their groove.
• The idea of an All-Star game is to showcase the league’s best players, but the rosters do not reflect that. Fan voting turned the selection process into a popularity contest, putting the most exciting or well-known players ahead of lesser-known or small-market folks. Also, since the rosters much feature at least one representative from each MLB team, some talented players do not make the cut simply because there is no room.
  

That said, congratulations to Jeet, A-Rod, and Jorgie, who will be representing the Yanks in the game this year. A-Rod may decide to sit out and take the 3-day break to rest his strained hammy (a much wiser use of the break than playing in the game, if you ask me), but I’m sure it was a nice feeling for him to come out on top of the voting. I’ll be watching, of course, but throughout the entire game I will be thinking “I sure do wish I was watching an actual game right now and not a bunch of dudes that don't know or like each other half-assing their way through 9 innings of baseball.”

When faced with one of life's struggles, it is human nature for one to develop coping mechanisms to see him or herself through the hard times. A soldier, for example, may take to telling jokes to get his mind of the horrors of war, or a Yankees fan from California may try to convince herself the she can be equally passionate about the Chargers after the Yanks' fail to make it out of the ALDS (again) - such simple trickery of one's mind can prove invaluable in the preservation of sanity. As with most things though, there is a fine line between normal, healthy behavior and a dangerous foray into self-indulgent immaturity that not only hinders one's emotional health but is just goddamn annoying.