Mark your calendars, munecas: Joba will be the starting pitcher against the Blue Jays at Yankee Stadium on Tuesday. He'll be limited to approximately 70 pitches for his first start, which will probably work out to about 5 innings if he stays economical. Pettitte will be pitching Monday, and the Yanks are going to need him to go deep into the game so that the bullpen is rested and ready to take over after Joba leaves the game on Tuesday.

There's been a lot of chatter about this move into the rotation, from sheer excitement to skepticism to downright outrage. Some are convinced he'll be a star anywhere he pitches, while other folks think it might end up being a disaster. Personally, I foresee good things from Joba and look forward to quadruple the amount of solid innings he'll give the Yanks in this role than he would have as a reliever all year. Of course, it's very important not to expect perfection, even from Jobamania. It's unlikely he'll maintain his current sub-2.00 ERA as a starter; more likely, he'll put up a solid 3-4.00 ERA with a good strikeout to walk ratio.

Thoughts? Predictions?

Joe Torre may have moved across the country and taken a job managing for one of the Yanks' NL rivals, but he still has a big soft spot for his old team and players. Case in point: when Jeter was smacked on the hand back on May 20th, Joe was watching the game on TV at Dodger Stadium and jumped on the horn right away to call the Yanks clubhouse and make sure Jeet was ok.

It sounded ugly. I called the training room just to see how he was. He got on the phone and said he was OK.

That is very sweet and a prime example of Torre's sentimentality and love for his old boys, but was it appropriate? Are managers supposed to be communicating with players from other teams, particularly from their post at their stadium? I'm honestly not sure about that. Enlighten me, faithful friends and foes!

The DL Resort and Casino is filling up mighty quickly, my friends, and I've got bad news: the Yanks have sent yet another injured soldier on a little vacation to DL-ville. This time, it's our floundering youngster Ian Kennedy who will be joining Hughsie and Jorgie Porgie on the DL, after straining his right lat during the third inning of yet another sub-par outing.

On second thought, maybe that's not such bad news after all.

Losing a player to the DL certainly isn't good news, obviously, but with the way I-Ken has been pitching perhaps a little breather will be good for him - and avoiding what has been an automatic loss every 5 days can't hurt the Yanks, either.

What about that spot in the rotation, though? The obvious solution would be to get Joba in there, since they've been working on stretching him out for that move anyway, but will 4 or 5 more days of extending his workload be enough to prepare him to throw 100 pitches in a game? Luckily for the Yanks, Hughsie's replacement, Rasner, has proved himself to be perfectly capable of filling in in the rotation himself, and if Joba is as successful in the starting role as he has been out of the bullpen, the Yanks will actually have a very strong starting 5.

Now if only their 'pen was halfway decent without Joba...

Trade forthcoming? Stay tuned.

Don't look now, but May is almost over, and the season is starting to pick up steam (it's more than a quarter over!). Since we're now heading into summer, it's the right time to look back and discuss the surprises - good and bad - that have affected our dear team thus far this season. There have been untimely injuries (estoy llorando), slumps aplenty, and even a good old fashioned temper tantrum - losing record or not, the Yanks have been fun to watch.

Top Ten Yankee Surprises

10) Phil Hughsie sucking
9) Cano's slumperific start
8) Giambino's slumptastic start
7) Girardi's hot-streak-igniting tirade (take note, Willy Randolph, if you want to continue being gainfully employed)
6) A-Rod stuck on the sidelines
5) The sub-.500 record (am I the only one who expected better?!)
4) I-Ken blowing it
3) Jorgie Porgie Pudding and Pie's extended vacation at the DL Resort and Casino
2) Hot Matso Ball Soup! (.331 average and .410 OPB)
1) Darrell Rasner's Aaron Small-esque outta-nowhere contributions.

Read last week's Top Ten: Yankees Plus Points

Last May, the floundering Yanks found their spark after A-Rod pulled a "bush" move (ps: every time I hear that term I picture Dubya doing whatever it was that was called bush, i.e. hollering and pumping his fist on the mound a la Jobamania) in Tampa with the "MINE!" holler that jacked up what would have been an easy play for the third baseman and shortstop. After that game, the Yanks pulled themselves up by their bootstraps (cleatstraps?) and turned their season around in grand fashion, making it to the playoffs after some pessimists had counted them out.

This year, Girardi took matters into his own hands:
It worked, too: moments after his Piniella-esque tantrum, Cano stepped up to the plate and laid down the game winning RBI single.

When was the last time a Yankees manager showed such passion? Certainly not our dear pat-on-the-back-lovin' Torre. Will this be the spark the Yankees needed?? Methinks tis certainly a good omen - I'm suddenly ready to lay a bet down on my team!

It's time to bid farewell to those old Joba rules that precluded him from pitching more than an inning or so every couple days: Girardino confirmed last night that Jobamania will be taking a spot in the floundering rotation sooner rather than later.

Joba's already pitched almost as many innings as he did last year, when the rules were even more stringent, and with the exception of a couple brief blips in the road (6 earned runs... I've had to remind myself he is indeed a human being and not a pitching android) he's been as fist-pumpingly effective as ever. With his youngster pitching counterparts Hughsie and I-Ken blowing it in grand fashion all year and his team's struggle to score more than 2 runs per game on a consistent basis, his presence in the rotation has become more vital with each passing day.

The plan to work him into the rotation is simple: get him into more games and keep him in there longer. No target date has been set - or if there is one, Girardi ain't sharing it - but they got the ball rolling yesterday by having him pitch two innings instead of his usual one. I'd imagine it's going to take a little while, though; there is a big difference between a 20-pitch outing and a 100-pitch start. Obviously, he was a starter in the minors, so the role isn't foreign to him, but he hasn't started a game in quite a while and needs to get back in the groove of going 6 or 7 innings. There's a chance he might make a brief detour back to AAA to start a couple games before starting for the Yanks, but that's just speculation at this point. Much as I would hate to lose him for a couple weeks, I have to admit that would make sense.

What doesn't make sense is the fact that Girardi's announcement last night sparked a debate amongst journalists, bloggers, and fans over whether the team would be better off keeping Joba in the set-up role and out of the rotation. Yes, he's stellar out of the 'pen, but wouldn't most any amazing pitcher be? Why would you settle for 60 innings of opponent shut-down when you can get 200? Would you put Santana in the bullpen? What the Yankees - and this goes for any team, obviously - need is a pitcher that can go out there every five days and get the team a win, and with I-Ken, Hughsie, Moose, and even Dandy Andy struggling to do just that it would be a disgrace to try to rely on Kei Igawa once a week when Joba and his robo-arm is sitting right there.

Sorry, Kei.

(No I'm not).

If you're at the ballpark for three hours, what would be the difference if it were 3:07 and the calls were right? -- Michael Kay

I never thought I'd say this, but... well put, Mr. Kay.

After catching a break from the umps on Sunday when a Carlos Delgado homer was incorrectly called foul, the Yanks were on the cheated end of a play tonight. During the bottom of the sixth inning, A-Rod, who had already homered back in the third, hit a long one out above the wall in right-center field. It didn't go out of the park, though -- it hit off the yellow staircase above/behind the wall and bounced back into the field, where it was played as a base hit. A-Rod was trotting around the bases in home run style, but had to catch himself at second when he realized his homer wasn't being played as such.

Continue reading Yankee Stadium Umps Blow Another One

Allow me to sum up last night's game in one word: Debacle.

Yes, twas quite the mess of a game. After the sorry way they played against the Mets over the weekend, the Yankees needed to bounce back in a big way and start clawing their way back towards that elusive .500 mark, and boy did they fail. Moose lasted a grand 0.2 innings and gave up 7 runs, and while 6 of them were technically unearned, his off-the-mark pitching should have put him on the hook for at least 4 or 5 more in my humble YC opinion. Jeter and Damon didn't help matters, blowing two plays that should have been tailor-made outs. After the Yanks were down by 10 runs, Jeet got smacked in the hand by a pitch and had to leave the game; he's now "day-to-day" but luckily the x-rays didn't show any bone breakage. A few innings later, LaTroy Hawkins threw two pitches right around Luke Scott's head (I'm still not convinced it was intentional, though... I think he was just sucking) and succeeded not just in getting himself ejected (BTW: with LTH getting suspended for that slip-up, the Yanks lead the league in suspended players [Melky, Spirit Coordinator, and Farnsworthless have all been booted]) but in clearing the benches for what turned out to be the weakest almost-brawl I've ever seen. No punches thrown, no coaches thrown to the ground... very disappointing.

There was one fleeting bright spot when A-Rod smacked a homer in his first game back after three weeks on the DL for that busted quad, but those two runs barely made a dent in the O's hearty lead. At least we got to see that he has fully recuperated from the injury, but the rest of the offense needs to get their asses in gear and start following suit with some hits of their own, because even A-Rod can't carry a team of slumpers to the playoffs all by his lonesome.

Tonight we've got Rasner vs Olson, both 3-0 this year with similar ERA's (3.00 for Ras and 3.47 for Olson), and the Yankees need Ras to hang in there for a good long time to give the poor over-taxed bullpen a little relief. Let's cross our fingers that Girardino sits the team down before the game tonight and fires them up... because I can't take much more of this.

The Red Sox have been outshining our dearly beloved Yankees in every facet of the game lately, signing the coveted big shots, winning championships, and getting all-star performances out of their youngsters. With last night's no-hitter from Jon Lester they've now had two consecutive no-hitters thrown by dudes under 25, while across town I-Ken and Phil Hughsie have been struggling just to keep their ERA's out of the double-digit range. Yes, it's quite the changing of the fates, isn't it?

Lest you get too sad about the state of affairs in Yankee Universe, remember that even in these slumpy times, the team does have a few things going for it. Things in the Bronx aren't as bad as they may seem, even when compared with the Red Sox - or any other team in the league!

Top Ten Yankees Plus Points

10) Dedicated fans that aren't always belligerent
9) A nice shiny new stadium on the way (Yes, I'm stretching things a bit at this point... I could only really come up with 9 points)
8) Robby Cano (he WILL pick it up. Mark him down for a batting title sometime in his career)
7) Matso Ball Soup
6) Jeter Jeter Pumpkin Eater
5) Wangster
4) Mariano
3) Girardino
2) Jobamania
1) A-Rod

Read last week's Top Ten: Random Player Endorsement Deals

I wish I hadn't said I'd post a video after the Mets-Yanks series was over. When I said that, I was under the silly assumption that the Yankees would have won a game or two or at the very least not humiliated themselves. I was wrong.

FanHouse Minute is your 60-second rundown of the top five headlines of the day. Check back here every weekday morning for the latest.

Video link.

Read more:
5. Barry Bonds is a Rap Star
4. Arena Football Still Exists?
3. Double Knockout!
2. Penguin Power!
1. Instant Replay?

The lovely ladies of FanHouse Minute:
Mondays: Yankees Chick
Tuesdays: Miss Gossip
Wednesdays: Kate Scott
Thursdays: Kristine
Fridays: Mystery Lady

The Giambino has been having a slumperific season thus far, hitting a measly .193 and slugging just .468, and he's eager to follow in Cano's footsteps and start breaking out and laying down some hits. Some folks might think that a little extra batting practice might do the trick, or even a simple attitude adjustment (wherefore art though, Jim Fannin?!), but such sane measures (not the Jim Fannin part... that was but a spot of humor) will not suffice for Giambi. Nay, Jason has a different method for slump-busting: a special gold thong.

Since hearing the fine folks at Sportscenter discuss this issue, I am having a very hard time burning the mental image of Giambi's ample buttocks sucked into a tiny pair of panties more appropriate for Paris Hilton or Britney Spears than a 200+ pound lunging first baseman. The worst part of this story is actually not the idea of Giambino donning the stripper undies but the fact that he has SHARED THEM with Jeter and Damon when they were in need of a pick-me-up themselves. I know baseball players tend to be superstitious, but this seems like one trick that should be kept to oneself.

PS: Dear Jason,
Perhaps you should start wearing two thongs, or a silver garter belt. You need more help.

In addition to my usual Yankees Chick posts, I have also begun writing regularly for AOL's FanHouse blog on all things AL East. I will post the beginnings of those articles here on YC, and then you'll have to click the link to jump on over to FH to read the rest... stick with me here, amigos!
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Question: Why aren't Yankees fans fired up with frustration this season? The team is three games under .500 and they've taken up residence in the lonely AL East cellar.

Answer: I do not know.

After getting rained out last night, the Yanks played the Mets at home today, and it was an important game for both teams. The Mets' recent slide has many fans speculating that Willy Randolph's job may be on the line at this point, and the Yanks simply need to prove to themselves that they can indeed score some runs. Despite giving up three homers -- to Jeter, Abreu, and Giambi -- Santana held the Yanks off and led his team to a 7-4 victory.

Continue reading Mets Help Yanks Continue Their Suck Streak

The Mets-Yanks series starts TODAY, munecas mias, and a sweep against the cross town rivals would be fantastic not just for their sub-.500 record but for their seemingly faltering confidence. Can they hack it against the Mets' strong pitching? At least the Metropolitans ain't hitting either...

Upper Deck has released an awesome set of cards in honor of the last year at Yankee stadium, and the kind folks at UD have given me a heaping helping of the cards to give away to YOU! Here are the details about the set:

The Upper Deck Company, the industry leader when it comes to creating innovative card sets, is releasing the largest baseball trading card set ever produced. The “Yankee Stadium Legacy” collection, a 6,661-card compilation celebrating every single New York Yankees home game played at the famous “House That Ruth Built,” began its official debut in February by being inserted in random packs of Upper Deck’s 2008 Series 1 Baseball release.

With the old Yankee Stadium playing out its last regular season this year before the Bronx Bombers move to a new ballpark in 2009, Upper Deck decided it was a terrific opportunity to acknowledge the incredible history and happenings that have occurred at Yankee Stadium since its doors opened in 1923. Besides chronicling 85 seasons’ worth of Yankees home games (this season’s games will be included in Upper Deck’s 2009 Series One Baseball release next February to complete the set), this enormous compilation also includes some of the most famous sporting events that have taken place at Yankee Stadium including: legendary Notre Dame Football coach Knute Rockne’s famous “Win one for the Gipper” halftime speech inside the Yankees locker room (Nov. 10, 1928); the Baltimore Colts’ 23-17 overtime victory against the New York Giants in the NFL Championship game, which is often referred to as “the greatest game ever played” (Dec. 28, 1958); and Muhammad Ali’s title defense against Ken Norton (Sept. 28, 1976).

In addition to the enormous accomplishment of collecting the complete set, Upper Deck is giving fans and collectors another reason to find cards from the historic set! Consumers can register the codes on the back of the Yankee Stadium Legacy cards at www.OwnTheLegacy.com to be entered into a sweepstakes for a chance to win once-in-a-lifetime Yankees prizes. Some of those include a trip for two to this year’s MLB All-Star Game; trips to the last regular-season game in 2008 at Yankee Stadium; and trips to the first 2009 regular-season game held at the new Yankee Stadium. The more card codes entered, the better one’s chances are of winning.

The www.OwnTheLegacy.com website includes a card management system that allows collectors to track their progress on completing the set, as well as message boards where collectors can share their personal Yankee stories with fellow YSL card-collecting enthusiasts. The site also includes the comprehensive YSL Checklist, which shows all 6,661 game cards within the set as well as seven “special moments” cards from Yankee Stadium that Upper Deck has included.

What dost thou have to do to win, you asketh me? It's easy as pie, lovelies. Simply send me an email with the answers to the following trivia questions by Thursday, May 22nd at 11:59pm PDT and you shall be entered to win! On Friday I will put all the respondents with correct answers into a randomizer to pick 5 winners.

The questions!

1. Who was the pitcher that served up A-Rod's 500th homer last year?
2. Where did the Yankees play their games while Yankee Stadium was being revamped in the 1970's?
3. Which Yankee feuded with Joe Torre in1996, calling him a "liar," but came back to the team in 2003?
4. Which Yankees (past and present) were named in Senator "Politics Smolitics; My Goal Ain't to Represent My Constituents But to Out Juicers!" Mitchell's report?
5. What other site does YC blog for?
6. What nickname has YC given Shelley Duncan?

The super groovy prizes are as follows:

• 2008 Baseball Spectrum Set:
• 20 packs of 5 cards
• 2 autographs and two memorabilia cards in the box
  

• 5 Yankee Stadium Legacy cards:
  1. Kevin Maas; 5/7/1991 against the Mariners
  2. Herb Pennock; 8/23/1924 against the Tigers
  3. Johnny Mize; 5/12/1953 against the Indians
     
  4. Derek Jeter; 5/7/2000 against the Orioles
  5. Whitey Ford; 9/9/1923 against the Red Soxbase
     

• 5 Yankee Stadium Legacy cards:
  1. Moose Skowron; 7/6/1961 against the Indians
  2. Jim Leyritz; 8/25/1990 against the Brewers
  3. Yogi Bera; 7/3/1960 against the Tigers
     
  4. Derek Jeter; 5/6/2000 against the Orioles
  5. Kevin Maas; 5/14/1991 against the Angels
     

• 5 Yankee Stadium Legacy cards:
  1. Joe DiMaggio; 8/30/1950 against the Indians
  2. Lou Gehrig; 6/20/1925 against the White Sox
     
  3. Paul O'Neill; 11/1/2001 against the Diamondbacks
     
  4. Andy Pettitte; 5/12/2002 against the Devil Rays
     
  5. Kevin Maas; 6/28/1990 against the Brewers
     

• 3 Yankee Stadium Legacy cards:
  1. Don Mattingly; 4/27/1990 against the Angels
  2. Joe DiMaggio; 6/5/1950 against the Indians
     
  3. Whitey Ford; 7/28/1962 against the White Sox

Let's do it, my friends and foes! Send your emails to info@yankeeschick.com by next Thursday and win yourself some great collectibles. I look forward to hearing from y'all!

The season is a quarter over already, munecas, and the Yanks are still under .500. Unlike last year, though, no one seems to be panicking. Why is that? Do people have more faith in Girardino than they did in Torre? Are they just more patient? Assuming things will pick up with A-Rod and Jorgie Porgie Pudding and Pie return? I'm not sure, but I greatly appreciate the positive vibes. All that negativity last year was a downer and unnecessary. The only one fired up at the moment is Ozzie Guillen Jr Hank Steinbrother, and I doubt any of y'all are surprised about that.

The biggest excitement/source of great anticipation today is the return of I-Ken, who is coming back after two good outings down in AAA. He should be brimming with confidence due to those performances - which is exactly what the Yanks were hoping would happen by sending him down - and I would love nothing more today than to see him succeed. If the lackadaisical offense can come out of hiding and score a few runs (they've scored FOUR runs in the last 33 innings... that is not good. In case you weren't sure. Sorry to inform you), he'll have a good chance to record his first win of the season and carry the team to a nice .500 average.

Too bad Kazmir is on the mound. The bats are going to have to work extra hard.

Lineup:
Former Demon LF
Melk-Man CF
Jeter Jeter Pumpkin Eater SS
Giambino DH
Spirit Coordinator RF
Mo-Ens1B
Slump-Buster 2B
Attorney General 3B
One of Those Molina Brothers C

Plaaaaaaaaaaay ball!

The Yanks have been having serious issues scoring runs and winning games lately, no question about it. They've lost 5 of their last 8 games, and after their win tonight they are still a game under .500. With A-Rod and Posada out of the lineup - and their replacements playing about as well as my nephew's t-ball team (save for the running bases in the opposite direction) - it's no surprise that they're having trouble, and the shaky back end of the rotation (I'm looking at you, I-Ken and Hughsie [and YOU, Kei Igawa. RIGHT AT YOU]) hasn't been helping the team's cause either. Neither Girardi nor the boys themselves seem too concerned about the current situation... but guess who is?

If you guessed Howlin' Hank Steinbrother, you are correct!! He seems to have taken a class in diplomacy from Ozzie Guillen, or, as I have oft speculated, was simply born without that all-too-important "oh, perhaps I shouldn't say that" filter in his brain. Here's his latest:

We’ve got to forget about all the injuries and start playing our butts off. The bottom line is that the team is not playing the way it is capable of playing. These players are being paid a lot of money and they had better decide for themselves to earn that money. This is going to get turned around. If it’s not turned around this year, then it will be turned around next year, by force if we have to.”

What does he plan on doing to "force" a turnaround? Is he going to start busting heads? I hope no one gave him a shilelagh for Christmas.

...Although that'd be kind of fun to watch. Please direct him towards Pavano first.

Athletes seem to love little more than earning extra dough by endorsing various products. Playing ball is fun and all, but it takes just a couple hours to film a commercial or do a photo shoot holding a jar of peanut butter or jug of a lightning bolt enhanced Gatorade. These days there are few baseball stars that can't land a sweet endorsement deal, and some of them are a tad on the ridiculous side...

Top Ten Baseball Random Player Endorsement Deals

10) Jeter for Skippy "Doubly Delicious" peanut butter. I'd like to see him bust out a jar of PB in the dugout between innings and go to town.

9) Jose Reyes for Wise Snacks. I've only seen these fine products on the east coast (we Californians have to stick with the old standards like Lays and Ruffles (deeeeelish!). I wish I could find a picture of his face gracing the chip bags -- if you can find one for me, you win a prize (and by "prize" I mean "glory of knowing you found a cool pic for YC").

8) Ryan Klesko for Boot Barn. Because he wears a lot of boots. In a barn.


7) Derek Jeter for Ford. There is no way in hell that man drives a Ford. Unless Ford makes Bently's or Ferrari's these days.

6) Tadahito Iguchi for some sort of membership card. I can't figure out what it's a membership for, but I'm pretty sure I see a magic wand in there.



5) Sammy Sosa for Pepsi. A couple notes about this fine commercial: A) I am addicted to saying "Sammy Sosa!" like the taco customer. B) "Special taco" sounds VERY dirty (perhaps simply because I have the mind of a 12 year old boy and anything sexual is funny). C) That icy cold Pepsi really does look delicious... and I'm a Dr Pepper fanatic.



4) Ichiro for Sato Energy Drink. Two words about this commercial: BEAR TRAPS.



3) Jason Giambi for Arm & Hammer’s Ultramax Deodorant. At the end of the commercial, he says that the deodorant is “all the muscle a man needs.” And steroids.

2) Akinori Otsuka for Corky's Pest Control in San Diego. Got ants? No problem - Aki is here to save the day, with one of the catchiest jingles in the TV world today (second only to those delightful Freecreditreport.com gems). I dare you to not sing along.



1) Ichiro for what looks like the Japanese version of Bugles Corn Chips. I can't decide if the best part is the bugles raining down from a corn on the cob or Ichiro's face at the end of the commercial.




Read last week's Top Ten: Pure Golden Magic Manager Blow-Ups

In addition to my usual Yankees Chick posts, I have also begun writing regularly for AOL's FanHouse blog on all things AL East. I will post the beginnings of those articles here on YC, and then you'll have to click the link to jump on over to FH to read the rest... stick with me here, amigos!
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The Yankees gave Ian Kennedy the boot a little over a week ago, sending him to AAA to let him take a break from the pressures of New York (and to give themselves a break from his apparent inability to get batters out), but he's been working hard to prove he doesn't belong in Scranton -- he wants back in New York as soon as possible. After just two appearances with Scranton he can declare mission accomplished (the exact opposite of Bush's definition of the phrase): he'll be starting the game against the Rays on Thursday.

Continue Reading "Stupid" Yanks Bringing I-Ken Back

Greetings and salutations, YC friends and foes! I hope everyone had a delightful weekend, whether you were enjoying a ball game, honoring your mother with a card you found in the 99cent section of Hallmark, or watching Lifetime movies for 48 straight hours. Mondays are usually depressing with the school and/or work week firing back up, so I have a treat for you to read whilst you take your lunch break - another edition of the patented (lies) Rest o' the League Round-up! As usual, I'm allotting just 10 words (or less!) per team. Ready??

Commence!

AL East Looks who's still in the running!
Boston: Interested in Rockie's Taveras. Better than Colon.
Tampa Bay: 59 more to that elusive 80 wins mark!!
Baltimore: Enjoy not being in last place for another few days.
Toronto: Ouuuuuuuuuuuuch Wells :(

AL Central Is it just me or do the standings here seems a tad askew?
Minnesota: Thanks for stopping Sox from pulling another annoying come-from-behinder.
Chicago: Not ONE dude hitting over .300. That's bad. If you're wondering.
Cleveland: How long can Lee keep that 0.81 ERA up?
Detroit: D-Train on his way back. Could be Zito 2.0
Kansas City: How's that Ambiorix Burgos for Bannister trade working out, Mets?

AL West Way better rivalry than their NL counterparts
Oakland: Rich Harden pitched and didn't Pavano. Will eventually.
Los Angeles: Bats slumping like Jason Giambi. Will still win division.
Texas: Just blame it on Bush.
Seattle: A couple losses away from abject disaster.

NL East Are you at all scared, Mets and Phillies?
Florida: Best record in the game. How long will this last?
New York: Carlos y Carlos starting to hit at last - bodes well.
Philadelphia: Ryan Howard STILL struggling... and fatter than ever.
Atlanta: Smoltz and Glavine realizing it's not the 90's anymore.
Washington: Aaron Boone hitting .304 in limited at-bats. Huh?

NL West What happened to the hot race?
Arizona: Not as good against good teams, eh?
Los Angeles: Painful loss after 7+ no-hit innings by Kuroda. Such a bust.
San Francisco: Barry Baked Ziti's picture here syncs up well with his stats
Colorado: 2 no-no's for AAA Sky Sox - wowza!
San Diego: Congratulations, Maddux! (I was there!)

FanHouse Minute is your 60-second rundown of the top five headlines of the day. Check back here every weekday morning for the latest.

Video link.

Read more:
5. Gagne: You Are Correct
4. Game On
3. Were There No Bears Players Available?
2. The Toughest Job in the NBA Has Been Filled
1. Got Dirt?

The lovely ladies of FanHouse Minute:
Mondays: Yankees Chick
Tuesdays: Miss Gossip
Wednesdays: Kate Scott
Thursdays: Kristine
Fridays: Mystery Lady

Question: Who is 45 years old, fat, gout-stricken, owns a hunting lodge with Kirk Gibson, adores a good martini and wants to pitch for the Yankees?

Answer: None other than our old and dearly beloved friend David "Drunky McDrunkerson Perfect Game" Wells!

That's right, munecas, Boomer has been working out in San Diego and has expressed an interest in making a return trip to New York for a second third stint pitching for the Yanks. For his part, Hank Steinbrother has admitted that he has considered the possibility, and I'd imagine that with I-Ken taking a (hopefully helpful...) breather down in AAA and Hughes on vacation at the DL Resort and Casino (playing $2/4 hold 'em and laying down some bets on the Marlins) Hankster's interest is peaking. He said he hasn't discussed it with the Cash Man yet, but since taking the reigns from his pop he hasn't seemed to give much of a hoot about Cash's ideas or input; Hank calls the shots these days and if he decides he wants Boomer, I have a feeling it won't matter much what Cash thinks - he'll sign him.

After watching Kei Igawa pitch yesterday (if you can call that pitching... I think "gentle lobbing intended to give the Tigers a lovely batting practice session" is more appropriate), I would have no problem putting Wellsy on that mound. He's been rocking a 4-5.00ish ERA over the last couple years, and if the Yanks could count on that and focus on giving him some decent run support, I'd say that would be a lovely arrangement.

What dost thou think?

Kei Igawa is making his 2008 debut tonight, and I'm not as nervous about it as I thought I might be. He's been doing well enough down in AAA, and the Tigers aren't exactly hitting like gangbusters right now; the Yanks, on the other hand, ARE starting to heat up at the plate, so there's a good chance they'll be able to offer the poor sap some run support. Here's what he's done so far in Scranton this year:

Games started: 7
Innings Pitched: 39.2
Record: 3-3
Hits Allowed: 33
Strikeouts: 40
Walks: 12
ERA: 3.86
Whip: 1.13

Yes, it's only AAA, but the numbers are still positive. The strikeout to walk ratio in particular is a promising factor. Also, he has worked with Moeller before down in AAA, so hopefully that will help him out, too. Can he hack it back in the big leagues, though? We shall see in just a couple short hours...

Here's who will be backing him up:
Melk Man - CF
Jeter Jeter Pumpkin Eater - SS
Bobby "I'm Afraid to Go After Balls Near the Wall" Abreu - RF
Matso Ball Soup - LF
Spirit Coordinator - 1B
Giambino - DH
Better Mint - 3B
Slumpy McSlumperson (if he does well tonight I'll consider changing the name) 2B
Chad "Who?" Moeller - C

With Cano and Giambi starting to break out of their slumps and Matso Ball on a super hot streak, I have high hopes for this game.

Also, the Tigers suck.

PLAY BALL!

Do you miss A-Rod?

I do.

So do the Yanks.

Good news for all involved, though - his rehabbing is going smoothly and he is on track to come back in about a week. Yesterday things didn't sound quite as certain, as Girardi insisted that they wouldn't be rushing him and that he still needed an MRI before he could start to ramp things up in rehab-ville, but I suppose he and A-Rod have agreed that he is feeling fine and dandy and ready to amp up the practice after all.

Even better news! He worked out and hit some balls yesterday, and did very well, including smacking "several" homers. He said he felt good and gave the crowd a thumbs up as he trotted off the field after his practice.

Next thing we need? Some similar good news on Posada!

Our dear Matsui is very adept at flying under the radar, leaving his cronies like A-Rod and Jeter to deal with the spotlight. As a result, sometimes Matso's accomplishments get overshadowed by his flashier teammates, which is unfortunate given his propensity for putting up consistently solid numbers. In New York, it's easy to get lost in the shuffle with all the big stars and scandals (THANKS, Clemens [and you too, McCready]), so I wanted to take a brief moment here on YC to salute the dude responsible for keeping many an inning alive.

Here's what he's done so far:
At-bats: 119
Hits: 41
Walks: 14
K's: 14
Average: .345 (#1 in AL)
RBI: 17
OBP: .426
Slugging: .496
Hit Streak: 16 games

2008 is shaping up to be another year for Matso, and with the absence of A-Rod and Posada at the moment his job is even more vital than ever before (unnecessarily dramatic sentence?). So far he has stepped up to the plate (pun! Hardy har har... I'm a goddamn comedic GENIUS) and picked up the slack left by his injured comrades and it looks like he is in the zone, so to speak. His consecutive games played streak was brought to an abrupt end back in April of 2006 when busted his wrist, but he's got a new streak going now - hits.

How long can he keep that up? What are the betting' odds on him making it to 30 games? 40? 50? 57?

Don't jinx it!

We've got an excellent game to look forward to tonight, my lovelies. With the on-fire Lee and Wang taking the mound for their respective teams, this game could very likely be boiled down to a good old-fashioned pitching duel. Here's the lines on the two aforementioned pitchers:

Wangster:
Record:6-0
Innings Pitched: 45.0
Hits Allowed: 38
ER: 15
ERA: 3.00
Walks: 18
Strikeouts: 32
WHIP: 1.133

Lee:
Record:5-0
Innings Pitched: 37.7
Hits Allowed: 19
ER: 4
ERA: 0.96
Walks: 2
Strikeouts: 32
WHIP: 0.558

Those Cliff Lee stats are so ridiculous they actually make Wangster's line look mediocre - even though his year has been anything but.

Here's the lineup that will be trying to shake Lee up at last:
Former Demon Damon LF
Jeter Jeter Pumpkin Eater SS
Abrewhoo RF
Spirit Coordinator 1B
Matso Ball Soup DH
Melk-Man CF
Slumpy McSlumperson 2B
Mo-Ens 3B
One of Those Molina Boys C

Sidenote: I just wanted to mention how impressed I was with Joba's cool on the mound after serving up that painful 3-run homer to Delucci last night. He bounced back and got the next batter out and waited to wallow in frustration/pull his hair out (literally... in case you missed it) until he made it back to the dugout. He is but a mere mortal, not infallible as we all have assumed. He'll be back in fighting form in no time.

Back with some in-game updates in T-114 minutes!

8:18pm EDT: Cliff Lee sure is keeping up his end of the pitching duel. In any other game Wang's performance would be just dandy, but with Lee silencing the Yanks' bats those two runs he's giving up are two too many.

8:35pm EDT: This man is simply out of control en fuego. It's the bottom of the fifth and he's only up to about 50 pitches. Wang, on the other hand, has thrown 86.

9:05 EDT: Grrrr... the Yanks almost got the best of Lee with base hits by Abreu and Shelley, but Matso Ball couldn't get either of them in to score. Score still 3-0 Indians and Wangster is back out to pitch the 7th. If he can't hack it, I think Ohlendork is up in the 'pen.

9:09pm EDT: 5-pitch inning for the Wangster - he's doing his best to give his team a chance to get back in this game. Now we just need a few HITS (preferably with some dudes in scoring position, por favor?). They've got 9 more outs to score at least three...

9:31pm EDT: That Molina Brother just threw out Francisco trying to steal second, his second catch of a would-be base-stealer tonight. At least he's good for something.

6 more outs to go. GET IT TOGETHER.

Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail.

Ian Kennedy had to suck up his pride when the Yankees decided a trip back to AAA for some extra seasoning was in order, but rather than dwell on his early season failures and subsequent demotion he is taking the opportunity to show the Yanks a thing or two. His first outing was good enough to let us all breathe a sigh of relief, proving he IS that talented kid we all saw last year and who scouts deemed "untradable" - and he knows it:

I’m trying to say it humbly, but it doesn’t matter what I say, it’s going to come out cocky. You just know. I woke up today and told my wife, ‘I just have a feeling I’m going to make these guys look stupid.’

I don't know if his performance made the Yanks feel "stupid" for sending him down necessarily, but it certainly allowed them to breathe a sigh of relief. I must say that I appreciate I-Ken's confidence and can-do attitude - let's just hope his first start back with the Yanks whenever that should be will be good enough to illicit another Best Quote Ever from the dear boy.

Ian Kennedy and Phil Hughes have put the Yanks (not to mention us fans) through a lot of heartaches and headaches this year, leading many to question all those scouting reports that made them out to be can't-miss stars. Hughes recused himself by fracturing a rib, thus avoiding both the ever-increasing pressure and/or embarrassing and confidence-shattering move to the bullpen or AAA. The latter turned out to be I-Ken's fate after a miserable season start.

Being demoted is surely a blow to one's self-esteem, but in this case it might be just what Kennedy needs to BOOST his confidence. He made his first start with Scranton today, and he didn't waste any time showing the Yanks that he's still got the talent we all saw last year. In his Scranton debut today he went 7.1 innings, gave up just one hit (he had a no-hitter going through 5 2/3), struck out eight and didn't walk a soul (although he did hit a dude) and threw 90 pitches. Rather than sinking into a depression or beating himself up about being sent down, IPK is using his time wisely to show the Yanks that he can and will turn things around when he is recalled.

Continue Reading There's Still Hope: I-Ken Starts His AAA Trip Off With a Bang

6) October 15, 1997: During the 1977 World Series against the Yankees, Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda had a sweet freakout when he pulled pitcher Doug Rau out of the game. Rau put up an argument and Lasorda let him have it. Rau said he felt fine. Tommy didnt agree:

I don't give a shit you feel good there's four motherfuckin hits up there. That's fuckin great for you to be standing out here talking to me like that.

Listen to the tirade here: http://www.dodgerblues.com/images/lasorda-rau.mp3

5) May 4, 2008: Like Lee Elia, one of the top residents of Manager Crazy-Ville, Ozzie Guillen, has a bone to pick with his cross-town rivals the Cubs. In response to questions about recent roster moves, Ozzie snapped and apparently decided that the question really was "What do you think about the Cubs, Ozzie? And don't hold back:"

We won it a couple years ago, and we're horseshit. The Cubs haven't won in 100 years, and they're the fucking best. Fuck it, we're good. Fuck everybody. We're horseshit, and we're going to be horseshit the rest of our lives, no matter how many World Series we win. We are the shit of Chicago. We're the Chicago shit. We have the worst owner. The guy's got seven fucking rings, and he's the fucking horseshit owner.”

4) June 9, 1999: In the 12^th inning of a marathon Mets-Red Sox game, Mets manager Bobby Valentine got booted after arguing a call. This alone would not merit a place on this list, but Valentine takes the cake for being the only ejected manager to attempt to come back to the game after being told get out. Later in the same inning, Valentine reappeared in the Mets dugout disguised in dark glasses and a mustache. He did not go unnoticed, though, and was fined $5,000 and suspended for 2 games.

After struggling mightily throughout April, the Yanks have made the difficult choice to remove Kennedy from the roster and send him down to AAA Scranton to get some more practice and (hopefully) figure out why the hell he couldn't hack it with the Yanks. With the way he's been pitching, it really shouldn't come as much of a surprise:

Games Started: 5
Innings Pitched: 23.7
Hits Allowed: 28
ER: 22
ERA: 8.37
Walks: 20
Strikeouts: 16
WHIP: 2.028

While a temporary send-down doesn't shock me, I-Ken himself wasn't expecting it, saying "I was kind of surprised." With all due respect to my dear IPK, allow me to inquire: Did you really not consider the possibility that you weren't pitching well enough to stay on the team? If I were a 23-year-old MLB pitcher (and I almost was - I was drafted [first round, obv] but opted to pursue an illustrious career in baseball blogging instead) the knowledge that I could be sent back to the minors if I didn't perform would always be on my mind.

Watching IPK and Hughsie struggle throughout the start of the season has been frustrating to say the least... and by "frustrating" I mean "gut-wrenchingly painful" or "embarrassing" or perhaps even "punch-a-wall-maddening." So painful was it that I was actually somewhat relieved when Hughes booked a room at the DL Resort and even more relieved at the news that I-Ken is getting a break of his own. I'm still convinced that those two possess a good amount of talent and I so badly want them to succeed (if for no other reason than to assuage our depression that we didn't try harder to trade them for Santana), so I truly hope that reprieve from the pressure (and booing) of the big leagues will be just what the doctor ordered for both of them.

The real bad news here is that with both of them out of the rotation the Yanks have but one option to fill the spot vacated by I-Ken (Rasner replaced Hughes - successfully, I might add): none other than Kei "Oh, You Got Dice-K? We'll Get Our Own Japanese Import, JERKS! We'll Show You!" Igawa. Lo siento, amigos... y tengo miedo.

Happy Saturday, my delightful friends! The Yanks played great today, which always makes for a good afternoon. Moose pitched a gem (we needed that after the poor outings by I-Ken and Pettitte last week), and save for Cano and Giambi, whose continued sorry performances have sadly conditioned us to expect little or nothing from that duo, the bats were looking good. What's more, it's time for my favorite post of the week: Sidenote Saturdays!

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Have a grand rest of your weekend, lovelies!


Read last week's Sidenote Saturdays: Just Say No

Bad news, folks: the Yanks are going to be without their catcher for a lot longer than all of us had hoped.

Last week Jorgie checked into the DL Resort for the first time in his illustrious career; his "dead shoulder" (whatever that means... if I didn't know better I'd almost think it sounded suspicious) had finally gotten the best of him. He was only put on the 15-day DL, leading us to believe that he just needed a short rest and that he'd be back in no time at all. Sadly, that proved to be false - it's now being reported that he'll need at least 5 weeks to get back in shape.

Sigh. He was having a good start to the season, batting .302 with 11 RBI in 18 games, and with the way Giambi and Cano are hitting (or NOT hitting, more accurately) his bat was really needed in the lineup. Unfortunately, his replacement Jose Molina isn't providing even close to the production the Yanks were likely to get out of Posada - he's batting a sad .218 with an even sadder .214 OBP. Interesting, his backup catcher Chad Moeller is actually doing well, hitting .333 in 7 games, so I suppose it's nice to at least have a decent backup.

He's no Posada, though.

HURRY BACK MY DEARLY DEPARTED JORGIE!

The poor performances of Hughsie and I-Ken have been getting a lot of press this season, but there's another youngster on the Yanks that's been doing his fair share of failing: my beloved Robinson Cano. There's no denying it, folks - he's been sucking big time since the start of the season and has given us no indication that he's getting ready to bust out any time soon. Take a look at his performance over the course of the first 30 games:

At-bats: 110
Hits: 17
Batting Average: .155
Strikeouts: 14
Walks: 7
OBP: .212
Slugging: .236
Stolen Bases: 0
Caught Steeling: 2

Troubling, yes, but is it a long-term concern? Let's not forget that last year he hit .306 and the year before that an extremely impressive .342; clearly he is not lacking skill or talent. So what are we to make of this embarrassing display? For his part, Cano is looking more and more sickened with himself after every strikeout and fly ball - he has even curtailed his trademark dancing with the Melkster - and who can blame him? I'm sure it IS frustrating to know that you have the talent to succeed but are continuing to fall short (it's certainly frustrating to watch). The question isn't whether he CAN hit, it's whether he WILL pull himself out of this and get on track.

There's also the bigger question of WHY he's doing so poorly. Could the manager change have anything to do with it? WWJTD (What Would Joe Torre Do... 2 points to all of you that have honed your figuring-out-the-YC-acronyms skills)? Perhaps all he really needs is some loving pats on the back.